Internet dating sites

[Johnni]

Originally Posted by UkG

Yeah I'd agree with that, although i feel for me personally paying is a last resort.

[Defiance]

LOL johnni

[UkG]

Originally Posted by Johnni

That's gone right over my head, not sure if thats scrooge, or you're trying to say I'll be old and single.

Either way i'm not tight, I just don't need to pay to meet someone.

[Johnni]

Its scrooge.

[Mr Ploppy]

I might, just might be able to go out with someone who knows me already, but internet dating, not a chance.
I tried it once and it ended in disaster.

[UkG]

Well I've re-did my profile, this time I am brutally honest, I'll see the results...

[Colin80]

I found match.com ok, it is expensive though but you get what you pay for. I wouldn't have much faith in a site that you don't pay for really, too much riff raff. Although maybe I'm being a bit snobby.

Spoke to quite a few women in the 6 months I was on there and had dates with 3 but nothing too serious. If I was still single I would give it another crack certainly.

[Wings]

Originally Posted by Johnni

haha!! at first i thought it was an old man playing chess with himself

Originally Posted by Colin80

I found match.com ok, it is expensive though but you get what you pay for. I wouldn't have much faith in a site that you don't pay for really, too much riff raff. Although maybe I'm being a bit snobby.

Spoke to quite a few women in the 6 months I was on there and had dates with 3 but nothing too serious. If I was still single I would give it another crack certainly.

so tempted to join now but i'm still undecided

not being a scrooge but i once paid for Mysinglefriend and in the 3 months i only got 2 messages. when i did a search i couldn't even find my profile, so i complained but was just told to log in more often. so don't want to get ripped off again

i think i will hold back on paying until i've had my second date with short ugly guy tomorrow. who knows, he could be the One

[UkG]

Originally Posted by Colin80

I found match.com ok, it is expensive though but you get what you pay for. I wouldn't have much faith in a site that you don't pay for really, too much riff raff. Although maybe I'm being a bit snobby.

Spoke to quite a few women in the 6 months I was on there and had dates with 3 but nothing too serious. If I was still single I would give it another crack certainly.

Nah you're not being a snob, nail on the head actually.

I had one person that told me today that they wouldn't date someone from the net as you never know who they are.

My response was why join a dating site then.

At least with a paid site, no one would pay with no intention of dating.

Although I'm dubious that these pay sites have a lot of fakes.

I can't remember which site it was but I joined on that was "free" but you had to pay to message, anyway every day I'd receive emails telling me of all the people that had sent me messages.

Bearing in mind I had no pictures, or profile done yet, and all the people who apparently messaged me looked like models

[UkG]

Originally Posted by Moomin

How do you stop POF sending you emails every time you get a message. Its driving me nuts.

Go to edit profile, then mail settings, then scroll down.

[Defiance]

was bored so i signed upto okcupid and did 50 questions. i get the impression it is alot less active than plentyoffish?


also i dont like the way they do pictures. they make it so it too easy for them to just show thier face and not their body

[hidden_away]

I'm on pof but only to meet people for friendships. No one ever messages me back. I'm not bothered though lol.

Oh and I know a guy who joined match.com and had a few dates. He is still a member and said he would never go back to a free dating website.

[Defiance]

tbh i do get the impression most peepz on the free dating sites dont take it very seriously. perhaps having to pay for it would make people act differently, ..i dont know.

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by Moomin

It has five times less members. However, a lot more quality but I suppose thats more in regards to what I look for. No harm in leaving both running.

I'm not sure if i like that match rating thing.

I like the thing that shows how often women reply to messages though.

edit: also i don't like they way they display profiles. despite being online and searching for my profile i can't find myself in the search results anywhere. no wonder i've got no views. the plentyoffish way of displaying profiles is alot better than how they do it on okcupid.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by Defiance

was bored so i signed upto okcupid and did 50 questions. i get the impression it is alot less active than plentyoffish?


also i dont like the way they do pictures. they make it so it too easy for them to just show thier face and not their body

You might get feminist beats for that!
Judging people on looks, I dunno.. despicable!

[Harri]

I've not had much luck on either but I think OKC is definitely better than POF. Given that they're both free I can't see why people are using POF to be honest.

I have to say, I'm really surprised that SA people have the guts to use a dating site. I freak out every time I get a message and have deleted my account more than once because I couldn't think of anything to say.

[Azi]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

You might get feminist beats for that!
Judging people on looks, I dunno.. despicable!

