How to talk to someone who is distressed

[Laurel]

This maybe helpful because maybe with social anxiety its possible to have a friend in a dark place. And not always knowing how to help them.

https://www.clearerthinking.org/sing...appens-to-them

The Four States of Distress Model

State 1: Shocked or confused
Strategies more likely to be helpful:
>Active listening
>Helping to resolve confusion
>Expression of concern
>Validating their confusion
>Reflecting back to them your understanding of what they have said
State 2: Feeling bad and not ready to feel better
Strategies more likely to be helpful:
>Active listening
>Empathy
>Validating their emotions
>Reflecting back to them your understanding of what they have said
>Help them get into a mind set where they are ready to feel better
State 3: Feeling bad but wants to feel better
>Optimism and reframing (e.g., seeing it in a less negative light or finding a silver lining)
>Physical comforting (e.g., a hug)
>Validating their emotions
>Distraction (e.g., doing a fun activity)
>Helping them explore and understand their feelings
>Problem-solving (especially if there is a way to quickly fix much of the problem)
State 4: Feeling better and wants solutions
Strategies more likely to be helpful (though your choice will depend on the person and your relationship to them):
>Brainstorming solutions
>Problem solving
>Advice
>Volunteering your time to actually help on the solution
>Providing resources to help solve the problem

[choirgirl]

Interesting stuff. A lot of the time people burst into state 4, regardless of where the person is! I'm sure I do too. There is also 'minimise the problem', which is usually the last things someone wants.