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  #1  
Old 12th June 2019, 01:16
scarletlunar scarletlunar is offline
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Default First job

I was hired for my first job last week.

This was bittersweet as it took such a weight off my shoulders as I thought less of myself for not having worked, and being 21.
There were two positions- Kitchen porter which would be working in the back by myself and cleaning, which sounded perfect, and a Drinks maker, out in the front, with the rest of the staff with loud music playing, and the customers able to watch you- and worst of all, running the drinks to the customers.

I had a burst of confidence when I went for the Drinks job, and to my amazement/horror I got it. Had my first shift today and it was honestly dreadful, within 20 minutes I had already almost dropped a milkshake over a customer because I almost slipped and my hands were shaking so bad. Not to mention the rest of the staff didn't bother speaking to me even though I tried to talk to them, as the restaurant was pretty dead.

I have to go back in tomorrow, and I'm so anxious, I can't sleep and feel very sick. I already want to call it quits but I know how humiliated I was before, how good this is for me, and also the real world is tough, and I have to get on with it.

I'm stuck between a wall and a hard place, and totally at a loss on what to do.

Does anyone have any tips for just powering through? Or times you've been through something similar and come out the other end positive?

Thanks for reading.
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  #2  
Old 12th June 2019, 02:57
OrdinaryJoe OrdinaryJoe is offline
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Default Re: First job

That’s great scarletlunar!

It’s completely normal to be nervous when you are just starting. Nobody will think anything of it. By all means, try to be polite, courteous and friendly with your work colleagues but you don’t need them to be your friends. You needn’t worry about being part of any cliques. You get cliques that can seem impenetrable in most walks of life. Sometimes, I can get a bit perturbed by how well work colleagues of mine get on with one another and feel a bit isolated but that is life, I guess. I try to know myself; my strengths and my limitations. I am never going to be the life and soul of the party and am more than comfortable with that.

Getting your first job is a massive achievement. It is a big step to being more independent and confident which will do your anxiety the world of good in the long run even if you encounter a few uncomfortably anxious moments. Know that it is in your head and how you perceive things. Spilling a milkshake over a customer could be an amusing anecdote for one person and absolutely mortifying for somebody else. If a waitress spilled a milkshake over me, I think I would be more concerned that she didn’t feel bad about it whereas I have seen other people have something spilled on them and go ballistic (I normally think very negatively of these sorts of people). Who cares?! People will be how they will be
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  #3  
Old 12th June 2019, 11:33
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
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Default Re: First job

I agree with OrdinaryJoe it's great that you got a job, well done, and as he says it's only natural for you to feel nervous on your first day of work. And it often takes a while for colleagues to be sociable with you, it's just easier for them to talk to people they know well, and not necessarily personal.

I wonder if visualisation might be something you could try. One that has worked for me in the past is closing your eyes and visualising the work situation, but with everything including yourself swaying as if you were underwater. The customers, the walls, the tables, the drinks, everything gently swaying. I think that the more you do it, the stronger the effect can be.
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  #4  
Old 12th June 2019, 14:49
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: First job

^ Think I'd feel seasick

But I do think it's worth trying to visualize the bigger picture. For example, visualize yourself in 6 months looking back on these first few days with a couple of blips, but all settling down after say 7-10 days.

Could be the making of you! Good luck, let us know how day 2 goes
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  #5  
Old 12th June 2019, 15:34
Selkie Selkie is offline
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Default Re: First job

Congratulations on getting the job!
Another thing you could try to calm your nerves a bit in those first few days is different forms of physical relaxation that might take the edge off. E.g. progressive muscle relaxation or breathing exercises (e.g. on Youtube) that you can do in the evening or in the morning before you go in. Or do physical exercise. Whatever helps.
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  #6  
Old 12th June 2019, 20:21
Laurel Laurel is offline
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Default Re: First job

People start talking the longer you are there, you kind of become a part of the furniture
and also people assume you'll quit in your first week or so.
.
You got an impressive attitude on you in that you have some mental toughness, but you maybe also got to keep in the back of your head how realistic this job challenge is for you.
At 21 it could be case of simply nerves that will pass, or its something that's going to stick and you keep your eye out for something else.
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  #7  
Old 12th June 2019, 20:37
Blue Salamander Blue Salamander is offline
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Default Re: First job

I'm glad for your post about your first job, I thought I was having trouble trying to find my first job and I'm 18.

How'd you start?
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  #8  
Old 13th June 2019, 01:39
scarlettgirl scarlettgirl is offline
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Default Re: First job

Congrats on your job! You should be very proud!
It's totally normal to feel this way right now. The first few days and weeks will feel shaky i believe, no matter who you are. but as you become familiar with things and settle into a routine, your confidence will grow. I think its all about getting used to the place. Try not to pay much mind to how your workmates might feel about you right now. Concentrate on the work. It's true a lot of workers often don't think a new person will stay, so sometimes they might be reluctant to get to know you. don't take things personally. Try to stick it out and take each day at a time
Some days might feel shit but that comes with most jobs i think. Try to give this job a fair chance, otherwise you're back to square one starting another new job and feeling these nerves all over again.
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  #9  
Old 13th June 2019, 12:34
scarletlunar scarletlunar is offline
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Default Re: First job

Thank you everyone for your lovely replies! They definitely helped to read before I went in, and a few youtube videos about breathing were great.

I almost didn't turn up for it but I'm so glad I did, it went a lot smoother today, and I managed to run the whole station and close up by myself, which gives me so much more confidence for my next shift. I even managed to stop in the shop on my way home, which I haven't done for months, and I don't feel quite so low about myself.

It's scary how easy it is to forget to tell yourself to just stop for a second, and just don't panic, and how much easier it is afterwards.

One of my workmates said it was terrible, and that I should have had at least 1 week of training before I was left by myself, so that made me feel better if I made any mistakes.

Thank you again for everyone's tips and kind words, I cannot thank you enough!
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  #10  
Old 13th June 2019, 15:21
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: First job

^^ Check you..!! Well done
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  #11  
Old 13th June 2019, 16:29
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
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Default Re: First job

Well done, glad to hear it went so much better!
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  #12  
Old 13th June 2019, 17:51
lecha lecha is offline
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Default Re: First job

Hi ScarletLunar,
I remember feeling inadequate that I finished Uni half a year after my colleagues. Am now 39 and wow that half year seems so minor now. It matters more that you go in the right direction.
Wow, you are already working at 21 and will be able to be independent, congrats!
Also, with any new job, even being experienced at it, everything is new, you don't know the work processes, why some things are the way they are (like things related to people's history there), it's normal to be out of phase. This period lasts upto 3 months in an office job in my experience, might be less in a smaller team. Just keep it up, glad that you are doing better!
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  #13  
Old 18th June 2019, 12:32
Blue Salamander Blue Salamander is offline
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Default Re: First job

I finally got my first interview it's for tomorrow so I'm nervous. Took around 20 tries but this time I applied with full availability lol
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