Why I can't trust doctors anymore. (Rant)

[Derjasager]

So I've been battling through life since my early school years when I began to fear talking to people and expressing myself. By some miracle held down a job for long enough to get a trade. Had lots of ups and downs, mostly downs.

Every time I go to a doctor to ask for help with mental health they give some half arsed guess based off of what they saw on the computer screen when they typed in the symptoms or looked at my history.

I've had GP's tell me to "help people more to feel better" when I walked into his office with fresh self self harm injuries, the kind of injuries where I should be getting them stitched up but know how badly they treat self harmers at clinics.

Why do doctors fob people off with medications that don't work or give terrible side effects without telling you?

When I tell a doctor that I struggle to leave my home and I keep thinking of killing myself they look back at me with a vacant smile and refer me to a "clinic"

I go to the clinic and a guy in a T-shirt and running trainers asks me to fill in a multiple choice questionnaire. Yeah that's right my entire situation can be reduced to an "out of 10 how much do you feel like the world sucks" question.
After the questionnaire they ask the idiotic question if you feel suicidal right now? (well no! If I was I wouldn't be here would I!)
They don't even understand suicidal ideation and yet I'm asking them for help.
They say they can't help with the self harm because they don't have anyone "trained" to help me with that.
After some more BS arse covering questions they send me home with some photocopies of leaflets and a Photocopied workbook. (guess I'm not ill enough to justify colour copies) along with another appointment to check back in two weeks time.

On the next appointment they go through the same arse covering exercise and give me an appointment with a CBT specialist in 6 months time. SIX MONTHS!!! I wanted to rip the guys head off.

The biweekly arse covering appointments continue and the CBT appointment letter arrives four months later.

I go to the appointment and I'm greeted with a nice man who this time at least made an effort to look smart at work. Unfortunately his "CBT" was reading out from photocopies rote style and asking to take home work sheets to fill out.
I return for 5 more appointments and then hit another low, I can't get outside at all and struggle to answer the phone. After two missed appointments they send me a letter saying I have been discharged.

When I first presented to a docotor with anxiety at 14 years old they should have done a lot more than just put me in a school for kids with pregnancies and poor immune systems.


Right now I am at another low, can anyone please give me a good reason to go and ask a doctor (A.K.A quack) for help?

They seem to be the ones professing themselves to be the place to get help with this sort of thing, but so for I have found their "help" rather lacking.

Rant over.

[Mo34]

I'm sorry your having a bad experience. It seems to be the norm a lot sadly. I'm surprised they don't take the self harming more seriously, though it's not something I have any experience of.

I've currently got a useless GP too. I had a great one for 10 years (I doubt I appreciated him as much as I should have).

When my GP left. The CMHT took this as their opportunity to discharge me which he had thus prevented. Leaving me in deep depression, isolated and housebound with no support network and somewhat suicidal.
I finally plucked up the courage to access other resources. I couldn't believe how differently I was treated tbh. Like I actually mattered. They did encourage me to go and see a GP. I have since seen 3 doctors so far. All of them fairly pointless.
My so called 'listed' GP being the worst. Only interested in fobbing me off with beta blockers and diazpam which I refused. And was very much like 'oh well never mind' 'see ya' In a sing songy voice. Since then all communication has been by letter/notes. Yes this is the ridiculous level we have stooped too (If I wasn't so p***ed off I'd find it comedic).
I suppose I'll be requesting to change doctors.

I've found MIND really useful (though it does seem to be a bit hit and miss in some places) but they sometimes can help support ppl wanting to access mental health services and with getting the best out of your GP (or trying too). They also helped me with DLA so I could financially access proper counselling.

I would say persevere if you can.

[firemonkey]

I am under secondary mental health services but on the few occasions I have mentioned mental health concerns my GP has been useless- a hurried I'll note this and tell your psychiatric team.
Funnily enough when it comes to mentioning physical concerns it's then " It's probably something to do with the fact you are mentally ill"
Have only been to the GP once in the last 10 years. That was at the insistence of the rehab and recovery team who came along with me. Considering they had not seen me for ages the Gp wasn't that bothered. Was asked very little before having a blood test form thrust at me.

[Derjasager]

Maybe it's my attitude. I fix machines for a living, I don't expect the client to know how to fix it.
In fact I often prefer it if they don't share their thoughts on how to fix the machine as I often end up doing something they never thought of and finding/diagnosing faults they didn't even know existed. I would be embarrassed if I had to ask my clients how to fix their machines.

Is that not what doctors are for? I present the symptoms and they tell me whats wrong and how to fix it? Otherwise it could all be done with a phone call or a post on a message board.

I have no idea whats wrong with me, all I know is that I'm afraid to leave my home to go out into the big bad world. My mind comes up with endless and ever more convincing reasons to just stay put. When any kind of conflict happens, the world stands still and I clam up until the event is over, only when I'm on my own can I express the anger/fear whatever. When I am away from people for any length of time I become extremely lonely crying myself to sleep. Yet if I spend any length of time with people I become overwhelmed with the pressure to interact and be useful/entertaining et cetera so I give up and do/say very little. When I think of the future I panic and try to come up with long term solutions to my short term problems. I don't self harm anymore when it gets too much but the temptation is always there.
I am a useless broken person but I only know how to fix machines.

Maybe my attitude as a mechanic has merged into my attitude towards my own problems but I don't know how else to approach the problem.

Sorry lots of "my's" and "I's" making myself look self centered.

Thanks for your replies everyone it's helping me to come up with a new strategy as the one I currently have, clearly does not work.

[The Jerk]

................. as you are working , could you afford to go private? Might be something to look into..........are there any anxiety groups near you?

[Derjasager]

Originally Posted by The Jerk

................. as you are working , could you afford to go private? Might be something to look into..........are there any anxiety groups near you?

Unfortunately I am not working, I am trapped in my home watching my savings disappear. If I get outside it's because I plucked up the courage to get to the supermarket at the wee hours and stock up on food. Sometimes my parents will stop by with a care package. Sometimes I end up on a diet of crackers and whatever is left in the cupboards.

[The Jerk]

............. as you are not working, have you signed on to get the benefits you are entitled to? search to see if there any anxiety groups near you also

[Derjasager]

Originally Posted by The Jerk

............. as you are not working, have you signed on to get the benefits you are entitled to? search to see if there any anxiety groups near you also

Thanks for the advise, I'm pretty sure that I'm not entitled to any benefits from anyone. I don't know what you mean by anxiety groups?

[The Jerk]

....................Benefits https://www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/entitlement

...................Social Anxiety groups http://www.social-anxiety-community....splay.php?f=19
..................search on meetup also http://www.meetup.com/

[Aelwyn]

Hi, I don't know if they'll be any help but I did a quick search and found the following online help for self-harm:

http://www.nshn.co.uk/
and
http://www.harmless.org.uk/ourResources/support

I wonder if one to one person centred counselling might help you, but I know that usually costs around £30-£40 an hour. However there are some counselling charities that charge less, it would be worth doing a search for your area. In any case keep posting here as there are definitely other SAUK members who have self-harmed and will relate to how you are feeling.