Getting a job when crippled by social anxiety?

[Willbrr94]

I am 21, an undergraduate student of Psychology. I would like to get a job quite badly, firstly to earn money and also to understand how well i deal with these issues in a professional setting. Bringing myself to apply for jobs is sometimes very difficult because ive convinced myself i will fail. What kinds of jobs are good to start off doing if anxiety severely disrupts your day to day functioning?

Thanks for the help, Willbrr94

[Hollie]

I'll be in a similar situation this time next year, when I need to look for work after I finish my degree. Interested in seeing what people suggest

[Amplexor]

I'm in a similar boat, I'm a mature student and unemployed. It's sh*t. I tend to apply for jobs where I don't have to interact with many people such as a postman, factory work, chef, cleaner, housemaid, carer etc.

It's only while you're at uni so it doesn't matter if it's a sh*t job.

[Shining*]

I avoided work for years because of my severe anxiety, then one day the thought of having the bare minimum for the rest of my life really got me down. I got a job in a supermarket, i hate it, i still hate it. I'm pretty much considered the Morrisons oddball that can't look or talk to anyone. But you now what? I don't care anymore, i'm not going to let it get in the way of having a bit of what everyone else has out of life. You would thin a Supermarket would be the absolute worst for SA, but the customers i can deal with as i never have to talk to them for more than a minute or so, and thats about as far as my social skills go, especially when they are asking specific things, that's easy. Its the idiots that i work with on a day to day basis that make it hard. Building relationships with people is one of the things i hate having to do, if i had my way i would be a mute. Luckily i do nights now, there are still some people i have to deal with but nowhere near as many and i work alone so i guess thats as good as it can get for someone like me

[EddieVedder]

Great posts Shining and Johnny88. I admire your determination. Don't let the ****ers get you down. I'm the same with work. it's the total cretins you have to work with who think the world revolves around X Factor and shite rappers that get on my nerves. Try and introduce a topic more worthy of passing time and you're screwed.

Small talk is fine to a point but there's only so far you can go with "Going away this year?" - Answer, "Yes, Magaluf". Replace Magaluf with Ibiza, Benidorm, et al, they're all dull as hell and leave you nothing to expand upon. Now if someone said, "The Faroe Islands" then i'd be on them like a rash! WOW! SOMEWHERE INTERESTING FOR A CHANGE!!

Same with music. Ask someone what they like and it's all chart shite or r&b and rap stuff. Fair enough i'm into metal/alternative but I like loads of other stuff too. It just seems that people that are into this stuff are into it at the exclusivity of everything else. You can't click into a conversation with that either.

Football is my saviour as I can go on about it for days and usually you can find a bloke or two who likes it but then it's usually someone who 'supports' a Prem team like Man Utd but never goes to the games. I support a lower league side and the differences between someone like the Man Utd fan are that I actually GO to games home and away AND I know about the Premier League (as they do) but I also know about every other league below and non league 2 so conversation soon gets a bit sterile.

I'm not saying I'm a super intelligent bloke but just that I have a few topics of conversation to try and get something going with a new person and if they don't work then I switch off and find i'm not in the slightest bit interested that they love going to Nando's on a Friday night.

I'm an ordinary bloke who tries really hard to get on with folk but it's the meaningless small talk that sends me out alone in my car for dinner usually. Partly because I get a bit anxious although I can deal with it uncomfortably but also partly because lots of people I find a bit easy to predict and I can't be arsed with tedious pleasantries (although I seem to spend most of my time engaged in them ).

I guess someone who hates football but loves listening to Drake whilst reading 50 Shades of flamin' Grey sat around a pool in Benidorm drinking Sol isn't going to be my best mate.

Someone who loves football and listening to Sigur Ros whilst relaxing in the Blue Lagoon in Reykjavik whilst sipping Brennvin is likely to encourage me to get to know them.

So really, it's not the jobs that are shite, it's a lot of the people who you work with that make it so. Hey, i'm sure my erstwhile colleagues think the same as me but like Shining says, who cares?

[EddieVedder]

Apologies for the slight rant but you do what you need to do like Johnny says. It's grim and it's hell but some things have to be done if you want to get where you want to be. I'm nowhere near there yet and probably never will be but I have to try. I also must apologise to anyone who DOES actually like Drake and go to Benidorm. Each to their own and I shouldn't judge, just that we're not compatible. I don't wish to come across unfair, cruel and judgemental.

