The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning - Page 6

Dandelion10 · #**151** 26th May 2016, 12:02

Last night I cried with joy because I finally saw hope beyond my current situation. I've had OCD with swallowing since I was 18 which gives me a constant sore throat to say the least, last year I got IBS which made me dread going to the loo but is fairly common and manageable.

Last week I was diagnosed with irritable bladder which is the constant urge to pee and made me panic about incontinence. All of these things are psychological and I was depressed, it felt like there were more and more limits.

But I've had Reiki healing, acupuncture and been doing pilates along with pelvic floor exercises and meditation which have stopped the irritable bladder completely and controlled the OCD.

There's still a long way to go but I have hope through these holistic treatments that I can have quality of life. Plus I vowed to myself never to do 'that' so I know I won't.

Z. · #**152** 26th May 2016, 12:54

^ Good to hear Dandelion

I talked to the Samaritans last night. It kind of does help.

Dandelion10 · #**153** 26th May 2016, 15:25

Thanks Z. I'm glad you had some support which made you feel better, it's not easy to make that call. I would recommend holistic treatments for their own sake, they are quite expensive so I'm having to see what the NHS or secondary therapy offer but they help on a core level and open us up emotionally to connect better with people. What other choice do we have?

I wish you all the best, I'm inspired by your strength.

Z. · #**154** 26th May 2016, 22:08

^ Thanks Dandelion

Walden · #**155** 3rd June 2016, 15:07

.

Dougella · #**156** 3rd June 2016, 15:28

^ What's scaring you so much?

Walden · #**157** 3rd June 2016, 18:16

On my way to the Dr's now for the first time, to tell them everything. Should have done this years ago.

Indigo_ · #**158** 3rd June 2016, 20:33

^ That's a good first step Walden. I hope it goes well.

Dandelion10 · #**159** 8th June 2016, 23:26

Ring a crisis line because it's not something you really want to do, and how can you not be missed AND be a burden?

This is the lie of SA (pre-occupation with what others think or feel), time and again people with this condition manage it and then overcome, so it's a fact that there are still lots of opportunities for you.

If the help wasn't adequate enough then seek out more, you can't unfairly take what you're owed.

Between The Bars · #**160** 9th June 2016, 03:04

I haven't read through the whole thread, but what if it goes wrong? Not only that, but how would your family and friends feel?

Between The Bars · #**161** 9th June 2016, 03:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Between The Bars

I haven't read through the whole thread, but what if it goes wrong? Not only that, but how would your family and friends feel?

By the way, I have also felt like ending it, posted on this thread, then deleted.

J Stabler · #**162** 11th June 2016, 05:34

Damn haven't felt like this in a long time, really not good feeling like the only thing keeping me on this planet is my sister, brother and mother. Someone smash these thoughts out my head it all feels too right at the moment!

Consolida · #**163** 11th June 2016, 07:05

Sorry to hear you're feeling so poo at the mo

As you've felt like this before you need to keep telling yourself that these awful feelings are only temporary and will eventually subside. The fact that you have a mother, sister and brother who love you and would be absolutely devastated if you weren't around is a very good reason for not acting on what your negative thoughts are telling you. Lots of people here can emphasise, you aren't alone

Hope these lil guys can smash some of those thoughts out of your head

Look after yourself

J Stabler · #**164** 11th June 2016, 12:07

Thank you

I think its just overthinking things aslong as I try and keep myself busy my mind won't wander, your right I don't need any other reason but them. Was just feeling crappy a guess but doing something silly isn't the answer. Definitely smashed the thoughts out my head!

Dandelion10 · #**165** 11th June 2016, 18:31

^ EXCELLENT J Stabler, stay strong.

ABC if the support hasn't worked then you just have to keep trying, it's almost impossible with depression but anything else should be out of the question. We just have to keep trying.

Z. · #**166** 18th June 2016, 23:17

I think at this point I really need to engage more fruitfully with the mental health facilities available in my area. It is the no.1 priority at this point, because my symptoms, whether they be depressive symptoms or psychotic symptoms, are getting worse, and the treatment I am receiving at the moment isn't working. It only has resulted in suicidal ideation and a general bleak outlook which grows more and more severe. Also, I really need to detach myself from this forum. I see very little point in engaging with it anymore.

Indigo_ · #**167** 19th June 2016, 09:02

^

I really hope you get the support you need. I'm always here for you.

