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#3
6th October 2011, 21:10
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I guess overall improvement but only just, for me its mostly just changed so better in some ways and a bit worse in others. I dont think it was especially by doing anything really though tbh so more natural.
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#4
6th October 2011, 21:11
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I improved alot from hard work really. Ive never done the tablets although its been suggested, I went the harder route and done the counselling, cbt ect and know any progress I have made is 100% me. Im definatly a diff person to a few years ago, even with all my faults now.
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#6
7th October 2011, 00:36
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I improved gradually from the start of 6th form up to 4 or 5 years after I left, then realised that I was going nowhere in life and started feeling awkward again, then started overdepending on one person for my happiness, this gave me the illusion that I was confident, then I lost that person and I'm at the lowest point I've ever been. So improvement isn't impossible I suppose***8230;
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#7
7th October 2011, 12:24
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
yes,.. I've seen a lot of big improvements in myself over the years as regards SA,. but I also think I've a long way to go too.
I hate the fact though that I can't seem to pin~down exactly how and say "this" worked or "that event" changed me or whatever,..so I could concentrate on that "thing" I do know that being pushed into something and having no alternative helped me. my current job forced me to be on the phone a lot and to deal with people face to face constantly every single day,. it was really hard to begin with but I slowly managed to slip into the full role over a period of time,... it's still not ideally what I'd like to do every day, but it has helped my SA no doubt,. dating was another big help for me getting out every day for a walk is good for me too ( I live in the countryside,.. which helps provide an incentive for walking ) being honest and saying what's on your mind helps too, ( I used to censor myself almost entirely ) I've also recently decided to have a "zero tolerance" approach to my own laziness, procrastination and constant invention of excuses for my behaviours,. which, so far,.. is working well,.. I think it's about not having a personal attitude towards myself, not babying myself and pitying myself and always allowing myself off the hook,.. now I'm just seeing what I do in a kind of impersonal light and just using what intelligence I have to assess my life and my ways of going about things,.. I seem to be good at seeing other people's faults, so I'm trying to apply that vision to my own life now ( makes sense ) |
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#8
7th October 2011, 12:39
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
Over the last year or so, yes. Meds helped for a bit, but the effect wore off. Exposure and getting used to certain situations seems to be the thing that works for me.
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#9
7th October 2011, 12:50
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
No.If anything it has got worse over the last couple of years.
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#10
7th October 2011, 12:57
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
In terms of my depression and suicidal thoughts there has been a vast improvement, especially with the latter, or at least i'm better at not letting it get so deep now, but then again, I also don't have a lot of the stress triggers I had then (i.e. not studying/working or anything to stress me out).
In terms of my SA. I think it really depends. One on one I can be a lot less introverted and even quite bubbly at times, depending on where I am, who I'm with etc and how intimidated I am by them. In groups I still feel I have a lot to overcome though and I'm just there as it were rather the contributing to the group. As for going out, it's still very rare I venture, especially alone, unless I am meeting someone locally. I have made a couple of friends in the last two years so I see that as progress but i'm still very inconsistent in my ways and my moods are very up and down. But since I feel more on top of my depression (most of the time) so that it doesn't lead to suicidal thoughts, I feel this is the most positive step and so as long as I don't feel them thoughts resurfacing enough where I think about considering the options again, then I feel happy i've made vast improvements. Quote:
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#11
7th October 2011, 15:01
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
Not really. I'm still in the same place I was in back in 2007 and I'm very ashamed of that. It's embarrassing. Over 4 years and I haven't gotten anywhere? How pathetic is that?... But it's true. In 2007 I got my hair coloured and my skin treated, and met my long-distance BF and he got me leaving the house again, but there has been so more progress since. With anything! The 'relationship' is still long-distance and the visits are getting fewer and further between each year, I still only leave the house if I'm with someone, my parents, or BF when I do actually see him, I still have no education, no friends, no life. And I'm not exaggerating
 ... I wish I was. It's SCARY how I can stay in the exact same routine for years... It's SCARY that I'll be 22 next February and what the hell do I have to show for it?....OK. There are a few things that I ought to give myself credit for: 1. I put on weight. Not really my own doing, though... it's my medication. But it's probably worth putting down as it's a huge achievement. In 2009 I was underweight with no appetite and now I'm 9 stone, a pear instead of a carrot, and eating well. 2. I went to a small SAUK meet which actually, for me, is pretty amazing. Considering it was the first time I had met up with new people in years. 3. I met up with my best friend from school, after 6 years of only talking online and by text, and started seeing her again. It started out really well but this year has gone downhill a bit, my own stupid fault. 4. Met up with another friend from SAUK which was really nice, and the day after I saw my best friend for the first time in years - two days in a row! But all of these things were last year, and I have nothing to show for this year, at all. This year is almost over and I haven't done anything My general anxiety has worsened. I still haven't gotten to the next stage, going out alone, buying things myself... Pathetic! I really want some professional help but when I finally WANT it, it totally eludes me! It's so embarrassing and I feel like the only one that can't get their ass together after all this time. I feel so behind. |
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#12
7th October 2011, 17:34
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I give myself a break these days. I used to struggle through work for 6 hours, by the afternoon my back would ache, my muscles would be lax from being held frozen through some meeting (in which I was usually eye-rolled at, laughed at).
