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Old 19th September 2018, 10:34
juego*dodo42 juego*dodo42 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Northener
Posts: 2


Default Hello everyone, I'm new here

Hello all! I discovered this forum yesterday after a (very unsatisfying) trip to the doctors to discuss my social anxiety. After talking to her, I decided I might have been better off going it alone all along, and thought finding a forum of like-minded people might be a good place to start!

I had never had an out-loud discussion about my experience of social anxiety before, and I immediately started crying (eek), a controlled crying, but still, talking through tears. She referred me to an online service (handed me a leaflet, that was all), which I discovered also accepts self-referrals, so now I feel a little bit cheated that I shared so much of myself with her for no reason when she just sort of palmed me off. For one thing, she didn't get up and welcome me when I entered the room - she stayed in her seat, expected me to close the door, didn't point me to a chair, just very quietly said hello to me, and I found that to be quite rude, actually! The same when I left; it all felt quite awkward. I'm telling the doctor how uncomfortable I feel in social situations: where was the reassurance I craved?! Am I wrong to expect a little caregiving and a warm welcome from a GP? Have things changed so much in our society? (The practise was actually conducting a questionnaire about this particular doctor, and of course I gave fairly glowing praise (very good '4' on a scale up to excellent '5' - never one to rock the boat, me!) and only afterwards thought about all the comments I should have written at the bottom...)

Anyway, I am in my early 30s (I love cooking, reading, history, museums, art, seeing new places, keeping fit, cinema/theatre/live sport and music, wine, comedy) I'm a natural introvert and don't find it easy to open up to other people - I'm easily dominated by other people in conversation, always seeking approval from others so find the 'easy life' is just to agree to their face and keep my thoughts to myself (but that way dissatisfaction lies!). My true self is locked inside and nobody sees it behind the shroud of shyness, awkwardness, anxiety, a need to please and a hurry to get away from social pressures. I don't have a social life and tend to avoid everything to do with it, and as I'm getting older I'm starting to think I may be content with that: every time I think about a busy social life I don't see that I would be compatible with it, and maybe this is it for me. Trying to redesign your life from scratch is not an easy thing, and even if it were possible, would I like it any better than this? I like my own company, but getting older is a tough thing to face alone. I suppose I'm feeling a bit frazzled and confused at the moment. I'd better stop waffling, just to say 'hello' and I'm grateful this community exists!
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Old 19th September 2018, 19:31
AHME409 AHME409 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: London
Posts: 17
Blog Entries: 1


Default Re: Hello everyone, I'm new here


Firstly, well done for seeking help and we all welcome you to the forum.

I think you should consider how your doctor might have been feeling too. Everyone has their own issues, perhaps she didn't know how to deal with the situation professionally. I also cried when I went to the doctor the first time and was met with little sympathy but I realised she doesn't understand what I'm going through so she is probably quite confused by my reaction. I was initially referred to therapy but then asked if I could try medication and tbh that has helped me quite a bit - so maybe you could look into that! As a short term solution.

I'm also a natural introvert and can't imagine myself enjoying social activities but I also realise the benefit of close relationships. It's a tricky one! If you do want to form some friendships or a relationship there are many ways to get into the social world. Volunteering or joining a club might help you meet new people!
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Old 20th September 2018, 12:32
Hackpen Hackpen is offline
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Harrogate
Posts: 318
Default Re: Hello everyone, I'm new here

Hi, welcome I agree, well done for seeking help, shame your gp wasn't more helpful ! Some docs are better than others when it comes to mental health, talking to a therapist might be more useful.
I'm in a new job and knew environment, feeling like an oddity with my anxiety. Trying to be more accepting of myself as that nagging voice really doesn't help :-/
Hope you find this place helpful

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