#1
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Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
I thought as I got older I would find it easier to deal with my anxiety,but only find it becoming more difficult the older I get.Does anyone else fell the same?
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#2
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
I did, but it peaked when I hit 50 and entered my last agoraphobic episode. I don't know whether it was age, or the realisation that I had a decreasing amount of time left in which to make my life worthwhile, but since the age of 53 my anxiety (despite a few relapses) has been gradually reducing.
Anxiety leads to avoidance and avoidance makes situations appear more daunting; this is probably not the best analogy, but it's been something like 15 years or more since I last played a competitive football match (I was never a regular player, but I'd turn out for pub teams occasionally when they were a player short), so if I were asked to play tomorrow, I would doubt my ability to tackle, pass the ball accurately, shoot with any kind of power and may well find myself declining the opportunity so that I don't embarrass myself or let down my teammates. However, if I wanted to start playing football again, I would have to put myself through that at some point and of course it would become easier if I were to start training and practising beforehand; so it is with the things which make us anxious - it doesn't hurt to practice and prepare before we put ourselves into vulnerable situations, but if we want to do the things which make us anxious, then the only way forward is to start doing them and continue doing them until the anxiety becomes less inhibiting. I'm approaching three years now since I started exposing myself (pun intended!) on a regular basis and I am not claiming to be anxiety-free, but I do believe that my anxiety is within normal parameters (because everyone experiences some degree of social anxiety), even hiding the most obvious outward signs of autism has become something which is second nature. |
#3
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
Quote:
For all of us (despite the fact that I, personally, am in denial of this), there will come a time when we're unable to do the things we love (in my case, travelling and attending music festivals, among other things) and when that time comes, it will be our memories which sustain us. My advice, therefore, would be to find a way to make those memories (whatever they may be) whilst still physically able to do so. |
#4
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
Getting older is a proven and valuable tool in reducing your SA, and when you get so old that you die you no longer have it at all.
My advice to the younger SAers on here - get old! |
#5
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
Lots of things have got easier - or maybe it's just that I care less than I did 20 years ago - but things like parties and doing courses are still more or less as tough as they ever were.
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#6
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
In some ways it's better and some worse.
I wasn't brave enough to seek help until I was in my 40s. Not sure if that's relevant or not. Jinny I do't think you can ever be stress and anxiety free with kids, Not being allowed to see my grandchildren is the hardest thing and the way my son and daughter in law have treated me has led to even more problems. It's easier to avoid socialising when they are grown up though. |
#7
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
100%, I'm a lot more comfortable in my skin i feel as I get older. I know who I am and that seems to settle my anxiety
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#8
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
Over the last couple of years, since I turned 60, yes very much so.
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#10
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
At 40, I'm coping better at work than I ever have. My personal life however, is another story and I feel I've got worse. If I don't have my work role to hide behind, I'm pretty much useless at conversation with other adults.
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#11
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
OP, I definitely understand what you mean! I've never even had a partner or lost my virginity; I look at my Dad who I always considered himself to be a social outcast of sorts (clever, though; I mean he was a highly-paid solicitor with an amazing Uni degree).
I spoke to him about my woes, and I enjoyed it because he understands - even though he got lucky! - But he was a late-bloomer. He keeps encouraging me, and reminding me that there's more to life... I couldn't live without that reassurance, but it's natural for everyone to aspire to the greener side of the fence, as it were. I'm incredibly fortunate to have my parents on-side even if my broader family isn't. I'm a gay woman, by the way. My parents still love me and encourage me, even though the rest is difficult. Every little helps (cue Tesco or Asda advert, Lol). |
#12
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
Not sure if worse just a whole new set of anxiety problems! When I was in my 20s/30s my anxieties usually revovled around the shallow ideals ie. not fitting in with my peers; not being cool enough; popular enough; pretty enough etc etc now in my early 50s I have learned to live with my physical being (though still striving to change that) but my stresses now are more centred around fear of rejection; fear of being lonely; having no money; losing what few friends I have because I am dull and 'strange' to be with. Unfortunately I cannot see a time when I will not have some form of anxiety though I do try on a daily basis to not allow my negative thoughts and feelings rule me.
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#13
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
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It's funny because as i progress in my thirties I get more and more comfortable with my self. I think my anxiety gets worse but I'm better at just switching off to it which has the negative effect of making me appear withdrawn to others. |
#14
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
I don't know. I think my anxiety is so situation dependent which makes me frustrated with myself. As in - if I am used to my job I am less anxious. If I have money in the bank I am less anxious. If I am eating and sleeping properly I am less anxious. If I am not forced to spend time with horrible people (usually at work) I am less anxious. But none of that is me really me improving, it's the triggers not being there that raise my underlying stress level.
I AM much more self aware though. I used to think no one else had this problem, or no one I knew and couldn't explain it. |
#15
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
Mines going the other way
From age 16-22ish I was very anxious out and about, I hated being anywhere in public or wearing something that would have attracted attention to me at all, I wanted to just hide under the radar Now I'm 32 I don't really give a shit I'm still anxious about phone calls (which has always been one of my biggest problems) But the rest of it is like eh! I'll go walk the dog in my iron man pj's I don't really care if anyones looking at me and I don't get particularly awkward around women (like my teenage self used to) I'm very much in the "if you don't like me for what I am..**** yo!" |
#16
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
I agree with it being situation dependant. I've had a few changes in my life that have been quite challenging and caused my anxiety to reappear. Then I have to deal with being overly self critical when I feel I'm not dealing with things too well. In reality I'm probably coping better than I would when I was younger but it's not always apparent !
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#17
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
I think my anxiety has roughly stayed the same but i've learnt to deal with certain situations alot better thru the years, i still do have my moments where my anxiety goes thru the roof and don't think i'll ever get rid of that but dealing it head on is what i'm focusing on at the mo!
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#18
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
I would say that my anxiety is not as bad as it used to be. In fact if my anxiety hadn***8217;t dampened down somewhat over the years, I would very likely have suffered a nervous breakdown and/or heart attack long before now. I think some kind of safety switch in my brain must have tripped at some point, but I do still get very anxious in all sorts of situations that wouldn***8217;t faze normal people nearly as much. I***8217;ve just had to accept that I***8217;m stuck with this dreadful, irrational anxiety ***8211; my faithful, but unwanted lifelong companion! I think also, now that I***8217;m well into my fifties, I do feel that bit more self-conscious of my relatively poor social skills and lack of confidence for someone of my age.
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#19
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Re: Do you find your anxiety gets worse with age?
I suppose my life started out OK, and then I was born.
From there it went slowly and surely downhill. In middle age it got to a crisis point where the distress of being in my position exceeded the shame and then I sought help. My doctor was understanding and referred me for a talk. The talk really consisted of finding out two things; was I a danger to other people and was I an immediate danger to myself. The former was a clear 'no' and the latter was something I wouldn't have admitted to even if I was. This resulted in them declining to proceed further and suggesting I sought help privately. Surprisingly, I did seek help and I even followed their advice. Maybe paying lots of money made the advice easier to follow. Slowly, oh so slowly, I managed to turn around and started to point in the right direction. I had spent half a lifetime digging myself into a big hole and at least I have learnt the most fundamental lesson; if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop digging. The climb out is proving a challenge and if I don't get a move on I will emerge just in time to climb into my box. |