Triggers

[BigD]

So, this morning I was going to enjoy a quiet hour in the garden after a tough people-intensive week at work. Next door's kids decided to play noisily, with lots of laughter and shrieking, just over the fence. I ended up sitting in a chair in the greenhouse with my hands over my ears and my heart pounding. Now I have retreated to the house and am having chest pains which I hope are just a panic attack...

Since being bullied badly throughout my childhood I still get triggered by the sound of children's laughter and it is over 40 years since I left school.

On school days if I happen to be on a bus with a load of noisy kids I have to get off and walk even if it means a soaking.

Is it just me or does this happen to you too? Or something similar?

[Messer]

Hope you got over this BigD. Sounds very difficult for you.

[BigD]

^ I did get past it eventually, thank you. It has been a long time since it affected me so badly. Probably compounded by work stress.

[Azalea]

Glad you're feeling better BigD.
I find kids a trigger for different reasons, especially seeing grandmothers with toddlers and babies.
It's hard because I love kids, I even make little teddy bears for the kids in the park where the craft group is but sometimes I just have to hide in the toilets and cry.
Another one is the words "stupid stupid" For any reason (if I dropped something, fell over or made a simple mistake) my mum would call me a "stupid stupid girl"
Hearing it now makes me feel so small and useless.

[BigD]

I'm so sorry to hear that Azalea. It must be really hard. My mum was similar.

[Bluebear]

I find kids a trigger too, especially when I encounter grandmothers or sometimes even young mums with young children. My mother did not want grandchildren. She didn't want me either. I do like kids but don't have any... and my mother was also similar with the verbal mistreatment. I was always ''stupid''.