!Do I SUFFER!

[butter-flys]

Hi Everyone
I am kind of new here been reading peoples post. I don’t know if I suffer from Social Anxiety, but the symptoms I have read about sound a lot like me. When I was younger I never really understood why I was always shy when there were a lot of people around. I come from a very BIG family... there was always a family gathering I lived with about 15 people all family, I was always the quite one never really spoke much. I just thought that was a part of my personality. Everyone els was more out going loud funny, ect.. i was more humble.
I just thought I was normal till about 4 years ago when I started having all these weird feeling when i am around people, like at parties and family weddings... i would hide in the toilets, or act like I am ill.. so that i can go home or just get out of that situation, never seen a doctor or spoken to anyone about this before.. No one that knows me would think i suffer from social anxiety; i just come across as a shy person.

But deep down i know there is something wrong with me... some of the symptoms i feel when i am in social gatherings, i can feel my stomach tightening, my hands start sweating, i can feel my my lips starting to shake... i bit my nails, my lips, i start playing with things.. trying to keep my hands busy... feeling my hands shaking... when i speak i feel like people are thinking i am weird or what i am saying is weird.. i feel like i am blinking a lot... my eyes are all over the place...

Everyone tells me i should be a model and i can be one if i really wanted it... but i don’t think i could ever do something like that... i hate the idea of people looking at me... the thought of it makes me sick
I don’t know how to get help don’t know what the first step should be... don’t know if i do suffer from this.... social anxiety didn’t even know such a thing existed.. i just thought i was the only one.. till a few moths ago when i read an article in a newspaper... i cute off that page in the newspaper and kept it inside of a book i had in my bag.... came across it a few weeks ago... and thought mybe i should try to learn more about this and really get some help because i have run out of excuses for my frens and family.... reasons on why i cant come to the lasts party or family get 2tha... i cant say i am sick anymore... or i am working or i got things to do...... i have used them many times before.. i don’t want my frenz and family to think that i don’t care or that i am not normal.... i feel like this bitch is taking over my life...

.
I am young... and i don’t want to spend the rest of my life like this... why i am i scared of this world.. why am i scared of people and what they think...

What is it really,... and why do i suffer from it WHY ME...!!

[butter-flys]

it doesnt have to take over ur life... but it can offten feel like it is.. when you cant go out with ur frenz and family... when you cant even talk to people.. when ur going through all these strange feelings... that no one els feels.. before i knw what social anxiety was i used to say to myself.. LOOK what ever is making you feel like this u can bit it.. dont let her win today.. go have fun.... but some how she always seems to come bak...

[hardy]

Welcome to this site. sounds like you do have SA . You can "cure" it to a large extent .
People usually get Sa by learning a false picture of how people see you when you were a child . so that the anxiety you get is not silly or irrational its a natural reaction to a " dangerous" situation. ( social life) .
Most people with SA take a lot of convincing that there is nothing wrong with the way they behave . so they waste a lot of time trying to learn eye contact or avoid blushing etc etc.

When you can get your head round the idea that you have a false idea of how negatively people see you only then you can make progress.
You can get therapy . Ask your doctor to refer you for therapy . SA is a recognised condition . Your doctor should not say it doesn't exist or tell you youre silly to have these thoughts.

[muted]

Originally Posted by hardy

Most people with SA take a lot of convincing that there is nothing wrong with the way they behave . so they waste a lot of time trying to learn eye contact or avoid blushing etc etc.

I don't quite see how trying to improve eye contact and finding ways to avoid blushing is a waste of time?

If there is nothing wrong with the way people with SA behave, then why is this website even here? People with SA need to understand that the way they are thinking, feeling, and acting, is irrational! and unhealthy!

I'm confused!

[W!llow]

Hi Butter-flys. Welcome to the site. It does sound very much like you have SA. It is a horrible thing to live with especially when the fear is in control. I think we've all probably thought at times 'Why me?!' Anyway you will find lots of good information on this site. Any particular issues you can do a search for and it will come up with all the posts to do with that topic.

eye contact I do believe can be worked on. With blushing I think part of the cure (at least to a degree) is acceptance, as the anxiety over the blush is what makes the blushing usually more severe. I don't think you can really find ways to avoid(short of having an operation) blushing without totally curing any social anxiety, as we can't foretell the future there is likely to be some occasions in life where we will feel awkward, so it is the emphasis we put on the blushing how we interpret what it means (I look stupid, ugly whatever) or (I might be blushing what does it matter it will fade if they judge me for it that's their problem) that makes the difference.