How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Tembo]

I’ve probably said this exact thing before, but the depression I’ve had this week seems to be worse than ever before. Finding absolutely no joy in anything. I feel incredibly alienated from the rest of society, when really id like to participate. Everything in my life… isn’t bad, but is just MEH. Nothing special. Nothing exciting.
And I’m finding the fact I’m a 30 year old living with my mum with no relationship experience a little pathetic.

[biscuits]

^ sorry to read that you're feeling this way it's awful to have that stuck in the mud feeling. Much like the children's game, I hope someone runs under your arms or crawls through your legs to set you free. (This sounds weirder when typed out than how it came across in my head!) It can be a helpful way to looks at it - that situations and feelings may be there for a while but we can move through them with some support and it might take a while or there may always be things that we struggle with and barriers that we come up against.

It might be worth looking in getting into some counselling to help with the stuck feeling mindset. Does your work offer an employee support programme? Just thinking it'll be quicker than the NHS. From an outside perspective, you're a likeable and good guy. I mean you took the time to talk me through planning a holiday and you didn't need to do that for some strange bird on t'internet. So I have this feeling that you are stuck but that something will run under your arms to free you and when it does you'll be soaring.

[biscuits]

@TD,P this is not going to help in any way shape or form, but I'm eager for you to try this: https://www.social-anxiety-community...ad.php?t=96086 as you have the longest username!

Originally Posted by Bluebear

Irritated

Has something happened, BB? I don't often get irritated but when I do it's uncomfortable because it takes a lot! Hope it's eased off now and the irritant has ceased irritation.

[Tembo]

^^ thank you biscuits for your support. I’m a bit embarrassed I posted that now, as I tend to do it every couple of months or so and it tends to sound the same.
I do like your ‘stuck in the mud’ analogy! Although I do hope that mud doesn’t turn into concrete.
My employer does have a health plan for all employees which can be used. Though I understand that they usually take a long time. Although I doubt it would be as long a wait as the unreliable NHS, so it could be worth a try!

I haven’t forgotten about your advice to try out one of the board games shops - I do hope to try that this year, but feel it would take me a lot to give it a go.

[Lee S]

Nervous. Waiting for Argos delivery people to bring me a new mattress. Hope they are not too chatty

[Lee S]

Gah, paid Argos £30 to recycle my old mattress but when they came with the new one the driver said they had no record of the recycling booking, even though I showed him the receipt on my laptop, and that it had been booked and paid for six days ago. So now I will have to phone them (oh god) to get a refund and get the council to take it. Meanwhile, it's wrapped in plastic bags outside. I swear Argos are getting bloody worse all the time. Felt so frustrated and pissed off. Nothing seems to go right lately

[Lee S]

Waste of time....

[Dougella]

^^ Oh no, and making you now have to make a phonecall. Hope you get your £30 back! Although i hope your new mattress is comfortable?

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^^ Oh no, and making you now have to make a phonecall. Hope you get your £30 back! Although i hope your new mattress is comfortable?

I know. I absolutely hate making phone calls. I'm honestly thinking of letting them keep the money just so I don't have to go through the SA agony of phoning but it irks me very much. The new mattress is an orthopedic one. I found my old one to be too soft and it made me ache. The new one is firm but supportive. It will take me a while to get used to it but it seems fine thanks.

[BFG_]

^does anyone still complain via phone? Can you email them? Or tweet.

[Lee S]

^ I just managed to get a full refund by using Argos live online chat. I had to talk to a bot at first but a real person soon came along. Feel a bit happier.

[Dougella]

^ Great

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^ Great

[Jen.]

Originally Posted by sophie79

Good luck Jen, I can imagine the dread you're experiencing. Once it's over you can treat yourself for getting through it. It's always the case the anxiety raises as things get closer. At least being so soon you aren't left with it hanging over you for weeks.

Originally Posted by Dougella

^^ Good luck! Maybe after one or two you'll be more used to the process and the anxiety might reduce somewhat. I'm sorry it's so bad right now though. You might be surprised and get one of the jobs so not have to go through any more!

