She's Out of My League / He's Out of My League

[ElektroPunk Mindwarp Jelly]

The poster for a movie titled She's Out of My League currently seen almost everywhere, presents you with a statement, but as a question can one really say that she (or he) is out of their league, is it possible to define a League This also applies to lesbian, gay, bisezxual and transgender

[AnathemA]

Originally Posted by shitmydadsays

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4811790555

More or less obligatory in a thread like this, but quite profound, in its own way.

[José Raúl Capablanca]

I think 'leagues ' are more a self imposed restriction we put on our selfs, that''s not to say I don't fall pray to this myself. I lost my 'V Plates' to a London fashion week Model, **** knows how that happed. Initial attraction is unarguably aesthetically based . But true attraction is something far more capricious .

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

I had a date last weekend and felt she was out of my league in terms of communication skills and social life. As someone else said, "leagues" are self imposed and reflect one's level of confidence I feel.

[AxelFendersson]

Originally Posted by AnathemA

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/4811790555

Wise words indeed.

The idea of leagues is not a completely imaginary one, but it's a terrible over-simplification. Yes, someone very desirable will probably have more suitors. Consequently, yes, you will have more competition and if you aren't anything special, your chances will not be as good as a result.

However, trying to assess variables like that on the fly is a ridiculously unreliable approach to evaluating your chances. Quite aside from anything else, there are too many things that are nigh on impossible to objectively judge for yourself anyway.

There are far better ways to evaluate whether you have a chance with someone. Watching their body language, observing how they make and, especially, break eye contact, all this sort of thing is a much more useful guide than trying to rate yourself against them in some imaginary league system.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

I don't see anyone as 'out of my league'. I just don't see it in those terms. I know there are millions of women who wouldn't bother with me, but there are millions of women I'd not bother with too.

If I thought in terms of 'leagues' I'd never have got any partners. But I don't, and I've had a fair few partners in my time.

Others may think in terms of 'leagues', and may see me as out of theirs, but I don't see myself as out of anyone's league. I only want to be with people who want to be with me too, so the rest don't matter anyway.

If you pitch yourself as being out of someone's league, it's no surprise if/when they see you in that way.

[Winnie57]

I see myself as 'different' from most people though not necessarily in a bad way. So I wouldn't really fit into many people's 'league'. It is an unfortunate way of thinking in my opinion as it implies that some people are better than others. I would prefer to think of some people as being more compatible. Someone who is extremely sexy and desirable might be very aware of the fact and very vain and would not make a nice partner for a less superficial person.

[Detox]

Well people think leagues are one way things.
Personally if there was a woman with a crud personality, massive knockers and all the other things people apparently like, I wouldn't go near her.

Most men would probably dive for the page 3 girl type, but I find them disgusting and ugly if I'm honest. So some people may see them as to high a league for most men, but I see it as their personalities probably suck.... and I don't like big boobs anyway. Small and perky is the way to go!

So basically, people have different likes and dislikes. And leagues are a bunch of crud.

[Peyre]

I think there are certain leagues with regards to appearance. Studies tend to show that people sway towards or eventually end up with people of a similar appearance to themselves.....or to people who's appearance had been rated similar to their partners by thousands of other people.

I dont think there really are leagues with regards to personality, because we all have our strong points in that area. I know for a fact, that I am single now because 1: Chase people that are in a higher physical league to me, and 2. Those people realise that too, despite liking my personality.

[Defiance]

when someone says he's/she's out of my league it usually means that the person is significantly more attractive than them to the point that they feel like they wouldn't stand a chance despite whatever else they have going for them.


these days if i think of someone as out of my league it usually means i don't think my personality will appeal much and/or i don't think i have enough going for me..

[ElektroPunk Mindwarp Jelly]

Originally Posted by Colsey

Personally if there was a woman with a crud personality, massive knockers and all the other things people apparently like, I wouldn't go near her.
Most men would probably dive for the page 3 girl type, but I find them disgusting and ugly if I'm honest. So some people may see them as to high a league for most men, but I see it as their personalities probably suck.... and I don't like big boobs anyway. Small and perky is the way to go!

Best set of quotes of the day

[Kevin Hodge]

i think this is interesting.


attempting to integrate with people more, i have observed that this league concept is quite widespread.

one of the properties of it that puzzles me is, say you fancy someone, lets call her thatcher , but consider them out of your league. fine. couple of weeks down the line, you get a girlfriend, called milk-maid, who you consider to be within your league.


does this indicate that you think thatcher is better than your milk-maid? it seems to me that it does do you then conceal this from milk maid? would you leavy milky for thatcher, given the opportunity? and so on. laaaame


my musings regarding leagues and my placement among them are pretty useless. in accord with the above, i don't see why i should restrict myself to people i don't like as much as others. on the other hand, i view my attraction to someone as if i am dealing them a vile insult

[José Raúl Capablanca]

Originally Posted by ElektroPunk Mindwarp Jelly

Best set of quotes of the day

I actually find this a little offensive that .it seems you define the attractiveness of a women based on her breast assets , to me the world of woman is a fabulous smörgåsbord, petite, buxom , curvy and myriad other forms of female beauty are intriguing to limit yourself in such a way is shallow and your only really denieing yourself the many forms of beuaty that the female form comes in.