I dunno, I don't see that as a real feminist issue. People very often do judge a potential partner on looks primarily/solely. I s'pose if that's your criteria for a decent partner, so be it. I think it's a little different judging a person's general worth (as opposed to whether you are likely to fancy them) only on their physical appearance.

However, if your only criteria for 'dateableness' was how attractive you deemed them to be, you're narrowing your number of potential matches and so less likely to find someone you really like. I guess it just depends how crucial physical attractiveness is to you personally. Also, I guess you just have to accept that other people will be assessing you in the same way. It's one reason I think the dating scene is horrific - you're constantly being judged and/or judging other people, which is especially hard for an SAer. It's also why I would find internet dating even more nightmareish than 'normal' dating - it's constant scrutiny and if your 'skills' and strengths are better face-to-face, you'll struggle.

/waffle (anything to avoid the dissy, eh? )

[Pandapop]

I don't think i can be bothered to sign up to OkCupid.
Lazy much

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by diplodocus

You might get feminist beats for that!
Judging people on looks, I dunno.. despicable!

Originally Posted by Azi

I dunno, I don't see that as a real feminist issue. People very often do judge a potential partner on looks primarily/solely. I s'pose if that's your criteria for a decent partner, so be it. I think it's a little different judging a person's general worth (as opposed to whether you are likely to fancy them) only on their physical appearance.

However, if your only criteria for 'dateableness' was how attractive you deemed them to be, you're narrowing your number of potential matches and so less likely to find someone you really like. I guess it just depends how crucial physical attractiveness is to you personally. Also, I guess you just have to accept that other people will be assessing you in the same way. It's one reason I think the dating scene is horrific - you're constantly being judged and/or judging other people, which is especially hard for an SAer. It's also why I would find internet dating even more nightmareish than 'normal' dating - it's constant scrutiny and if your 'skills' and strengths are better face-to-face, you'll struggle.

/waffle (anything to avoid the dissy, eh? )

I don't mind being judged ofline as much as i do online.

physical attraction i do find important, but i also find personality very important ..and online you can't really see personality that well compared to how you see it ofline.

the thing about online is that you somewhat loose your individuality. I feel like a sheep ..in a womans inbox, with probably about 50 other sheep.

online you don't know if you even truly like them. in real life you go on a date if there is chemistry. online you go on a date to find out if there is chemistry.

heck. online you can't even be sure if you even find them physically attractive. the person might be unphotogenic, or they might be very photogenic, or they may have just put up the most misleading pic they could find taken from a very flattering angle whilst they are in full make-up. I'm still annoyed about last friday....

[Wings]

Originally Posted by Moomin

I'm deleting POF on Sunday and dating philosophy guy after payday. Looking forward to it. ITV guy gave me his number today and agreed to be put in reserve so thinking that's enough for now. There's another eligible bach, but he's 35, not sure I want to go that old.

ooh tell us more, who is this philosophy guy?

35 is ok i think, not that old

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by Moomin

I was really gutted. I almost facepalmed right there and then, but that would have been rude.

I'm deleting POF on Sunday and dating philosophy guy after payday. Looking forward to it. ITV guy gave me his number today and agreed to be put in reserve so thinking that's enough for now. There's another eligible bach, but he's 35, not sure I want to go that old.

35 is ok i think, not that old

seeing as she is 25/26 ..35 is a little old on paper imo, but it doesn't necessarily mean she wont be attracted or they wont be compatible or anything. i would be open to dating someone of 35 if she was still hot. and if she looks young for her age that's definitely appealing

[UkG]

Both profiles have been deleted.

I've had enough, it's the same old thing each time, and to be honest I hate the internet in general, while it's useful to find information, I'm not that keen on communicating with others on it (Ironic as I'm posting on a forum huh).

Reason being the majority of people try and portray themselves as something they aren't just take a look at a youtube video and watch everyone arguing with eachother in the comments, I would bet my life on it that the majority of things people write they wouldn't say in person.

It's the same on dating websites, the amount of people I met that were nothing like they made out behind a keyboard.

And defiance hit the nail on the head, in person if you get on and click in that way you do something about it, online you need to meet to see if you even get on. Let's face it, looks are the main thing we can go on online, and I hate that, as personality is what to me makes someone pretty or ugly, and I'm not trying to be cliche, here's an example a girl that looks good but with a bad attitude, nasty etc will be ugly, an average looking girl that is sweet, makes me laugh, have things in common is attractive to me.

And let's be honest it's really nice when in person you like someone and they like you and you flirt etc.

Online will never replace the old fashioned way, while I know it's not meant to, I now feel it doesn't even come close.

