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#1
23rd February 2013, 19:12
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regret moving out alone
I moved into a flat on my own previously i lived with parents ive wanted this for ages as it get annoying having to explain everything to parents.
But i been here 4 days and realized i made a mistake i cant even talk to anyone, dont have any friends not close to my siblings I spend all the time on my own watching telly i dont no how to get out of it. im stuck here for 6 months and not sleeping well always worrying. I ve realized no one actually gives a shit if i was here or not. feeling like no way out and i dont know what to do Does anyone else live alone and have SA and nobody to talk to? how do u cope day to day 
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#2
23rd February 2013, 19:16
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Re: regret moving out alone
It takes bottle to make the move from the family home, so kudos for that. I find it takes a week or two to feel settled in a new place, so you may well feel better about it in a while. Can you pop back to visit the folks at weekends?
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#3
23rd February 2013, 19:30
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Re: regret moving out alone
thanks i dont mind being on my own its just that i have no one to talk to at least before i could tell my mum n dad things what happened. I know people move out alot younger than me but this damn SA destroying my life. I go back sometimes but i need a reason dont wanna just turn up for no reason. also i still live in same town so only 10mins away
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#4
23rd February 2013, 19:38
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Re: regret moving out alone
I tend to take walks around town and spread out shopping into smaller chunks to get me out of the room I live in more often (as sad as that sounds lol).
With me the prospect of uni is my solution, but trying to get a job, or volunteer charity work would at least put you in an environment with other people, even if not in the ideal sociological context. Also I suppose you could attend any nearby meet ups near you from this site, or if their's a particular form of activism going seeing if you could get involved or otherwise help might help with that. I second the notion as in the post above, if you are comfortable with your family make sure you stay in regular contact with them. As always SA makes isolation a real problem, coping day to day should get better if you can effectively tackle it.
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#5
23rd February 2013, 19:49
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Re: regret moving out alone
^ thanks i do work during the week but i dont have any friends there and i hate it, i cant spend much money as i have to pay my rent so cant travel to meetups or go out shopping much. Its just the weekend seems to drag when u dont have anyone to spend it with. its only been few days mabey i will get used to being on my own and start doing things for my self more
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#6
23rd February 2013, 23:11
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Re: regret moving out alone
i think it's a really positive move to find your own flat. I'm currently living with my parents and i'm 33! i intend to find a flat once i can afford it (i dont work at the moment).
I understand what you mean about finding it hard over the weekend. When i used to live and work away from home i would find the weekends difficult too. I would try to convince myself that i could keep me head down at work and live for the weekends, but when the weekends came i'd be depressed and unhappy. Are you seeing a therapist? Make sure you can keep in touch with people who can help you (including your parents), so you cn sustain your independence because it is positive progress.
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#7
24th February 2013, 01:27
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Re: regret moving out alone
When I moved out of my parents house into my first flat it didn't go well.
It was my worst point for SA, I couldn't even open the door to anyone, take my bins out or go out to buy food. I would say just watch out for signs that you are not getting worse like I did. It can be a positive thing to do and give you great independance and confidence. I don't know where you are, but is there maybe anyone in the cafe therapy thread nearby who you could meet up with closer to you at the weekend?
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#8
24th February 2013, 01:31
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Re: regret moving out alone
Maybe you should hang out at your parents house more often. I don't think they will mind at all because they are your parents and you lived with them a long time. They will definitely miss having you around the house as well. The reason can be that you miss having the company or something? because thats the truth
 Eventually you may not feel the need to visit your parents house as often because you get used to your new place? I live with my parents and I am 28. I am in no rush to move out yet but I know I can't stop here forever so its in the back of my mind a lot. I have the money to move our tomorrow if I wanted to but for now I will keep the 'status quo' plus I think I will react badly to being in a new house on my own like you are. I hope I take my own advice when the time comes that I move out You have left your main comfort zone! and that's a big shock to the system but we all know these things take time to go away. Moving house is a big deal no matter who is doing it.
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#9
24th February 2013, 11:06
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Re: regret moving out alone
It sounds like this could be a good thing, if you're lonely you could always go and visit your parents.
Maybe you could also attend some meets you may make some new friends and will be grateful you moved out :-) Hope this works out for you
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#10
24th February 2013, 11:43
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Re: regret moving out alone
Well done for moving - that's a big step...now you only need to make a few smaller steps to improve things. Maybe find a local online mate who might turn into a friend? Genuine friends won't mind doing stuff with you that doesn't cost much money.
I don't know how other people feel about trying to find friends online initially? Is it fraught with danger? What are the most sensible precautions to take? Sorry! - going off-topic... Good luck k-ann.
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#11
24th February 2013, 12:00
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Re: regret moving out alone
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#12
24th February 2013, 12:03
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Re: regret moving out alone
Im okay at doing things by myself like going the shops and taking bins out etc, its just talking to people and making friends i struggle with at my work i been there 5 months yet im still as quiet as i was on the first day.
I am 27 btw and i felt to old to be at parents house Ive tried making friends online but no one really in my area. My mum said she would visit me she hasnt and doubt she will make the effort to either. Think im gonna join a gym nearer to my flat so i can go in the evenings
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#14
24th February 2013, 18:40
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Re: regret moving out alone
It is a shock to the system when you first move out, but it does get much easier if you give yourself time. Why not try just getting out of your flat at weekend, even if its just for a walkabout? You're going through a period of adjustment so it might be worth getting a bit more structure into your weekends so you're not just sitting about worrying.
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#15
24th February 2013, 22:02
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Re: regret moving out alone
I'm considering moving out my parents - well feel more pressured by age and the inconvenience of living with parents.
I'm worried about coping alone as i didnt do it so well during uni days where i had ready made friends in terms of house mates yet still managed to spend most of the time by myself. However it seems inevitable but hoping the change of scenery will boost my motivation to do something about my life.
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#16
24th February 2013, 23:23
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Re: Re: regret moving out alone
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