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  #24811  
Old 15th April 2020, 21:03
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Can't believe I got sunburnt today. Only a complete idiot gets sunburn as an adult. Guess you learn something new about yourself each day in lockdown ha. I also badly burnt three of my fingers by touching a metal dish that is just taken out of the oven. Dunno where my head is!
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  #24812  
Old 15th April 2020, 21:09
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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  #24813  
Old 16th April 2020, 00:17
Spectrelight Spectrelight is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Whether to trim my beard or let it grow wild until the end of lockdown
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  #24814  
Old 16th April 2020, 00:30
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Go crazy and shave just one side.
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  #24815  
Old 16th April 2020, 08:06
Toxic Toxic is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
Can't believe I got sunburnt today. Only a complete idiot gets sunburn as an adult. Guess you learn something new about yourself each day in lockdown ha. I also badly burnt three of my fingers by touching a metal dish that is just taken out of the oven. Dunno where my head is!
As a 25 year old male who barely left the house I managed to acquire heatstroke at my old job (we did some event in a park)

I had a nurse coming out to me and everything I was a bit of a state, now that was embarrassing and totally my own stupid fault, sunburn doesnt rank that far up on the idiot list
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  #24816  
Old 16th April 2020, 16:07
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Oh no! Heatstroke is horrible! Guess you were sort of made to be outside as it was work! I'm usually sun hat, sunglasses, water, slap on that sun cream, stay in the shade.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Stop stealing my life, Saul!
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  #24817  
Old 17th April 2020, 21:07
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Right, let's go do a shop, get some booze in ready for tomoz. Really can't be bothered though.
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  #24818  
Old 18th April 2020, 22:19
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Whether to do the dishes ... whilst drinking.

Should i just do away with myself now?
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  #24819  
Old 19th April 2020, 03:00
imperfect_perfectionist imperfect_perfectionist is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Changing therapists. The main problem though is that it’s definitely gonna be more expensive as my therapist gives me a discount. I would probably have to do therapy once every two weeks or a month. I don’t have much faith in the NHS when it comes to therapy.

I might need CBT however I really don’t think my therapy should just be focused on communication and social situations. I feel more of my problems are with attachment, that’s what needs the most treatment. In fact even more than my suspected autism.

The problem with my current therapy is that I feel I get on better with my therapist than therapists I have had. He initially said that he specialises in autism. However he has told me about meditation which is useful and a few other important psychological stuff. But most sessions are just conversations and nothing happens. If I mention issues I have with family it is never looked into. His view is about getting things better but not focused so much on attachments or why I may feel a certain way about something, but rather about trying to get me to think differently about certain situations like CBT.

However I think my main problem is attachment problems. I recently was WhatsApping my cousin. With her it’s like one minute she wants to speak the next minute she is either irritated with me or just doesn’t want to speak. We only met online last year. I feel so attached to her cause I fell in a way we are so similar. Initially her latest behaviour of seeming disinterested made me angry though I never expressed it. However, come to think of it, she is my cousin. I haven’t been around family much but I’m sure cousin or sibling love isn’t all perfect or positive. I feel though I’m attached to her, I need to take a step back. I shouldn’t have the expectation that she likes me as much as I like her. I should like myself enough to not feel the need to be liked. Basically I need to feel comfortable with myself.

I’m also admittedly ultra anxious around certain people. Black women the most, I think it’s probably linked to some trauma and also attachment issues.

Previous to this therapist I had a therapist who I didn’t like much, cause she constantly told me to breathe deeply and that I came across like I was checking out people to see what they have done. This is probably true but it definitely didn’t help with my confidence and made it harder for me to open up to her I think. I also felt like I couldn’t say certain stuff being my problem as I felt she may judge me for it. However I’m thinking of giving her another try. I think I may be able to talk of attachment issues. Idk though. Maybe this is also an irrational thought but as this previous therapist was a women I think I got the intention that she expected me to be a certain way as a man so that certainly a barrier. May even need to tell her about that.
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  #24820  
Old 19th April 2020, 06:13
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ You mention attachment issues, do you mean you get attached to people quickly and feel upset if then don't reply, or communicate with you as much as you feel they should.

