Being honest do you know what job environment fits you

[Amara 94]

I’m thinking of this as I’m starting a new job it seems, still have to do the paperwork before actually starting.

It’s the same type of job as usual, kitchen portering, but a much different environment judging from my trail.

It made me think that my current job, it’s only part time because I did it whilst studying. But I also think that maybe secretly one of the managers doesn’t want me there full time or more hours. My current workplace, I think I like it for its orderliness and the kitchen is cleaner than most other kitchens because the head chef is particular. However I also feel, for me, it’s not an ideal fit because it’s a cafe where it seems like to work everyone needs to fit in and share the same or similar values. The place works but I don’t fit in. It’s a small cafe started in 2020, everyone accept for me and one student works 5 days a week having the same two days off. Holiday time is also throughout August, December and one week in Easter. Whilst that is fine the job isn’t flexible in regards to just wanting to do your own thing. It reminds me a bit of Michaela community school in that way. Maybe this is a thing with small businesses though. I feel I haven’t felt comfortable in small companies because it feels like I had to sacrifice my life for the boss more.

I think the fact that I began the job whilst doing keto but it’s a cafe that mostly does bakery so I was judged when I turned down bakery leftovers, called a fussy eater and so on.

The new job, from the trail it was simple. But then it’s a big place with lots of staff, some agency workers. I feel the feeling of exclusion might be more intense in this environment just because it seems more noticeable. However I also find that in big companies it seems more acceptable to show that you don’t care about your job, saw it at the trail shift. Not that I don’t care about my job though. But in that sense it’s like there is a bit more freedom to do what you want without feeling as much shame. And I think because it’s an institution, maybe due to its size, I got the sense that there is probably more office politics, but also more tolerance for difference.


I don’t know which environment suits me most. I think it’s one where I’m allowed some autonomy. I’m shown what to do but not micromanaged. I imagine one where maybe I work alone. I don’t always like teamwork. I don’t think I dislike teamwork but usually it seems when at a job that requires teamwork, it isn’t always good teamwork. I don’t mind small workplaces. In fact I think I prefer them but then I think it has to be an environment where I feel I belong or fit in which is hard to find especially because I think I don’t have the mindset of work being life which I imagine a small workplace would need more than a big institutional place where you are just a number in the machine.

[biscuits]

I prefer working in a team based environment. I’ve never worked from home or alone because I know that would make me feel isolated and miserable.

[Amara 94]

My sister works from home. Part of me feels like it’s isolating however I think I like the freedom that seems to come with it. I think for some people it can be an extra level of independence as they might do their work from cafes and stuff.

As I don’t always feel I fit in teams they can actually sometimes feel isolating despite being a team.

[biscuits]

^ a lot of people really do thrive and get on well with working from home and it's ideal for their circumstances and the work they do. It doesn't have to be isolating as it can involve online meetings (gahhh!) and phone calls and things like that. Plus some people just work better on their own and prefer it.

Just to clarify, the feeling of isolation and misery is specific to me and the type of person I am. I'm not saying that is how work from home folk feel. It's how I would feel because I prefer collaboration in person.

Sometimes you have to find the right environment and job where you feel comfortable and safe in that team.

There's also blended working where you can work from home some days and go into the work place on others.

Do you know what sort of job you'd like to do?

[Amara 94]

I don't think I know exactly what job I would like to do. I think I like a job that I feel good at. Maybe I fear finding what job I really want because it might seem underwhelming if I thought about it. I feel I have more idea on the type of environment though.

I just went to my current job, it's only one day a week but I'm leaving for a full time job. The job is a small cafe that only has 10 staff at most on a busy Saturday, and that is one extra staff, but on the other 4 days there is just 6 staff, the same staff as well. I noticed the new kitchen porter seems to be bonding with the team despite not knowing too much English. Tbh I have seen this happen at other jobs, which shows non-verbal is involved for a lot of communication. I think I was good at my job but I didn't really bond with the team.

I think this is why I am looking a bit forward to working in a bigger company, although I know that the politics might be worse. I just think that their would be a bit less pressure to fit in or more tolerance because it's a place with lots of staff. At the cafe as well the head chef was speaking with the other chef, there are only two chefs, to prepare some stuff as he would be baking for the company on his off day. I think to fit in this small company it's like I have to be really passionate about what they are doing but I am not.

[biscuits]

^ yeah, that's true - in the smaller business they're trying to stay afloat so they have to put in more hours because they are understaffed.

It's good that you try all different places and have the confidence to leave when you don't feel like it's the right place.

Hope your full time job is welcoming and goes well for you