Absolute waste of time for me personally, and that's that.

Lastly I honestly feel that people like us should be trying to get out there and meeting people, as opposed to staying in a "bubble" talking to people behind a screen.

I met up with defiance a couple of days ago, and it was good, I also like that in person you can tell a mile off if someone is interested.

[Wings]

Aww dont give up, why not use online dating with real life methods together

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by UkG

I met up with defiance a couple of days ago, and it was good,

shame we didn't catch up with those girls though ;-(

[Pandapop]

Tbh i think meeting someone off the internet is a great way to meet someone you'd like.

I think you guys don't try to vibe with someone online way before meeting someone, i think you meet up with too many girls for dates without getting to know them, yes i know you'd rather get to know them in person.

Like i know when i start talking to someone online, i normally add them to msn and i can tell if i'll vibe with them or not or if theres a connection, because you spend ages talking to that person for a few days and cant stop texting/calling each other then you meet up.

So i disagree that you can't tell someones personality over the internet. Tis why i don't bother meeting up with so many person for dates lol

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

Tbh i think meeting someone off the internet is a great way to meet someone you'd like.

I think you guys don't try to vibe with someone online way before meeting someone, i think you meet up with too many girls for dates without getting to know them, yes i know you'd rather get to know them in person.

Like i know when i start talking to someone online, i normally add them to msn and i can tell if i'll vibe with them or not or if theres a connection, because you spend ages talking to that person for a few days and cant stop texting/calling each other then you meet up.

So i disagree that you can't tell someones personality over the internet. Tis why i don't bother meeting up with so many person for dates lol

well, you might have tiny weeny bit of a point there :p

as the SAUK'ers who i've got on well with on the forum, i tend to get on well with on meets too.

admittedly, that girl who i met up with on friday i was not vibing well at all with her online. she was very illiterate, it wasn't even slang, ..it was just damn awful schooling..

we did not vibe well in person either, it was the most awkward thing ever..


i dunno though if i'm that convinced about getting on well online means you'll get on well and have chemistry ofline. chemistry is important.

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by Defiance

well, you might have tiny weeny bit of a point there :p

as the SAUK'ers who i've got on well with on the forum, i tend to get on well with on meets too.

admittedly, that girl who i met up with on friday i was not vibing well at all with her online. she was very illiterate, it wasn't even slang, ..it was just damn awful schooling..

we did not vibe well in person either, it was the most awkward thing ever..


i dunno though if i'm that convinced about getting on well online means you'll get on well and have chemistry ofline. chemistry is important.

Oh yeah i know that, i've had my fair share of meeting guys i've got on really well with online but theres just been awkwardness in person.

But like I'm just saying some of you like you just said meet up with girls just cos someone wants to meet up with you for a date, and then you get annoyed when its not a good one.

I'd just rather feel and talk to someone a lot before straight up meeting with them then at least i know theres more chance of getting on.

[Emski]

I met the love of my life in the most random social networking site ever, then got talking on msn for over half a year. And im so glad i have met him, event hough we aint together no more i still do see him, which must mean something, even only though its for a cuddle and sex but ohh well LOL

I just hope i dont end up 50 and trying to find love on the internet...

[Wheelie Bin Bird]

This all makes me so glad I love being single....This all sounds like proper hard work!

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

Oh yeah i know that, i've had my fair share of meeting guys i've got on really well with online but theres just been awkwardness in person.

But like I'm just saying some of you like you just said meet up with girls just cos someone wants to meet up with you for a date, and then you get annoyed when its not a good one.

I'd just rather feel and talk to someone a lot before straight up meeting with them then at least i know theres more chance of getting on.

one of the first girls who messaged me on there, we were getting on fairly well. but i stupidly listened to her when she said she wanted to talk alot first. by 2 weeks i could tell her interest in me had wayned significantly. i pushed her to set a date, so she did, she perked up for about a day or two ...then the interest died down again. i never did get her on a date..

lesson learn't. get girls on dates as quickly as possible or you run the risk of them loosing interest or getting distracted by other guys.

the girl i just met. she messaged me on the tuesday, i had her off her keyboard and on a date by the friday.

and believe me, some even do it quicker. i have read advice saying that if you dont pitch a meet to them within the 3rd/4th email you are a muppet basically.


with that girl who i never ended up meeting, i was firstly miffed that i didn't get a date with her, then secondly miffed because i had wasted 3 weeks on her for nothing.

don't you guys feel miffed when you waste ages talking with someone and it ends up not working out. atleast if you get them on dates quickly you don't waste so much time. no?