Internet dating sites

Kitri · #1 20th April 2011, 11:15

The purpose of this thread is to give members an opportunity to discuss the obstacles that internet dating can provide and to use it for relevant advice and support. We kindly ask members to keep following guidelines in mind when using this thread:

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAQ

Advertisements or links for the purpose of dating are not permitted on the public forums. Posts/threads discussing dating (dating sites in particular) will be reviewed on a case by case basis, and will be removed at the Moderators' discretion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAQ

Posts should be as inclusive as possible and not appear to exclude members of the board. To this end, we kindly ask that all users post in English and, where possible, use the PM feature for personal messages. Personal messages within threads may be deleted, at the Moderators' discretion, if they are deemed to exclude other members.

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Thanks again

UkG · #2 20th April 2011, 12:40

Well I give up on internet dating, I cannot be bothered with having to go through the same stages each time, the same initial conversation, then the phonecall, then the worry of whether they'll look like their picture, whether you get on etc.

I had a date last night, stunning girl, definitely the nicest looking girl I've been on a date with just missing something though

Wheelie Bin Bird · #3 20th April 2011, 13:15

Internet dating is the worst....Full of kooks and weirdos. I much prefer the old fashond style of dating.

UkG · #4 20th April 2011, 14:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moomin

^ I know that feeling (something's missing :/).

Where'd you meet her?

We met at TGI for a drink, there was nothing wrong with her, no awkward silences and we had things in common, but it just didn't feel right.

I much prefer meeting people in person because to be honest online I've found I might be drawn to a certain type of person but when I meet them I realise that had it not been for a dating site, I would never be drawn to them in person.

In person I like that someones personality can draw you in, whereas online it's more looks.

Funnily enough in person looks don't really do it, infact even if someone technically looks good, if they have a bad personality they look ugly to me.

UkG · #5 20th April 2011, 15:37

Ok pof is now deleted, my last resort is ok cupid.

Am I right in assuming that the only real free alternative is okcupid?

Despite what I've said about internet dating I'm trying one last time.

diplodocus · #6 20th April 2011, 17:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

I much prefer meeting people in person because to be honest online I've found I might be drawn to a certain type of person but when I meet them I realise that had it not been for a dating site, I would never be drawn to them in person.

In person I like that someones personality can draw you in, whereas online it's more looks.

Funnily enough in person looks don't really do it, infact even if someone technically looks good, if they have a bad personality they look ugly to me.

I can totally relate to this. If you don't click then it doesn't matter how good looking they are and there is only so much you can get from a profile.

Wings · #7 20th April 2011, 18:32

i think match.com is the other popular site. not sure if they have the offer anymore but it used to be if you don't find love in 6 months they give you another 6 months for free

i don't like okcupid that much because i think the % rating system limits people

UkG · #8 20th April 2011, 18:36

Match.com is a paid site though isn't it?

And I would never pay anything in the hope of meeting someone.

I have to say I find pof an Cupid are extreme opposites, pof is full of Slags, chavs and single mums.

Cupid is full of intellectuals and goths.

I have nothing against any of the above but I don't fit into any of the above.

Defiance · #9 20th April 2011, 18:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

Match.com is a paid site though isn't it?

And I would never pay anything in the hope of meeting someone.

I have to say I find pof an Cupid are extreme opposites, pof is full of Slags, chavs and single mums.

Cupid is full of intellectuals and goths.

I have nothing against any of the above but I don't fit into any of the above.

that what puts me off going on there. I very much doubt i'd appeal much to them sorts of women, and tbh intellectuals and goths don't appeal that much to me either.

Wings · #10 20th April 2011, 18:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

Match.com is a paid site though isn't it?

And I would never pay anything in the hope of meeting someone.

I have to say I find pof an Cupid are extreme opposites, pof is full of Slags, chavs and single mums.

Cupid is full of intellectuals and goths.

I have nothing against any of the above but I don't fit into any of the above.

yeah but if you buy someone a drink/pay for a meal, you're sort of "paying to meet someone" isn't it?

okcupid standards are somewhat higher i think. there was a guy who messaged me and on his profile he specified his preference as "you will have 700+ photos tagged on facebook"

wlien · #11 20th April 2011, 19:07

Rather than dating sites I've moved to chat rooms, I use www.ukchatterbox.co.uk, I can talk to girls in the chat room and get to know them in a non-threatening way. UKChatterbox shoes who is male and who is female and there are local rooms for each city/town.

UkG · #12 20th April 2011, 19:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defiance

that what puts me off going on there. I very much doubt i'd appeal much to them sorts of women, and tbh intellectuals and goths don't appeal that much to me either.

Well I've deleted okcupid, I just can't get on with it, maybe it's just where I'm used to everything the way it's laid out on pof.

Quote:

Originally Posted by d1n9

yeah but if you buy someone a drink/pay for a meal, you're sort of "paying to meet someone" isn't it?

okcupid standards are somewhat higher i think. there was a guy who messaged me and on his profile he specified his preference as "you will have 700+ photos tagged on facebook"

Yeah but with a paid site, I'd have to pay to get a date then pay on the date.

I'd rather just pay on the date.

Well I've been indecisive again and have deleted okcupid, and signed up again on pof

yes I know I'm nuts

Anyway this time I'm going on the offensive and messaging people.