With your cousin, you haven't been in contact for long, it wouldn't appear that you have been very close in the past, so it's understandable that she doesn't always reply to your messages, also she may be busy or has forgotten to reply, I doubt that it's anything personal to you, or you have done anything wrong.

Also what does your therapist mean by not checking people out to see what they have done?

Maybe you could ask to see a therapist on the NHS, I don't see any harm in this and you may benefit from this and it won't cost anything. I think you can self refer yourself and they will call you to discuss your issues and let you know if further support can be provided. I would probably do this now so you are on the list for when things go back to normal.
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  #24821  
Old 19th April 2020, 12:13
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocket Spud
Whether to do the dishes ... whilst drinking.

Should i just do away with myself now?
I smashed a glass

One of my favs as well (a half pint goblet)
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  #24822  
Old 19th April 2020, 12:14
imperfect_perfectionist imperfect_perfectionist is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by newbs16
^ You mention attachment issues, do you mean you get attached to people quickly and feel upset if then don't reply, or communicate with you as much as you feel they should.

With your cousin, you haven't been in contact for long, it wouldn't appear that you have been very close in the past, so it's understandable that she doesn't always reply to your messages, also she may be busy or has forgotten to reply, I doubt that it's anything personal to you, or you have done anything wrong.

Also what does your therapist mean by not checking people out to see what they have done?

Maybe you could ask to see a therapist on the NHS, I don't see any harm in this and you may benefit from this and it won't cost anything. I think you can self refer yourself and they will call you to discuss your issues and let you know if further support can be provided. I would probably do this now so you are on the list for when things go back to normal.
Yeah, I get attached too easily. With the cousin I had never seen a picture or spoken to her until last year. It's like I want to know her be too close to her.

I had an unhealthy attachment to a coworker at a previous job that I followed her a lot, idolised her and ignored signs that she wasn't as interested in me as I was and was actually toxic a lot. She gossiped and showed off a lot, made certain colleagues unpopular by gossiping about them constantly. Every few weeks ended up becoming distant to me or even her other friends trying to say we did something bad. She ended up ghosting me when i left the job which hurt a lot. I felt kind of dead for a few months.

Another thing about the attachment I had with her, or have on a smaller scale, with others is that it makes me feel like I am not good enough and that I have to please the other person. I think this has made me an easy target for manipulation as I try to please certain people too much rather than follow my gut instincts.

Oh, I had one therapist that said she specialised more in attachments however she use to stop me constantly to practice deep breathing and said that sometimes I looked like I was trying to look too much into how she was acting. This was understandable as it would explain why interactions are hard, perhaps I put people on edge due to being shy but sometimes curious so not directly interacting with people but putting them on edge as I subconsciously check them out or look at them.

I don't feel I have much faith in the NHS but this is due to past situations where I asked about autism diagnosis and then the therapy I am aware they offer is CBT. I did get therapy through the NHS in 2014. But idk, or actually don't think, CBT would provide answers to my attachment problems.
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  #24823  
Old 19th April 2020, 12:38
Jam Jam is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Wish I could handle criticism better. Was walking home from food shopping earlier and this guy, who was walking in the opposite direction, had a go at me for not social distancing. I asked him what he meant, and he pointed out I should have crossed the road as I saw him coming, but in a really patronising way. Then he swore at me. I just kind of walked off. Such an insignificant, non-event, but I haven't been able to stop replaying it and taking his criticism personally.
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  #24824  
Old 19th April 2020, 12:40
imperfect_perfectionist imperfect_perfectionist is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^Me too
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  #24825  
Old 19th April 2020, 13:03
Aleks Aleks is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jam
Wish I could handle criticism better. Was walking home from food shopping earlier and this guy, who was walking in the opposite direction, had a go at me for not social distancing. I asked him what he meant, and he pointed out I should have crossed the road as I saw him coming, but in a really patronising way. Then he swore at me. I just kind of walked off. Such an insignificant, non-event, but I haven't been able to stop replaying it and taking his criticism personally.
To be honest he sounds like a [lounge-acceptable insult]. Also, couldn’t he have crossed the road?

