Treatments

[ryan2032]

Hi all,

I just wondered what sort of treatments other posters have received or currently going through. I have suffered from Social Anxiety since I was a teenager and I am nearly 40 now, everything I have done so far hasn’t really made much difference and I guess I’ve come to point we’re I think maybe it’s time to give up and accept this horrible disease, I won’t improve and the rest of my life will be as meaningless as the life I have already had.

I have tried online therapy, that’s pointless. Face to face therapy is better as it’s like someone to talk to, I have tried various medications, I did see a psychiatrist when I was younger. I want to see my GP and tell them I am at the end of the road, I don’t have any life but I’m not sure what options are available to me anymore. I just don’t think I can get past SA and improve my life, I have tried for over 20 years now.

[Bored]

Dont give up, Yes, you should go to your Doctor and tell them how you feel, have you told your friends, family, that you feel this way? Have you tried a help group or meetups?
Take care.

[Selkie]

Hi Ryan,

I'm sorry to hear you feel like that.
Have you had any CBT? This definitely helped me to an extent. But *gets soap box out* you need a good therapist! And one who specialises in social anxiety. My NHS CBT was pretty good.
If you have only had counselling-type treatments, where you talk about what is bothering you, but it doesn't involve consciously altering your behaviour, it might be easier to get stuck.
I have also found that things like meditation/relaxation techniques, mindfulness, self-compassion and some buddhist philosophy have helped me.

I hope you can get some help. I've tried a lot of things, and progress has been quite slow at times. I'm still have a level of SA but I have got better..

[ryan2032]

I have tried online CBT a couple of times, I understand it but I just struggle to get anything from it. I have also done face to face CBT which is better but again I struggle. I understand CBT but I really think I am at the extreme end of SA, I can’t work, struggle to go out and with life in general. From what I have read the only treatments are CBT and medication, I am on medication and have been for years so I’m not sure what options are left.

I’m not having suicidal thoughts but I know myself I have had no life, have no life and already around the mid point of my life then maybe I should just expect the rest of my life to be the same. I was going to go to the doctors but that has obviously been put on the back foot atm, it’s hard to describe everything over the phone to a gp.

[Dougella]

^ Have you heard of ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)? There is a good book called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris which uses the principles of this and a lot of people seem to find helpful.

CBT can be helpful but it's not the right thing for everyone and certainly for more severe social anxiety it doesn't seem to be enough for some people.

It's definitely possible to make progress no matter what age you are, people here have improved a lot in their 40s or 50s or even past that. You really don't have to accept being unhappy forever.

[Mr. Nobody]

I've had person-centred therapy, which was specifically tailored to Social Anxiety,
Was really quiet fortunate to happen upon that, as I ended up having 23 free sessions in all,
Have also had CBT twice, both were in a group, that helped a bit too,
Plus, went to a drop-in centre for Anxiety a few times,

I think whatever you manage to get, it's really all about making the most of it, and realising that whatever progress you make really has to come from you,

It can appear impossible at times, daunting at others,..and often, progress is made without even realising it,
It's often only when you look back that you see how you've changed,

Main thing is often getting out there and making things happen, .
Obviously Covid has kind of hampered that quite a bit?

I also wouldn't discount 'Meets' as valid treatment in a way,
Although it's not under professional medical practice or whatever,
But it's probably been the most effective thing for many people, myself included.

[Bored]

Also , I don't want to seem like a stalker but I read some of your old posts and it seems you can drive and have had jobs and had a girlfriend and dated , so you shouldn't be too hard on yourself as you are doing better than others, me included.
Have you tried IAPT? Google IAPT services in Kent and see if there is anything near you,
take care.

[ryan2032]

@Bored - I have dated, had long term relationships and have got one son. All past relationships have broken down due to my mental health issues. Driving has been off and on for me as I have epilepsy but have been given my licence back recently but I can’t afford a car due to not working. I haven’t worked for about 6 years and I don’t feel like I can work, wish I could though.

I guess everything gets me down in one go, I can’t work due to SA, which means I can’t afford a car. In turn having no job, no car, no money means the chances of meeting someone is slim. Having a family which just completely ignores your mental health issues and accuses you of being lazy doesn’t help. Everything just circles and makes you feel negative, also I do make comparisons to others who have careers etc, that’s only natural. There’s no doubt SA has ruined my life.

Thanks for the replies all and it gives me some options to look into. I know when I go to the GP he will mention putting my meds up and CBT. I think I am better off going to someone direct and discussing what options there are.

[gregarious_introvert]

Hi ryan, I can't really help in terms of treatments because I've had none which were effective for me (I didn't have a good experience with CBT), but I can back up what Dougella said about progress being possible in later life; I only started to overcome social anxiety in my 50s (I'm now 59) and whilst I still have anxiety, I am now in a position where I control the anxiety (most of the time) rather than the anxiety controlling me.

Like you, I don't work (I have worked in the past, but this exacerbated my issues and I know that I would still struggle to handle the workplace environment) but I have managed to get the benefits to which I am entitled (ESA and PIP) which means that I don't struggle with finances; if your SA is severe enough to stop you working, you should be entitled to a similar level of benefits and should make enquiries to ensure that you are receiving what you should (I know this isn't easy, but it's worth doing).

Not having a car or money can limit your options but they don't have to be a barrier to meeting someone; there are those who may judge you for not working, but there are also those who won't. It's more about having confidence in yourself (something which is rarely easy for anxiety sufferers) than about how others see you - we are often our own worse critics and you mention the circle of negativity, which can feel almost impossible to escape.

I hope that you're able to find something which works for you and I'm sorry that I can't answer your question more directly; however, I hope that I've been able to show that it is worth persevering.

[Marco]

Ryan, I fully sympathise with your feelings of despair about your SA. I’m 57 and I still suffer from it, but like GI I think it doesn’t rule my life like it used to. Of course there are still situations that I continue to avoid and indeed this has detrimentally impacted on my social life and career (if I can call it that) over the years. The only medication I sometimes use is propranolol to control tremor and palpitations. I strongly recommend outdoor exercise, like hill walking, which I find to be immensely therapeutic. Maintaining a healthy diet is important as well. These lifestyle adjustments don’t offer a cure, but I find they improve mental (as well as physical) well-being and resilience, enabling me better to resist dark thoughts that do keep intruding. Counselling might also help, although I don’t have much personal experience (I did briefly try CBT but it didn’t work for me, in hindsight maybe because I wasn’t up to putting in the effort back then). Learn to appreciate yourself and your successes in anything, no matter how small. Try to challenge yourself in social situations and you will expand your comfort zone, albeit slowly and, sure, sometimes with set-backs.

There is no magic cure for SA and, like me, you might never overcome it, but you can certainly learn to live with it and work round it, and be happier, much happier even. I think my life improved hugely since my forties and it’s even better in my fifties. Don’t give up on yourself!