Feel even more disconnected from others

[sillypenguin]

I've always had issues with anxiety and communicating with others but still managed to hold onto a few friendships over the years, there's not many that I hold particularly close friendships though, some friendships are more just people I can have random conversations with or go for a coffee, or the pub now and again.

However, since the lockdown began I have legit no energy or much desire to hold onto any of these friendships, even though right now all that involves is talking over what's app or Facebook. Infact I have deactivated my Facebook as I generally have no interest in it what so ever anymore. Its like I just don't care what people are doing to keep occupied or whatever, all those mediocre posts on what people are up to. Rarely do I keep up a conversation for more than a sentence or two and then I just can't keep up anymore.

I don't know why I have literally no interest in much people anymore, maybe I always have been this way but at least there was activities I could engage with others. Now I can't visit anyone or anywhere anymore, except go walks/cycles with my live in partner. I still keep in touch with my immediate family and there's one close friend that's been having a tough time just now with their job, but that's it! Also because I work from home I don't feel that connected with my work colleagues anymore either to the point I feel like I've never worked with anyone before.

Just worried that this disconnect goes beyond the lockdown and I just become a total hermit. No like it would be that bad tbh! Other than this, I've adjusted to the lockdown rather ok! My anxiety is not then as bad as I thought!

[sillypenguin]

Hi biscuits,

Hope you are doing well, or as well as you can be during this time. With me, i don't think it's about improving my social skills, it's just that I have became so apathetic right now that I don't want to talk to anyone and don't care what people have to say. It sounds really sad and pathetic but by shutting myself off I seem to be actually keeping my anxiety in check. When I started using Facebook, twitter etc last week I just felt so attacked by the conversation (not that it was personal or directed at me just that I was fed up with everyone's BS and self righteousness). Also I seem to be having longstanding issues with my neighbours which really got me stressed out for a while, so yeah I just don't have the energy to be social right now, if I force it it's just gonna come across a bit fake.

Hope that makes sense, I'm not a bad person, I'm just so tired in so many ways and my referral to the community mental health team has been postponed so that's not really helping either atm

[Utopia]

Yeah, I think I know what you mean, it kind of reverses a lot of things we were previously being told as introverts/people with social anxiety. I mean socialising online is definitely easier for me though, I guess many of us with mental health problems already know what lockdown is like given that many of us went through phases or still struggle to interact with people as easily, and so I guess maybe it is a concern that they will just undo the work towards breaking these habits if they wanted to be more normal and sociable.

I mean you wrote a good post here, I think it might be worth sending them a whatsapp message or phonecall, I mean I can't imagine what lockdown would have been like in the 70s before satalite/cable TV, the internet and streaming services, not to mention free calls and texts to anyone on earth. I don't see the problem socialising online, I mean I know it's not a substitute but it's better than nothing surely? I don't really see a huge amount of difference with talking to someone online as in real life, they are the same people if you already know them. Having said that it's probably good you are off facebook given the problems with fake accounts spreading misinformation.

Even stuff I've posted on here, I posted some jokes about it and some speculation, but I was also trying to make predictions that might have been a bit more optimistic or realistic. At the early stages of the pandemic, the death rate is like 20+% and the numbers are growing exponentially, so I was trying to be reasonable about it - it's not the end of the world and life will go back to normal... also, we really are all in the same boat right now and dealing with the exact same difficulties, so you are definitely not alone in feeling disrupted by it.

[neilm]

Originally Posted by Utopia

I can't imagine what lockdown would have been like in the 70s before satellite/cable TV, the internet and streaming services, not to mention free calls and texts to anyone on earth.

Yes, Ive wondered that myself to be honest.

Imagine if this had happened in the 1950s/60s/70s? Just the TV (with only 3 channels to choose from) Radio, or Newspapers for information. Certainly would have made the Governments position easier I suppose..

[Utopia]

^ Well it did happen in 1918-20, but the timing of that was unfortunate because it was kind of historically eclipsed by the first world war. I wasn't taught about that at school, but when it killed so many people, I think I should have been. I remember learning about the black death in primary school - that was deadly - and an example of the kind of death brought about if we were scientifically iliterate. I mean I knew it was a possibility because people like Bill Gates drew attention to it's possibility and less severe pandemics such as swine flu. I mean we don't know the final death rate, but it does seem to be higher within certain populations (over 5% amongst patients in the Wuhan area). I guess some people can be more severely infected.

[Orwell20]

Originally Posted by sillypenguin

However, since the lockdown began I have legit no energy or much desire to hold onto any of these friendships, even though right now all that involves is talking over what's app or Facebook. Infact I have deactivated my Facebook as I generally have no interest in it what so ever anymore. Its like I just don't care what people are doing to keep occupied or whatever, all those mediocre posts on what people are up to. Rarely do I keep up a conversation for more than a sentence or two and then I just can't keep up anymore.

I don't know why I have literally no interest in much people anymore, maybe I always have been this way but at least there was activities I could engage with others. Now I can't visit anyone or anywhere anymore, except go walks/cycles with my live in partner. !

I can so relate. Truth is, I find most people ****ing boring. I just can’t be bothered. I would much rather read a book or watch TV or get high. It isn’t that I hate people, or that I don’t care about them, but I am an introvert and don’t crave company. I don’t enjoy meaningless chit chat with whoever happens to be there. To me, it’s a waste of time. Happiness isn’t people, it’s learning something, like the guitar, or German, or whatever.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by roro_1990

At least you have colleagues. I've spent the prime of my youth (25-29) working alone online with a laptop screen as my colleague and email being the only form of communication work-related.

I feel your vibes about withdrawing from the barely-existent social life I had though. I see messages on WhatsApp from 1 or 2 friends and I have no interest in writing back or getting involved. I deactivated my Facebook too because I genuinely couldn't care what any of the 125+ people on my "friends" list are posting. While everyone else who is socially competent is out doing pub quizzes, I don't even have enough friends to do something like that.

I am feeling more misanthropic and suicidal than ever and I even posted in the suicide thread today because the quality of my friendships is so shit that I wouldn't be able to talk to them about suicidal ideations or anything to do with poor mental health.

To be honest I don't think many people have the kind of close friends that they could easily talk to about suicidal feelings. Unless they know someone who has suffered with depression and is honest about it.

[limey123]

Originally Posted by Orwell20

Happiness isn’t people, it’s learning something, like the guitar, or German, or whatever.

Good call.

[edbander]

I am actually 'enjoying' the lockdown more because everyone else has been brought into the same boat as me

it's a little bit gutting that a couple of the 'real life' people who I hadn't spoken to for a few yrs on my real facebook account, didn't reply when I sent them a "hope ur ok" message (a few did)

but right now, everyone else not being social, is doing the same thing that I've been doing for 4-5 years. (I'm fortunate to live with parents, I didn't at my previous place)

[Counterpoint]

Wow, so incredible reading you guys experiencing the same. I feel as though my life is slowly flashing before my eyes. Everybody’s well is running dry at the moment so not many people in my life are in a good place to support me when I’m down, and vice versa, so it feels like I’m really staring my soul in face and struggling to find a strong person within there. I like doing things for people but these weeks I haven’t had much to do. There’s always a solution but I struggle to know what that is. Perhaps my biggest challenge is trying not to compare myself to all the incredible people out there risking life and limb to help others while I cook my pasta and watch movies!