SAUK Discussion Board

Go Back   SAUK Discussion Board > SAUK Community > Club 30-81
Join! Blogs FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Reply  Post New Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10th December 2019, 21:36
Midlife Bookworm Midlife Bookworm is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 46
Default viral video about being middle aged and no friends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vWT-nun5FQ


this got quite a few views and a daily mail article with 2k comments was the result.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...O-FRIENDS.html

I was slightly suspicious that being the head of a recruitment place the guy was hoping to generate publicity that would help his business somehow, but there's enough of a taboo against loneliness that on balance I think he was genuinely reaching out.

Those who are 40+, what do we think about this? Is is something which can be resolved by initiatives such as "Men's Sheds" (no good for me, I have zero DIY skills) or do people naturally get wary of new people as they get older after getting burned a few times? Is it possible to live a happy life as a recluse, despite societal messages, or are people in this position always going to be hungry for at least some human connection?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12th December 2019, 20:31
john smith john smith is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 414

Mood
Balanced

Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

Yeah seems a bit to scripted for me to think its genuine and he doesn't give any details of the actual meet, what type of meet is it, how many people attended, etc.

Good doc on loneliness both young and old on the BBC a few years ago that I think was called Age of Loneliness
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12th December 2019, 22:27
Midlife Bookworm Midlife Bookworm is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 46
Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

Thanks for replying John my loneliness thread had been looking a bit lonely I do think this is an "age of loneliness" not just for SA people but for many.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 29th December 2019, 18:14
Beep Beep is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Newton Le Willows, North West
Posts: 574
Blog Entries: 1

Mood
Spooky

Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

I have no male friends, but I've trust issues after a few I have had have made passes at me when drunk.

Honestly it's a shame I'm not gay because I seem to be a magnet. I was tempted to pretend and make money webcamming but that is a whole different topic.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 31st December 2019, 00:54
Midlife Bookworm Midlife Bookworm is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 46
Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

I think I prefer mixed company above all - all-female and people might get the idea I was romantically interested in one of them, all-male and it might descend into "blokey banter" which I would hate. A couple of times the local wellbeing centre has tried to see if there's any interest in a men's group but I have no clue what I'd talk about in such a social situation.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 31st December 2019, 02:36
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: near Bolsover, Derbyshire
Posts: 1,033
Blog Entries: 14
Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

I notice that he posted the first YouTube video on 16th November then his follow-up (I had no friends but I do now) was only 11 days later, three days before the Mail On Sunday article he wrote was published in which he once again claimed to have no friends!

Anyway, it was interesting that he attended a meetup and had a great night, loved the people there but the friend with whom he connected was someone he knew through work, not through meetup. That's been my experience of meetup - getting to know people to some extent, enjoying their company but never quite making a connection which takes it from acquaintance to friendship.

In answering the questions from the OP, I'm not a fan of the Men's Shed or other all-male type social arenas, mixed company suits me better; I could be a recluse, I do like to spend time alone, but I do desire human connection. I can't speak for others, but if anything I have become less wary of others as I get older, perhaps because I think that time is running out?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 31st December 2019, 09:13
Jen. Jen. is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 1,547
Blog Entries: 3
Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

Quote:
Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert
I notice that he posted the first YouTube video on 16th November then his follow-up (I had no friends but I do now) was only 11 days later, three days before the Mail On Sunday article he wrote was published in which he once again claimed to have no friends!
It's likely he would have been asked to write the article the same day the video became popular and given a deadline a week to several days before it was published.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 31st December 2019, 09:43
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: near Bolsover, Derbyshire
Posts: 1,033
Blog Entries: 14
Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

^ I did realise that (in fact, in the article he does mention that he is going for a pie and a pint with someone), I just thought the chronology was amusing.

It does, however, raise the question of when an acquaintance becomes a friend? I don't think I would consider someone a friend after one pie and a pint (I mean, I don't know if one pint and/or one pie were consumed, but one session of drink and food). By that definition, even I have had many friends over the years, albeit on a very temporary basis.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 1st January 2020, 12:19
Midlife Bookworm Midlife Bookworm is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 46
Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

Quote:
Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert
That's been my experience of meetup - getting to know people to some extent, enjoying their company but never quite making a connection which takes it from acquaintance to friendship.
That has been more or less my experience too. Perhaps I have been a bit guarded and closed-off at meets which has made it hard to get to know me. I had better luck becoming a regular at an exercise class at the local wellbeing centre, where they offer free tea and coffee after and a few people do linger afterwards and are amenable to chat. However I totally respect that there are plenty of people with busy lives who aren't necessarily in the market for close friendships and they just want to drop in and out of attending meets when they have a space in their schedule.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 1st January 2020, 14:04
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: near Bolsover, Derbyshire
Posts: 1,033
Blog Entries: 14
Default Re: viral video about being middle aged and no friends

^ it does happen at meetups, I saw many firm friendships forged during my time and even came close myself a couple of times, but each time I thought I was getting close to someone (as a friend) something would intervene.

Sent from my SM-J330FN using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:56.


SAUK Award
Logo designed by abc
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.