Looking through old message threads on Facebook...

[Captain Nemo]

... from around the time I had the semblance of a social life for a while, around 8 years ago. College people, Uni people, work people from my previous job (where there were more people my own age) - and it struck me how I let all of these people down through my own social ineptitude & selfishness.

Ignoring invites, shutting life itself out. My so-called friends. Too cowardly to seek help (have recently taken steps). I don't think the shame will ever leave me.

Of course there were times when I was happy enough in my lonely life, but really there were deficiencies I could not overcome. I really have not improved at all since that time.

The bad thing is that even if I had the time again, I would probably make all of the same mistakes.

I wish I were better at being a human being.

These are my feelings tonight, if you asked me tomorrow I may feel differently about this.

[Between The Bars]

Get rid of face (fuukin) book, it's a fuukin anxiety you can do without.

That's only ma opinion though.

[neil324]

I agree. Get rid, the best thing I ever did.

[Between The Bars]

Originally Posted by neil324

I agree. Get rid, the best thing I ever did.

Somebody agrees wi me, it's no often that happens.

[Hayman]

Hi @Captain Nemo. Firstly, don't put yourself down and blaming yourself. This is pretty much what regular people, including medical professionals, like to brainwash sufferers with. Whilst some of it is true – the inaction over certain social events for instance, you have to remember that sometimes our fears are very much justified by the way we're singled out or treated differently when we do pluck up the courage make the effort… Obviously, I can't speak for everyone but this is what's happened to me. Social Anxiety is not something we should be beating ourselves up about. It's a condition and I've personally long since been fed up with others brainwashing me to demonise myself. I don't personally see how this can suddenly make me gain the all-important confidence and motivation in myself.

Also, I can only echo the views of others in the respect of getting rid of Facebook. Whilst I do have an account myself, it’s actually my second account. The first one I closed down towards the end of 2014 and I went 18 months without an account. I only have one now because at the moment I'm back in touch with an old friend of mine from years ago… If it wasn't for him, I'd probably still not have an account today. Once we're out of touch with one another again (which will happen – I guarantee it), the account will be removed.

For people like ourselves, I find Facebook to be literally the spawn of the devil. All it does is fill you with depression to see how interesting and fulfilled other people's lives are…and now progressions just 'materialise' for them. Not only that, there the usual myriad of likes and comments on each and every one of their status updates. Meanwhile, anything you put up is completely ignored 99% of the time… Believe me – I've been there and know how utterly depressing this is and how despondent it makes you feel. Some people in the past have accused me of 'attention seeking'. My reply, as always, is "if only I knew what positive attention felt like in order to seek it in the first place…". Usually, the accusers are most guilty of what they're accusing.

Personally speaking, I wish Facebook was subscription based. Something like £10 a month (or a scale where the more 'friends' you have - the more you pay). This money could go to charities such as the Samaritans e.t.c to help those who are left behind in life – so those who are far ahead and do actually seek the attention (and succeed) are genuinely helping those who they choose to always ignore, insult or stigmatise.