[flumpsy]

There was a thread about a month ago on this with a few suggestions, it is worth digging out.

I tried quite a few things, most of which I would not suggest for anybody with SA. Night security/reception was ok, it involved ordering cabs and getting pizzas for folks so a bit of interaction, but to move up involved far more social interaction, so I ended up making excuses and leaving.

Eventually I started an internet based firm from home, in fact a few, which works really well with SA, some businesses you can even get away without a phone line. However, if you do well, you will need to grow, which throws you into the employER role. Which is very tough with SA.

Being an ebay seller works too although do not try this if you are a hoarder !! The profits are less than they used to be but its fun, very varied, requires some interaction (buying from charity shops, bootsales and going to a post office) but these can be done on your own terms, on days where you feel up to it. You can combine it with hobbies and if you use an existing skill (or develop a new one) the profits jump. I started random and ended up mainly buying watches, repairing them and reselling them working.

[EddieVedder]

Also Stock Collecting for charities. There are some paid positions. All you do is go round houses and drop off bin bags and return a few days later to collect them and take them into the charity shop. You spend time outdoors on your own, greeting the odd person on your terms and are doing something good too. You can earn quite a bit.

[flumpsy]

^ charity shops collect ? I didnt know that, I throw perfectly good stuff away when I cant handle going in. Is this possible without actually meeting the deliverer ? Ie, I leave it outside my house ? Anything left outside the shop gets nicked or destroyed by the morning.

Sorry to go off topic, pm me if you prefer EddieVedder.

[EddieVedder]

Sent you a PM flumpsy. Johnny, I haven't seen the duet with RW. Where can I hear it?

[applecore]

Originally Posted by Amplexor

I tend to apply for jobs where I don't have to interact with many people such as a postman, factory work, chef, cleaner, housemaid, carer etc.

Heh, I've done that kind of work too. Postman, cleaner, dishwasher. Hospital cleaner wasn't too bad, because you're pretty anonymous. The patients generally don't even see you.

I'm thinking of studying massage, but in a way it doesn't seem worth bothering, because my customer care skills are so poor. I am fine with the massage part, probably, but I'd find it really hard saying, 'hello' and 'please lie down' or whatever. I'm horribly awkward. Might as well just become a shelf-stacker, I can do that with my minimal social skills.

[Banjo23]

Originally Posted by Willbrr94

I am 21, an undergraduate student of Psychology. I would like to get a job quite badly, firstly to earn money and also to understand how well i deal with these issues in a professional setting. Bringing myself to apply for jobs is sometimes very difficult because ive convinced myself i will fail. What kinds of jobs are good to start off doing if anxiety severely disrupts your day to day functioning?

Thanks for the help, Willbrr94

Will, I was in the same position as you 5 years ago. Got a very good degree and had no intention of using it due to the anxiety. I had companies wanting to speak to me, offering me really good jobs left, right and centre. I didn't even consider the idea of taking one...why? What would be the point, I had no self confidence and wouldn't be able to do it. 5 years on I am in a position where I have 3 job offers all relavant to my degree and i'm having the exact same thoughts as all those years ago. If you can tackle it now, you can look back and be proud you tried, even if it doesn't go to plan. I pretty much lost 5 years of earnings and have seen all my friends get houses, go on holidays, start families whilst I live at home still. I have a chance to try again now and will go for it otherwise the regret is just as crippling for me as the anxiety is.

I obviously worked in less anxiety inducing jobs when I left uni...the best one for me was delivery driver. I also did temping in factories where I was surrounded by pretty horrible people..again not the place you'd want to be.

Go for it, get a good undergraduate job. If it all gets too much then you know you tried as the regret of not trying will most likely make you feel awful itself. PM me if you want to talk more.

[GoldFish]

In my experience working in departments is difficult depending on the personalities you are stuck with. For instance I work with very chatty, super confident, narcissistic, bossy types of people and they are very good at sarcasm, wit, communication and it's very intense and intimidating being in that sort of work environment. You do learn some things but I am most definitely not a personality match for the place I work at...

The only reason I'm still there is because I work hard and they like the fact that I get a lot done so they can do less themselves...

It gives me a wage..