Let's see how much my pride get's destroyed

Wings · #13 20th April 2011, 19:39

good luck!

i probably need to do the same and start messaging people

ponder · #14 20th April 2011, 19:42

I've been looking at this but can't seem to get over the hurdle of sending the first message - how do you start? Does anyone have any examples?

UkG · #15 20th April 2011, 19:50

Well I've been picking something from their profile and using that as an ice breaker.

Whatever you do try an be original, do not just say hi on the subject line.

These females even the ugly ones have like 30 messages after about half hour of logging in, and they need something that stands out from the other 29 messages.

Well my pride is being hurt already, I know it sounds bad but I messaged two people who in my mind were uglier than I am, and they viewed my profile and didn't reply

Ah well I'll message two more who I think I'll have no chance with and see how I get on.

Wings · #16 20th April 2011, 19:56

^ have some patience, lol

maybe like me those women just viewed your profile for now and intend to reply later

i don't like the thing that tells you if they deleted your message, i never look at it

i just signed up to match- it wants £77!

UkG · #17 20th April 2011, 20:00

£77 **** that, I wouldn't even pay 7 quid lol

I wish pof still had that feature where you can see whether it's unread/deleted etc

You have to pay, and it wouldn't surprise me if eventually it becomes a fully paid site

Defiance · #18 20th April 2011, 20:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

Well my pride is being hurt already, I know it sounds bad but I messaged two people who in my mind were uglier than I am, and they viewed my profile and didn't reply

you're lucky. most don't even view my profile

keep messaging though. you're bound to have a better reply rate than me.

UkG · #19 20th April 2011, 20:06

I've still only done the two. I'm going to do 6 and see if the 1 in 3 thing is true.

It's actually bugging the hell out of me that one in particular didn't reply, she wasn't even my type.

I just assumed she'd reply lol

God I sound so shallow....

Seriously though, I find that some females on there let it go to their head, because they get a few messages they start thinking they are nicer than they actually are.

Wings · #20 20th April 2011, 20:07

has that function become paid members only? didn't realise. i never used it before anyways.

wasn't there a dating site where the men have to pay a £200 subscription fee and the women have to submit their photo for assessment by a panel of judges.. i remember trying to sign up for it before thinking who am i kidding i'll never qualify!

really struggling as to whether i should pay the £77

Mr. Nobody · #21 20th April 2011, 20:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

Well my pride is being hurt already, I know it sounds bad but I messaged two people who in my mind were uglier than I am, and they viewed my profile and didn't reply

.

perhaps they find good looking people a little intimidating and think " out of my league",...I know I often do,... bit of an SA trait I fear,..

if someone considers themselves better looking than you,.. sooner or later they may hang that over you, perhaps these people are sparing themselves that potential ordeal ?

Defiance · #22 20th April 2011, 20:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

I've still only done the two. I'm going to do 6 and see if the 1 in 3 thing is true.

It's actually bugging the hell out of me that one in particular didn't reply, she wasn't even my type.

I just assumed she'd reply lol

God I sound so shallow....

that's the thing.

can't help but feel a little huh? when you dont even fancy them that much and they dont reply. atleast if they're really really attractive you can think to yourself, yeah i was probably not her type and she probably went for someone better looking as she's better looking herself, but when the girl isn't even all that and they dont reply your left feeling a bit like ...shit?, not even the mid-level girls are replying to me..

keep messaging though. i doubt anyone is gonna have a reply rate worse than me on there lol...

edit: but hey, i know someone who might reply .. you could always try message that "sexy" girl you just showed me :P haha

Azi · #23 20th April 2011, 20:28

Maybe these women aren't responding to your looks, but whether they 'click' with the personality you're presenting on your profile.

UkG · #24 20th April 2011, 20:35

Seriously it's really getting me insecure.

That is the exact reason I don't normally message people as rejection hurts me.

I normally take the ignorance is bliss approach.

Now when someone doesn't message I'm thinking of a variety of reasons why, was it my looks, profile etc.

It's not like I can message and ask why there was no reply lol

Defiance · #25 20th April 2011, 20:42

i still recon if you messaged 10 you'd get atleast 1 reply.

it's only me who has the shitty reply rates.

UkG · #26 20th April 2011, 20:56

If I only get 1 reply my self esteem is going to be in bits.

I wish I didn't care about rejection and what people thought

Defiance · #27 20th April 2011, 20:59

how much have you messaged so far?

Johnni · #28 20th April 2011, 21:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by UkG

Match.com is a paid site though isn't it?

And I would never pay anything in the hope of meeting someone.

I have to say I find pof an Cupid are extreme opposites, pof is full of Slags, chavs and single mums.

Cupid is full of intellectuals and goths.

I have nothing against any of the above but I don't fit into any of the above.

I was gonna say pay for it and give it a go for a month or so but Match has become very expensive since i last went on there.
I think you're limited with completely free sites as i presume that a large % of those that go on the free sites are'nt as serious about finding someone compared to someone who just forked out 20 quid for a months subscription.

UkG · #29 20th April 2011, 21:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defiance

how much have you messaged so far?

Still just two.

I can't do anymore, I have a real issue with insecurity, twos enough now.

UkG · #30 20th April 2011, 21:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnni

I was gonna say pay for it and give it a go for a month or so but Match has become very expensive since i last went on there.
I think you're limited with completely free sites as i presume that a large % of those that go on the free sites are'nt as serious about finding someone compared to someone who just forked out 20 quid for a months subscription.

Yeah I'd agree with that, although i feel for me personally paying is a last resort.