Steps off soapbox

[Detox]

Originally Posted by New Dawn Fades

I actually find this a little offensive that .it seems you define the attractiveness of a women based on her breast assets , to me the world of woman is a fabulous smörgåsbord, petite, buxom , curvy and myriad other forms of female beauty are intriguing to limit yourself in such a way is shallow and your only really denieing yourself the many forms of beuaty that the female form comes in.

Steps off soapbox

.... More than a handful is a waste!!

[Kevin Hodge]

Originally Posted by Cynic

+1.

Whatever qualities I may have posessed, most other men have better - and more, to offer. Even on here, women claim I have a vile attitude towards them, yet I've been told often enough and by enough people that I'm too small and insignificant to cause anyone real offence. I do know that if I were to show a girl that I liked her, I would be causing her offence by showing the temerity to think I was good enough for her. Even though I don't do that, I still get accused of showing an offensive attitude. The only conclusion I can reach is that they do it to reinforce my inferiority. After all I'm too small and insignificant to cause any offence, right?!

/rant over.

women are offended because you make repulsive remarks about their genitals, theres nothing more to it than that. and if you offend someone you can always apologise.


and look - if someone says you are too small to cause offense, and someone else says that you have offended them - it doesn't make sense to lump those two unrelated events together and say thats what "people" do to you. people have every right to differ from each other.

its like saying "i went to the bank last week and withdrew money and cashed in £500 worth of one and two pences, before taking out a loan and getting some mortgage advice. then yesterday i went to the corner shop, and they wouldn't cash in my 5 grand worth of 5ps, they wouldn't offer me a loan, wouldn't let me withdraw money, couldn't change me from fixed rate to variable, and on top of that, the guy looked at me like i was a fucking idiot :rolleyes:".

[Defiance]

Cynic, how many people on here have said you are "vile" compared to those who have good things to say about you?

i think i know who said you are "vile" because only one person on here seems to use that word consistantly.


all i can say is that much more people like you on here than hate you so why listen to the haters?

[Kevin Hodge]

Originally Posted by Defiance

Cynic, how many people on here have said you are "vile" compared to those who have good things to say about you?

i think i know who said you are "vile" because only one person on here seems to use that word consistantly.


all i can say is that much more people like you on here than hate you so why listen to the haters?

well someone else just joined in as well

[Detox]

I don't think Cynic is vile.... whoever does just needs to lighten up in my opinon.
Its like on the Smelly partners topic yesterday; we were saying funny phrases and words. Nothing harmful, just good fun.

If that makes him vile then sign me up to, I just have a sense of humour. Some others who take offence to everything just need to get their underwear out of a twist.

And I'm sure not all women think your vile towards them Cynic.
Just because some on here might think that, it just might be that they are not your type compared to someone who likes to have a laugh and use funny words or something.
Be yourself and don't change for anyone.

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by seth brundle

well someone else just joined in as well

that talk guy? ..yeah i've noticed...

[G-1]

I don't really believe in "leagues"... any woman who would think in those terms I am quite frankly not interested in, they're obviously a complete twerp.

[diplodocus]

Originally Posted by AnathemA

"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."

Love that one!

Originally Posted by New Dawn Fades

I think 'leagues ' are more a self imposed restriction we put on our selfs, that''s not to say I don't fall pray to this myself.

Yep. Well to an extent. Certainly anyone fixated with leagues is more than likely limiting themselves.

Originally Posted by afx

As someone else said, "leagues" are self imposed and reflect one's level of confidence I feel.

Definitely. It's funny how your league can change just from feeling more confident.

Originally Posted by AxelFendersson

Wise words indeed.

The idea of leagues is not a completely imaginary one, but it's a terrible over-simplification. Yes, someone very desirable will probably have more suitors. Consequently, yes, you will have more competition and if you aren't anything special, your chances will not be as good as a result.

However, trying to assess variables like that on the fly is a ridiculously unreliable approach to evaluating your chances. Quite aside from anything else, there are too many things that are nigh on impossible to objectively judge for yourself anyway.

There are far better ways to evaluate whether you have a chance with someone. Watching their body language, observing how they make and, especially, break eye contact, all this sort of thing is a much more useful guide than trying to rate yourself against them in some imaginary league system.

Yeah totally agree.

Originally Posted by Peyre

I think there are certain leagues with regards to appearance.

I dont think there really are leagues with regards to personality, because we all have our strong points in that area. I know for a fact, that I am single now because 1: Chase people that are in a higher physical league to me, and 2. Those people realise that too, despite liking my personality.

