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  #1  
Old 9th July 2018, 14:39
Random Boo Random Boo is offline
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Default Child-self Murder

Iím just going to put this out thereÖ

Kind of a Ďhow normal is it?í question Ė

Just to clarify firstly, I am far from an aggressive person, never been in a fight, I donít like gore films, donít fantasise about murder or pain onto others.
However - For years now I have fantasised about murdering myself as a child (NOT ADULT).

These images can get quite alarmingly violent, and are triggered by any thoughts about myself as a child. I donít necessarily hate myself now as an adult, but as a child Iím filled with so much hatred.

As a child I never did anything Ďevilí, I was just an embarrassment.

Anyone else get this?
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  #2  
Old 9th July 2018, 16:48
HermannHesse HermannHesse is offline
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Default Re: Child-self Murder

No, and I don't really understand what you mean.

However, it doesn't strike me as particularly rare. I think extreme thoughts are fairly normal for anyone who lets their mind wander. It does indicate some sort of emotion that the brain is playing with, trying to make sense of, perhaps not very well. There is a word for it in psychology, which I can't remember. But it's not uncommon. It's a well-known aspect of the interplay between the reptilian brain and frontal cortex that the brain can conjure up dark thoughts, almost as a way to test its own boundaries and to extract meaning from the extremes of thought: killing parents; throwing your husband under a bus; women smearing jam for their pet dog to enjoy, are some of the more mundane examples.

None of it is very healthy and it should be monitored closely to ensure such delusions don't become a fixation of any sort. But it's not uncommon. Humans are weird. Everyone is secretly insane.
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  #3  
Old 9th July 2018, 23:00
A lump of Excrement A lump of Excrement is offline
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Default Re: Child-self Murder

Just to clarify, as an adult now you imagine meeting your child self and murdering them?
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  #4  
Old 10th July 2018, 10:16
Random Boo Random Boo is offline
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Default Re: Child-self Murder

Quote:
Originally Posted by HermannHesse
No, and I don't really understand what you mean.

However, it doesn't strike me as particularly rare. I think extreme thoughts are fairly normal for anyone who lets their mind wander. It does indicate some sort of emotion that the brain is playing with, trying to make sense of, perhaps not very well. There is a word for it in psychology, which I can't remember. But it's not uncommon. It's a well-known aspect of the interplay between the reptilian brain and frontal cortex that the brain can conjure up dark thoughts, almost as a way to test its own boundaries and to extract meaning from the extremes of thought: killing parents; throwing your husband under a bus; women smearing jam for their pet dog to enjoy, are some of the more mundane examples.

None of it is very healthy and it should be monitored closely to ensure such delusions don't become a fixation of any sort. But it's not uncommon. Humans are weird. Everyone is secretly insane.
I have heard something like that before, about because you're mind makes a big deal about it, you mind is then encouraged to think such thoughts more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by A lump of Excrement
Just to clarify, as an adult now you imagine meeting your child self and murdering them?
Yep, I'll walk into a room and see myself sobbing in a corner for example, but it's the child version of me, wearing clothes that I recognise from when I was younger.
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  #5  
Old 16th July 2018, 12:04
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: Child-self Murder

Yes, if you carry a lot of shame, this is very understandable that you have these recurring thoughts.
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