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  #271  
Old 9th July 2018, 22:00
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ what are you thinking right now thread

The job centre guy today said to me 'you don't come across as anxious at all' (he wasn't being judgy - just conversational). It does annoy me a little though, it's like so you not on the edge of a nervous breakdown so you must be fine.

The nuances of SA really do seem lost on the wider public. The avoidance, the constant worry, the not being able to cope being around folk at times, the negative view of yourself. The visible anxiety is reigned in because of safety behaviours most of the time.
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  #272  
Old 10th July 2018, 20:49
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ what are you thinking right now thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mo34
The job centre guy today said to me 'you don't come across as anxious at all' (he wasn't being judgy - just conversational). It does annoy me a little though, it's like so you not on the edge of a nervous breakdown so you must be fine.

The nuances of SA really do seem lost on the wider public. The avoidance, the constant worry, the not being able to cope being around folk at times, the negative view of yourself. The visible anxiety is reigned in because of safety behaviours most of the time.
Yeah, people have often asked me the same question. How come you are anxious with people when you are fine talking to us?
The thing is answers to questions such as these can never be given with satisfactorily. I find myself answering with 'I don't really know' or 'well it is in an environment I feel comfortable in'.
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  #273  
Old 10th July 2018, 21:16
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ what are you thinking right now thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny88
Yeah, people have often asked me the same question. How come you are anxious with people when you are fine talking to us?
The thing is answers to questions such as these can never be given with satisfactorily. I find myself answering with 'I don't really know' or 'well it is in an environment I feel comfortable in'.
Yeah, off the top of my head I can never give a good answer. Often with me it can be the person, some ppl make me more anxious than others, also the context of the interaction - for instance i had to email my dental practice about my dissatisfaction of the treatment I had, I would not have been able to do this face to face or by phone. Asking for something, or for help I struggle with and so on and on. I can listen to others and talk about others but not so much about myself (I think cause it focuses attention on to me). It does vary from person to person, some folk - usually chatty, open folk I can be fine with.
Other things like say a doc appointment/mental health appointment I can sit and talk with little anxiety cause the interaction is predictable and 'structured'.

It's all these variables that make SA bloody annoying and kind of impossible for (some) other ppl to get.
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  #274  
Old 10th July 2018, 21:49
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ what are you thinking right now thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mo34
Yeah, off the top of my head I can never give a good answer. Often with me it can be the person, some ppl make me more anxious than others, also the context of the interaction - for instance i had to email my dental practice about my dissatisfaction of the treatment I had, I would not have been able to do this face to face or by phone. Asking for something, or for help I struggle with and so on and on. I can listen to others and talk about others but not so much about myself (I think cause it focuses attention on to me). It does vary from person to person, some folk - usually chatty, open folk I can be fine with.

Other things like say a doc appointment/mental health appointment I can sit and talk with little anxiety cause the interaction is predictable and 'structured'.

It's all these variables that make SA bloody annoying and kind of impossible for (some) other ppl to get.
Yep, pretty much the same for me. I mean I do have times where I feel OK talking to people, on days where I'm less absorbed in myself. It feels a tad more natural. Yet other times especially when I have been told in advance, I just can't muster up the courage.
The other day I was at my girlfriends and she said her mam wanted us to go round for dinner. I had to decline and apologise. Then later on we had to go round to help her and I was OK. It's baffling lol
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  #275  
Old 15th July 2018, 00:24
Purplesnarf Purplesnarf is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ what are you thinking right now thread

^ same here about ok talking at times and other days can hardly do it at all.

I've been avoiding Whatsapp for a few days because of this anxious introverted mood. I think I'll bite the bullet and answer the messages tomorrow or maybe Monday but soon it will be done!
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