Now I don't work, the working world can take a running jump. I relax these days and let the state support me, WTF not? I do aim to make some money through writing though, if only to support my parents in their latter years. In that sense my attitude has changed, I've also found I can sit in groups for up to half an hour before beginning to get tense. In years to come I hope this relaxed attitude extends to people so that I no longer care what they think at all. |
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#13
7th October 2011, 18:12
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I have improved over recent years, but I don't think it 'just happens' unless you're very lucky and I had years of getting worse before that too.
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#14
7th October 2011, 18:13
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
not really but i feel a lot more positive today because i went to see a psychiatrist yesterday and hes got the ball rolling.
i waited fkn ages to see a specialist!! its amazing how much paperwork goes missing between hospitals/clinics/GP surgeries! |
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#15
8th October 2011, 10:55
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
no. i've got more daring over the years, worried less about what people think, done things i previously wouldnt have, but my actual SA is no better, and i dont think it will ever get any better. i've had it for soo long and tried everything, cbt / act / meds ..etc.
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#16
8th October 2011, 11:32
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I'm seeing improvements, particularly in the last 6 months or so:
-I can go into a room filled with people and feel very little if any stress. -I can leave the house when ever -My sleep paterns have returned to normal -By myself I'm completely calm (which wasn't the case before, and that was a hellish experience let me tell ya) However, I still have trouble talking to people face to face. That has the ability to seriously stress me out. I have a bad problem with eye contact and strangely walking against a crowd - Walking with one is not to bad for some reason. 
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#17
8th October 2011, 11:43
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
Yes and No
Yes - I've push myself to do things i've struggled with like going to gigs and a big one going to festivals on my own a few years back never looked back since even going to the pub on my own but had a set back the other month... No - Still struggle to use the phone i do answer it when i need too but ringing people/banks/energy companies i do need a hand when i need to ring them....i've tried to tackle it once or twice but my nerves got the better of me  speaking to people in authority is still a problem...
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#18
8th October 2011, 12:09
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
Well, from from 16-17 I used to fantasise about hanging myself from light fittings...I'm certainly better than that now! I only have around 1 depressive spell a year, and now know how to make it better, and how to make it worse.
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#19
8th October 2011, 13:17
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I think there has been improvement in my social skills but than mainly comes down to life experience, eg. realising that smiling helps create a relaxed atmosphere.
In terms of the SA it depends on lots of things, in some areas I am better than before but in others I have regressed significantly. |
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#20
8th October 2011, 14:39
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
Vast improvement. In the past I barely functioned at all. I existed rather than lived. Things never improved on their own though. I use anything and everything that I find helps me, whether it be in a big way or a small way. Genuine self-awareness helps too, and I've learned that over time. We often think that we are self-aware, but in reality we aren't really. We are only aware of what we perceive as our bad points, and are often totally unaware or in denial of the things we have to offer and our qualities. When we bring those into awareness too, we can go easier on ourselves and build a better sense of our own worth. This, in turn, can boost confidence.
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#22
8th October 2011, 15:41
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
no real improvement. some situations have become easier at times, but no matter what i've tried over nearly 20 years has really helped. i hate myself more than ever but as long as my mums alive i have to some how keep functioning and keep working to get money for a life i don't understand or like.
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#24
9th October 2011, 10:37
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
Quote:
 Improvement in terms of SA and how it affects me = yes. I have problems with depression and my moods, which haven't really improved. Stress, pressure, change in routine can all make me feel very depressed, feeling of loss of control, hopelessness, wanting to die... it's not nice. |
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#25
9th October 2011, 11:42
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Re: have you seen improvement over the years
I think my anxiety peaked around 2000-2001, when I first moved down to London. I was in a hopeless state back then, barely even left my house, and had no friends.
I've been steadily improving since then. The last 2-3 years, in particular, have been very good. I now have a regular social life, a decent job, and my own flat. It's getting to the stage where I can actually see light at the end of the tunnel. It takes a lot of work, though. Every day, I have to constantly remind myself to stay focussed, believe in myself, not give a damn what other people think, do things at my own pace, etc. But in many ways, I think I've "cracked" social anxiety - things are gradually falling into place as I learn to re-program my thought patterns, so they become more and more automatic. |