But I totally understand your point about taking criticism. It takes me a while to stop replaying it (and some things have stuck in my head too). It’s probably best to tell yourself that you know you didn’t intend to do something wrong, so aggressive people like that should be ignored. Easier said than done I know!
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  #24826  
Old 19th April 2020, 13:18
Nanuq Nanuq is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^My thoughts exactly, Aleks, Why didn't he just cross the road instead?
Also, why spend time telling someone off? If he was genuinely concerned about social distancing he would have held his breath and moved out of the way as quickly as he could, not spend time opening his big mouth to complain. Silly man.
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  #24827  
Old 19th April 2020, 13:53
Jam Jam is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleks
To be honest he sounds like a [lounge-acceptable insult]. Also, couldn’t he have crossed the road?

But I totally understand your point about taking criticism. It takes me a while to stop replaying it (and some things have stuck in my head too). It’s probably best to tell yourself that you know you didn’t intend to do something wrong, so aggressive people like that should be ignored. Easier said than done I know!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanuq
^My thoughts exactly, Aleks, Why didn't he just cross the road instead?
Also, why spend time telling someone off? If he was genuinely concerned about social distancing he would have held his breath and moved out of the way as quickly as he could, not spend time opening his big mouth to complain. Silly man.
Thanks for the response guys. Yeah I had all these questions in my head after, like why was he assuming I should have crossed the road, would he have said that if it were someone else walking, like an elderly lady. 99% of the population could easily brush these things off and forget about, not me unfortunately.
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  #24828  
Old 20th April 2020, 19:54
Professor Willow Professor Willow is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Nigella Lawson is incredibly seductive when she's cooking.
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  #24829  
Old 20th April 2020, 19:56
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ she is, I love her innuendos
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  #24830  
Old 20th April 2020, 20:28
Raks1981 Raks1981 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jam
Wish I could handle criticism better. Was walking home from food shopping earlier and this guy, who was walking in the opposite direction, had a go at me for not social distancing. I asked him what he meant, and he pointed out I should have crossed the road as I saw him coming, but in a really patronising way. Then he swore at me. I just kind of walked off. Such an insignificant, non-event, but I haven't been able to stop replaying it and taking his criticism personally.
This dude doesn't know anything about you, so don't take it personally. You seem like a stand up dude to me.

This guy is a one-off prick. I have been food shopping many times, and walked past people. No one said nothing. The likely hood of you getting corona from walking past someone is virtually zero, unless they start coughing all over you.

If this guy was genuine, he could've spoken to you In a polite tone. So that shows you all you need to know about his character.

Eventually he'll say it to the wrong person, and get battered. Take comfort in that.
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  #24831  
Old 21st April 2020, 01:43
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ I agree with all of that. The next time the guy treats a random stranger like that he (hopefully!) won't be as lucky as he was with Jam.

@ Jam - Try not to let what happened with that guy bring you down (easier said than done I know). As everyone else said, he behaved badly and if he was so damn concerned about catching the virus then he should have crossed the road!



Thinking and wishing I lived somewhere nice where I had lovely walks right on my doorstep. I'm so jealous of all those people on Instagram who keep posting photos of their beautiful homes in beautiful countryside settings. When all of this is over, I'm going to move somewhere like that. Yeah right
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  #24832  
Old 21st April 2020, 08:27
Oddity Oddity is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

What you should've done Jam is...

I'd be the same, going over it in my head for at least a month
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  #24833  
Old 21st April 2020, 11:53
Jam Jam is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raks1981
This dude doesn't know anything about you, so don't take it personally. You seem like a stand up dude to me.

