Do you get the feeling other people feel awkward around you?

[Jam]

It takes nothing for me to feel awkward around other people, but I think, and always have done, that some people feel awkward around me too, especially at work. I put it down to me always putting up such an obvious brick wall around myself, being crap at conversation, and just being generally weird and unorthodox in my approach to social situations.

[Mr. Nobody]

most people seem to recognise it's simply a mirror-effect,
I find that interesting, that people simply reflect how you behave and act similarly
like, does that mean we can basically control whole crowds of people to behave how we want?

*starts hatching dastardly plan*.. meh-heh-heh

[gregarious_introvert]

I used to get this with every social interaction, but in later life I discovered that it was the Asperger's which was causing the issue; the first clue came just over a decade ago now, when I was a member of an internet site which had meetups (I'd not heard of meetup back then) and after I'd attended four or five social events, I was told that I wasn't welcome at any more because I made everyone else feel unnerved with my weirdness. In addition to the hostile non-verbal communication, I had a tendency to give one word answers and difficulty in asking questions, which would have made the conversation very one-sided and probably gave the impression that I didn't want to talk or wasn't interested in the other participants.

I withdrew from society completely after that and when I did re-emerge, two-and-a-half years ago, I'd had a great deal of help from my partner, who told me when my body language, facial expressions or voice tone appeared aggressive or hostile. Since then, the instances of awkwardness have decreased over time and are now probably within the parameters of normal experience; I still encounter some people with whom it's hard to converse, just as I once was - although now I am better equipped to take the awkwardness out of the situation.

[gregarious_introvert]

^I am open about my Asperger's and my anxiety issues (they are both mentioned on my meetup profile), although if I do get stressed (it's very rare these days) and my voice and non-verbal communication change, not everybody understands.

I am not something I'm not; my personality has not changed, it's simply the body language which accompanies it - something which shouldn't have been that way in the first instance. Most of us, as we are growing up, learn and adapt our verbal and non-verbal communication through social intercourse, but if one is isolated by social rejection, then there is no opportunity to develop in that way. All I have done, since the age of 51, is to develop as I should have done at the age of 3, 4 or whatever. I'm not acting, I've just taken control of part of my body of which I wasn't in control previously.

[A Whimsical Stranger]

Yes, all the time. I'm an expert at creating awkwardness. Lately I've kind of embraced and do it on purpose.

[hellotiger]

Yes. But I also feel awkward around awkward people, like they make me more awkward. Maybe I also make them more awkward.

[Oddity]

Of course, especially women due to my creepiness I'm mostly beyond caring at this point.

[Rianne]

I feel this ALL the time. I get the impression that people can***8217;t wait to get rid of me and they seem to treat me one of two ways. The usual way is to be quite short with me but the other way, which is worse, is to treat me like I***8217;m about five so they can feel that they have got rid of me ***8216;nicely***8217;. I also relate to what Hermann has said above. I think my body language is similar. Whenever anything goes wrong anywhere I automatically feel responsible even if I was miles away when the upset occurred!!

[Kipper]

Yes most decidedly so. Always put it down to the physical symptoms of anxiety that the SA continually generates to a greater or lesser extent on a daily basis. People find it difficult to know how to react when they see the visible signs of that anxiety in my face. Which of course then makes me more aware of the feelings that I am being judged negatively by other people.