I agree about looks but I'm not sure I agree with you about personality. Or else why can someone like Magaret Thatcher attract so many male admirers? It certainly wasn't for her looks. And it's far more common that women will fancy guys because of their personality. Just look at the amount of ugly comedians that women fancy. Christ Noel Fielding! Now I'm sure a lot of women will say it's because he is physically attractive but I am sure his personality must influence this tremendously. (Waits for all Noel Fielding fans to lynch me )

Originally Posted by Defiance

when someone says he's/she's out of my league it usually means that the person is significantly more attractive than them to the point that they feel like they wouldn't stand a chance despite whatever else they have going for them.

I think the idea of leagues exist but they are probably more rigidly defined by people with low self-esteem than say someone who has masses of confidence who may have a much higher idea of their league and probably looser then most people might assume just by evaluating their various qualities.

There are negative self-limiting beliefs and there are overly optimistic ones, somewhere in between lies reality.

[Alex76]

Originally Posted by Defiance

that talk guy? ..yeah i've noticed...

Lol yeah, I just noticed that in that basement thread. I think talk is a girl though.

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by Alex76

Lol yeah, I just noticed that in that basement thread. I think talk is a girl though.

talk is a guy imo


also tis a shame the word vile is beccoming popular on here... never liked the word..

[Defiance]

Originally Posted by Cynic

I suspect Talk is a gal.

i must be wrong then as your the second person who said that

[GoldFish]

i'm sort of a bit nerdy in terms of interests, looks, taste in music etc ..there was a girl at work i really liked but she has a boyfriend and he really is what i expected. tall, big, gym junkie, rock climber, tradie type, handy with tools and fixing anything, successful ...

it was a bit of a wake up call in terms of me developing crushes on girls that are out of my league, so i dont have crushes anymore because i've had over 10+ times where its turned out dissapointing or she goes for the typical blokey bloke ..

its pointless even considering asking a girl out unless you've known her for a while and you know her tastes in men ..

[GoldFish]

when i say blokey bloke though i do mean in the sense of handyman around the house, mr fix it and alpha male leadership type qualities which more often then not hail from the baby boomer generation of the 50s/60's, these days its more acceptable to have a broader pallette of tastes and hobbies ....

from what i can tell, studying different courses the times i had the most fun and felt that i was fitting in was when i studied a computer course. everyone was a combination of normal and nerdy but i like people who are different to the norm. or the expected.

computer geeks can have one side that is uber confident and fun and another side that understands social anxiety etc..

[Laura Palmer]

Originally Posted by GoldFish

i'm sort of a bit nerdy in terms of interests, looks, taste in music etc

I'm the same, though I like people who have a broad range of interests.

Originally Posted by Cynic

^Women by nature want a blokey bloke, just like men want girly girls. It's to be expected. I don't get crushes at all either.

That's pigeon-holing people into very narrow-minded boxes, I'm afraid Cynic. People just aren't that simple or black and white.

Originally Posted by GoldFish

these days its more acceptable to have a broader pallette of tastes and hobbies ....

everyone was a combination of normal and nerdy but i like people who are different to the norm. or the expected.

computer geeks can have one side that is uber confident and fun and another side that understands social anxiety etc..

Well, I can't say that I'm a computer geek but I am a music and film geek and have many different interests in various things from art to hillwalking. I don't like when people put themselves into little boxes or categories of what they like. Why can't you be into a broad range of things? I know I am. I find equal pleasure in throwing myself off of a cliff edge into freezing water when I'm canyoning as much as I do as visiting an art gallery; a museum; going to many live gigs or travelling. I don't get the whole thing of if people like this then they can't like that, attitude.

[Laura Palmer]

Originally Posted by Cynic

Most people I've come across are like that too...in that "you're either one of the crowd, or you're not", for example. It may seem narrow minded, but from what I can see, most people prefer to put everyone in boxes.

To be fair, a lot of people do think like that, unfortunatley. :rolleyes: So, yes, I can see where you're coming from

[José Raúl Capablanca]

Originally Posted by Cynic

Most people I've come across are like that too...in that "you're either one of the crowd, or you're not", for example. It may seem narrow minded, but from what I can see, most people prefer to put everyone in boxes.

I'm sorry cynic but do you not think this is just bitterness, I understand it because I often feel it at times . but I thinkk it's just the easy way out , too blame the world for pigeonholing us when really we just give up so it's easyier to place the blame on a broken system rather then try to change our own perception which is the harder and more painful road , but ultimatly the more rewarding

[José Raúl Capablanca]

Originally Posted by Cynic

When you've had a lifetime of being made to feel like shit for being in the same space as others (who, additionally, do have the powers to wipe you off the face of the Earth, but choose not to, just so they can keep you down and ergo, keep kicking you) and having been written off at an early age by the G0ds of society, and condemned to the reject bin, whereby nothing you do or say can be good enough. :rolleyes:

exactly so why not join the motley crew of mentalists , outcasts, and freaks, we're a lot more fun and we have pie. we reject those who reject us.