This guy is a one-off prick. I have been food shopping many times, and walked past people. No one said nothing. The likely hood of you getting corona from walking past someone is virtually zero, unless they start coughing all over you.

If this guy was genuine, he could've spoken to you In a polite tone. So that shows you all you need to know about his character.

Eventually he'll say it to the wrong person, and get battered. Take comfort in that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Consolida
^ I agree with all of that. The next time the guy treats a random stranger like that he (hopefully!) won't be as lucky as he was with Jam.

@ Jam - Try not to let what happened with that guy bring you down (easier said than done I know). As everyone else said, he behaved badly and if he was so damn concerned about catching the virus then he should have crossed the road!



Thinking and wishing I lived somewhere nice where I had lovely walks right on my doorstep. I'm so jealous of all those people on Instagram who keep posting photos of their beautiful homes in beautiful countryside settings. When all of this is over, I'm going to move somewhere like that. Yeah right
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddity
What you should've done Jam is...

I'd be the same, going over it in my head for at least a month
Thank you guys, I really appreciate your words. You're all so kind.
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  #24834  
Old 21st April 2020, 13:50
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

^ Why was the onus on you to cross? Why couldn't he? Sounds like a capital T-wat.

He was probably jealous of that god chin or something. It makes me want to heckle you in the street, among *other things.

*many

Edit: as in many other things make me want to heckle you. Fault of style I'm obviously far too busy to correct. Not intended as any more of a come on than usual.
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  #24835  
Old 21st April 2020, 15:56
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Hmm.. well just got off the phone from the pathfinder CPN. We did a kind of care plan, not that I need care but more in the form of What's important to me, what support needs etc.. The aim is to try and see if I can see a Psychologist, though another option is for perhaps a psychology intern to go through all my notes and review everything and come up with a formulae? which would then be reviewed by a consultant. Of course none of this may happen as they may reject me. Was good chatting with her though, although I won't be seeing her regularly as I don't have any need to she has said I can ring her/txt her at present if I need to. So fingers crossed I might - might - get an actual diagnosis beyond my rushed one 10? years ago. You never know....
And if so I might by a miracle actually get some appropriate (non CBT) help.
Though I'm not pinning my hopes at this point I have to say.
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  #24836  
Old 21st April 2020, 16:17
imperfect_perfectionist imperfect_perfectionist is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Travelling.

I think on this lockdown I have seen the media spread misinformation a lot. I've been commenting a lot on stuff and online commenting seems to be fun but when it's excessive it becomes like commenting is for the ego. It's the way to be an armchair intellectual.

Especially when people and me myself comment on other countries we have never spent a second in. It's funny how we can discuss these countries, judge them as worse than ours, inferior yet we have never been to the country or even been exposed to the countries culture.

I think travelling, actually doing stuff, would make me wiser and also make me feel less need to comment on something I am not an expert in. As I feel less need to justify my ego.
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  #24837  
Old 22nd April 2020, 20:05
edbander edbander is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I just bought half tank petrol at £1.06p/litre. I can't use most of it, but hey...
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  #24838  
Old 23rd April 2020, 12:38
jigglypuff jigglypuff is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Incoming boring thing but i thought everyone turned their pillowcases inside out and put them on their pillows, the amount of people that just stuff them in is surprising
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  #24839  
Old 23rd April 2020, 14:38
Nanuq Nanuq is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

I'm surprised that anyone turns them inside out!
You have to do that for duvet covers because they're so big, but it's easy to squish pillows into pillow cases.

I really love clean bedding, clean bedding and camomile tea and honey have replaced prosecco as my favourite night time thing
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  #24840  
Old 23rd April 2020, 17:24
Dimplesxo Dimplesxo is offline
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Default Re: Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

Fresh bedding is the best feeling ever!!....I however didn't know about the turning of them inside out and I have been reminded now that I need to buy some new pillows, as mine are flat as pancakes and are probably the reason my neck hurts so much.

I'm thinking are ice cream vans meant to be out and about?
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