However I now realise that many jobs that require promotion and climbing the ladder require very good communication skills, good people skills, you need to have a quick wit and many people in those roles are super confident..are not afraid to be bossy or to show their huge egos.

I now know that I am probably going to struggle to cement a secure career because I have too many personality flaws especially under pressure at work, around heriarchy or in environments that are competitive and high pressure, I just become jelly and I really struggle at people skills and communication because I'm never relaxed, which is sort of a catch 22.

I would do ok in a group of 2-3 people or working on my own though..this is what I need to do for the next job, something in a small group or my own work...because so far working in departments or amongst the traditional organisation is too hard. Too political and managers play favourites. If they like you a lot for your great communication skills or you're good looking etc then you'll be a favourite.

[Sphinx]

Every job I've ever tried I haven't been able to cope with the social aspect of it. I am crippled by anxiety and don't know what to do. I have no confidence in my ability to do anything, even cleaning or shelf stacking.

Just realised that's horribly negative, and not much use, but you are not alone! It's good that many people find ways of coping.

[Dannysbabe]

Originally Posted by EddieVedder

Great posts Shining and Johnny88. I admire your determination. Don't let the ****ers get you down. I'm the same with work. it's the total cretins you have to work with who think the world revolves around X Factor and shite rappers that get on my nerves. Try and introduce a topic more worthy of passing time and you're screwed.

Small talk is fine to a point but there's only so far you can go with "Going away this year?" - Answer, "Yes, Magaluf". Replace Magaluf with Ibiza, Benidorm, et al, they're all dull as hell and leave you nothing to expand upon. Now if someone said, "The Faroe Islands" then i'd be on them like a rash! WOW! SOMEWHERE INTERESTING FOR A CHANGE!!

Same with music. Ask someone what they like and it's all chart shite or r&b and rap stuff. Fair enough i'm into metal/alternative but I like loads of other stuff too. It just seems that people that are into this stuff are into it at the exclusivity of everything else. You can't click into a conversation with that either.

Football is my saviour as I can go on about it for days and usually you can find a bloke or two who likes it but then it's usually someone who 'supports' a Prem team like Man Utd but never goes to the games. I support a lower league side and the differences between someone like the Man Utd fan are that I actually GO to games home and away AND I know about the Premier League (as they do) but I also know about every other league below and non league 2 so conversation soon gets a bit sterile.

I'm not saying I'm a super intelligent bloke but just that I have a few topics of conversation to try and get something going with a new person and if they don't work then I switch off and find i'm not in the slightest bit interested that they love going to Nando's on a Friday night.

I'm an ordinary bloke who tries really hard to get on with folk but it's the meaningless small talk that sends me out alone in my car for dinner usually. Partly because I get a bit anxious although I can deal with it uncomfortably but also partly because lots of people I find a bit easy to predict and I can't be arsed with tedious pleasantries (although I seem to spend most of my time engaged in them ).

I guess someone who hates football but loves listening to Drake whilst reading 50 Shades of flamin' Grey sat around a pool in Benidorm drinking Sol isn't going to be my best mate.

Someone who loves football and listening to Sigur Ros whilst relaxing in the Blue Lagoon in Reykjavik whilst sipping Brennvin is likely to encourage me to get to know them.

So really, it's not the jobs that are shite, it's a lot of the people who you work with that make it so. Hey, i'm sure my erstwhile colleagues think the same as me but like Shining says, who cares?

Great post! Are you my fiancé in disguise, he could have written that pretty much word for word

[Dannysbabe]

Originally Posted by Sphinx

Every job I've ever tried I haven't been able to cope with the social aspect of it. I am crippled by anxiety and don't know what to do. I have no confidence in my ability to do anything, even cleaning or shelf stacking.

I'm the same Sphinx, I even struggled recently with one afternoon a week voluntary job, one bossy old bag really p****d me off having a go at me for something harmless that several other volunteers were also doing! If it wasn't for the people I'd be fine

[socialreject-]

Most people speak Polish to eachother at the work places I have recently worked at so it is sort of a good thing when you think about it.

[Sphinx]

Originally Posted by Dannysbabe

I'm the same Sphinx, I even struggled recently with one afternoon a week voluntary job, one bossy old bag really p****d me off having a go at me for something harmless that several other volunteers were also doing! If it wasn't for the people I'd be fine

Horrible isn't it. It's a shame there seem to be no jobs where you can just get on with it and be left alone.