Dougella · #**168** 19th June 2016, 09:47

^^ I'm sorry you're feeling like that but seeking more support sounds like a good idea. You'd be missed if you leave here.

Consolida · #**169** 20th June 2016, 12:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z.

I think at this point I really need to engage more fruitfully with the mental health facilities available in my area. It is the no.1 priority at this point, because my symptoms, whether they be depressive symptoms or psychotic symptoms, are getting worse, and the treatment I am receiving at the moment isn't working. It only has resulted in suicidal ideation and a general bleak outlook which grows more and more severe. Also, I really need to detach myself from this forum. I see very little point in engaging with it anymore.

I'm sorry to hear that your symptoms are worsening

Finding some extra offline support away from this forum sounds like a very good idea but I hope you know that you would be greatly missed by a lot of people if you decided to leave.

Take care Z and I hope that things will improve for you soon

Tembo · #**170** 26th June 2016, 23:43

Things are much better with my life now.

But I still just feel more and more like I do not belong in this world. I just feel far too different from everyone else.

Consolida · #**171** 27th June 2016, 05:48

^ Yes I've always felt exactly that way too - that I'm different to other people and that I don't quite fit in on this planet. I can't imagine this feeling will ever go away and am struggling to accept that maybe a muggins shaped box doesn't exist and I'm just incredibly unique.

I'm glad that things are much better with your life, Telex

Tembo · #**172** 30th June 2016, 21:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muggins

^ Yes I've always felt exactly that way too - that I'm different to other people and that I don't quite fit in on this planet. I can't imagine this feeling will ever go away and am struggling to accept that maybe a muggins shaped box doesn't exist and I'm just incredibly unique.

I'm glad that things are much better with your life, Telex

Thanks Muggins

I also worry that feeling will never go away, but hopefully it will over time.

Tembo · #**173** 9th July 2016, 00:41

While my social life is improving quite well, I still have this underlying urge to just end my pointless Existence. I don't think I've contributed anything positive to society, so there is really no benefit to the world that I exist

Ajax Amsterdam · #**174** 9th July 2016, 01:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Telex

While my social life is improving quite well, I still have this underlying urge to just end my pointless Existence. I don't think I've contributed anything positive to society, so there is really no benefit to the world that I exist

I really hope you never act upon that urge, Telex.

It's hard to find the right words really, because when a person feels low, I know words don't really mean much. All that matters is how you feel. I can relate to your post because I felt very similar for many years. I never thought I had anything worthwhile to offer and I thought the world and those who knew me would not miss me and would be better off without me. I'm not suggesting all that changed overnight because it didn't, but it did change in time. Suppose all I'm saying is that even when everything feels pointless now, it may not always be that way.

Before worrying too much about the size of our contribution to society I think we have to first find some purpose and direction ourselves. At least when we move in those valued directions our lives feel more fulfilling and getting out of bed in the morning has some purpose that we care about. I'm sure you have plenty of potential for personal growth and I'm sure you have plenty to offer others too.

I used to feel like some kind of alien dropped off here by mistake and without the tools to survive. Suffocating in an atmosphere I could barely tolerate. I can't say the transition from where I was then to where I am now was an easy one, but it has happened and all the pain was worth it in the end.

As I said earlier, these are just words and I know words don't mean much really, but I just wanted to put them out there anyway.

Take care of yourself. I wish you all the very best.

MrsJones · #**175** 9th July 2016, 17:09

I've had enough.

Ajax Amsterdam · #**176** 9th July 2016, 17:53

Mrs Jones

Clearly a tough day for you, and I hope you feel a bit better about things tomorrow.

Take care of yourself.

Pink*Lady · #**177** 9th July 2016, 20:13

Life is too much at the moment. Started crying and slicing everywhere just now. **** work - going to Dr on Monday and won't leave till I get some proper help. Can't carry on like this.

anxiouslondoner · #**178** 9th July 2016, 20:45

^hope you get some help, take care of yourself.

Pink*Lady · #**179** 10th July 2016, 22:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by anxiouslondoner

^hope you get some help, take care of yourself.

Thanks anxiouslondoner. Today has been hell. I hacked at my hair with scissors and did othr things which I can't post on here.

Hope you are ok.

Consolida · #**180** 10th July 2016, 23:01

^ I hope you haven't hurt yourself too badly Pink*Lady

I hope there is help available for you and things start to look a bit brighter soon.