Thanks. The one on Thursday felt like it went well - I thought it would be awful being grilled by three people, but they were very nice and I'd looked them up before I arrived in order to feel somewhat familiar (and went through two of their Instagram accounts lol). It only took 30 minutes to go through their questions, but then the last 30 minutes was just chatting. The one on Friday was quite a struggle, I felt like I was repeating myself a few times when I couldn't think what to say and it ended about 15 minutes before the time was up. There were only two on the panel that time, but it somehow felt more intimidating.

I got a call on Friday telling me I was successful with the first one

I asked if I could have the weekend to think about it so that I wouldn't sound desperate even though I knew I'd say yes, then I had the panic of when I could start since I have about five weeks of holidays booked over the next few months and in the interview I said I had no notice to give since I'm self-employed. They said it wouldn't be possible to get that much time off since I'd be starting half way through the annual leave calendar, so after a bit of emailing back and forth yesterday they've now said it will be fine to start in June (so at least that's far enough away for all the upcoming anxiety about it all to be put to one side for now).

[Dougella]

^ Well done!

[genovese]

Originally Posted by Jen.

I got a call on Friday telling me I was successful ).

Nice one!

[Lee S]

Well done, Jen!

[sophie79]

Congratulations Jen, your efforts have paid off with a job!

It's the most bittersweet feeling landing a job. There's a line in a Smith's song that explains it well.

[Tubbs]

Go Jen! Congrats, that's great going!

[NeverWas]

I'm really disillusioned with cardigans.

[Appear]

^ The unkept promises of knitwear are at least partially responsible for my bouts of Weltschmerz.


Mentally restless, listless, itchy. I sometimes wonder if I've got ADHD but it's like the air frier of mental health issues at the moment, so I won't be looking into it.

[Merritt]

Feel more and more like I'm trying to get some comfort and warmth from a dying ember, alternating between 'This is okay! At least it's something!' and 'It's going to snuff out at any moment and I'm not even remotely prepared for the darkness and cold'

[sophie79]

The most hectic work week of the year is behind me. 10 hour days with insomnia wasn't much fun. It's Saturday and I feel sense of calm that is refreshing.

[biscuits]

^ this has immediately put Elton John's I'm Still Standing in my head.

That sounds intense! Hope you can get some down time this weekend?

[anxiouslondoner]

Finding it hard to break my silence, but here goes nothing I guess.
i've not really felt like posting in a while. Can't really explain.
I've had some kind of fever since Wednesday, migraines, temperature etc which has left me unable to do anything. I can barely sleep, feeling far too hot and sweating profusely. It is a miserable time. In addition to thinking I might be losing my job this week in what can only be described as a level of massive corporate cack-handedness and insensitivity (spoiler: I'm OK, but they could have just told me that)
Those are my woes.

[biscuits]

^ hope that nasty sounding illness goes away soon, al.

Oh no, that is rubbishy about your job. The anticipation and uncertainty must feel torturous. Not knowing what will be is a really hard situation to be in. In some ways it's good to know sooner, so hopefully they let you know as soon as possible.

p.s. you've been missed

[Dougella]

^^ Aw, it's nice to see you posting again AL but sorry you're going through so much. Did you do a COVID test? (Probably a silly question, but always worth ruling it out.)
That's very worrying about your job, I hope everything works out ok.

[anxiouslondoner]

Thanks. I'm still not fully mended but am trying to do some light procrastination today.
My job is apparently safe. It only took five hours of waiting to see if an email arrived, then checking down the back of the email spam sofa to make sure it hadn't got classified as junk, then finally getting official confirmation from my boss that I was OK.
I am waking up with a headache and trying to consume only the recommended dose of ibuprofen to get rid of it. It's not Covid apparently, I used an old unexpired test kit and came up negative for that.

[Dougella]

^ That's good news about your job, but sorry they put you through all that stress!

If you have any paracetamol that could help, maybe. Also make sure you're drinking lots of fluids

[magnolia]

Shocked. I still can't believe it.
So a bloke who's been working at us since the summer has been suspended.
He was an ex copper. Did 20 years in the police.
Turns out the police are investigating him for ' revenge porn'. He was on the programme 'To catch a copper' the other day.

So the company I work for have suspended him while he's being investigated....

He seemed a really nice chap to me, he was always polite to me. What he's being accused of is awful and I don't excuse his behaviour but when it's someone you know you're just like...oh my god