Don't want a housewarming party

[Spider22324]

Exciting times are coming, as I've finally managed to buy my own flat and I'll be getting the keys in the next few days.

Everyone in my workplace is happy for me, but a couple of people have asked me if I'm going to be having a housewarming party. That is a big no-no for me, as I just want to get the keys, get the place furnished with my parents' help, and settle down. Overall, I simply don't want a housewarming.

One of my colleagues actually seems to be really keen to come to the flat for some kind of party/celebration, as the last time he spoke to me about it, he seemed really eager and borderline insistent. I can't remember what my exact reaction was, but I think I just chuckled a bit and somehow managed to change the subject. And today, another colleague asked if I'll be having a housewarming party with my friends. I just nervously replied with something along the lines of, "Not sure yet." I actually don't have any friends and I'm perfectly happy this way, but I didn't tell her that.

As the days go by, I have a feeling that the housewarming subject will get brought up more often and I don't know if I should just tell my colleagues that I don't want a housewarming or just make something up.

[Copernicium]

Just tell them you will be far too busy with trying to get everything sorted out and settling in to bother with a party. If they carry on being insistent tell them that if they want a party so badly they can have one at their house. You're not stopping them.

The bottom line is that it's time to stop caring what they think.

[Dougella]

That's great, congratulations! There's no need to have a housewarming party, when my partner and i moved into our flat we didn't, I never would have wanted to do anything like that.

It's ok to just say to your colleague that you're not having a party and it's just not your thing, but if they keep being insistent you can always say there's a bit of work to do on the flat first and then you'll see (with no intention of actually having one ofcourse).

[Moksha]

It’s classic SA. I mean that fear of upsetting people or saying no. If you simply tell them you’ve got too much on, or just can’t be bothered, in a day or two they’ll forget. We (and I’m including myself) always assume others care more than they do. Don’t worry spider, most people have enough stress and worries to keep them occupied. They aren’t going to hold it against you!

Also, when you tell them, don’t be too apologetic. It always backfires. Some people are so obnoxious, arrogant and rude that they will make you feel like you’ve done something wrong. And the more apologetic you are, the more they will ridicule or attack you.

[Kipper]

Tell them there's a lot to sort out in the flat which is likely to take a long time and you'll get back to them about a flat warming event at some point in the future. They'll pretty soon forget and stop hassling you for a party.
I had this when I first left home aeons ago and set up on my own for the first time. Eventually my work colleagues gave up asking.
Please don't feel pressured into doing what you don't want to do, just to shut them up. It is after all a subtle form of bullying.

[Seagull]

You’d be surprised at how many non-SAers also don’t want, didn’t have, wouldn’t countenance having a house warming thang and didn’t think to neurotically concern themselves with what others would think about that. (Not a dig at the OP btw). I certainly know several non-SAers who brought property/moved house and never considered a house warming.

[Effinuck]

You are perfectly entitled to tell them that you don't want to have a house warming. Don't feel bad, it's your house and your decision. You won't be letting anyone down. People who don't suffer from anxiety, really have no concept of how it can affect someone's life and how we can crave peace and quite. It might seem completely normal for them to have a big party and show off their new place, but for anxiety sufferers, our homes are our sanctuary. We want to escape in our home, not be under the pressure of needing to entertain or be the centre of attention. It's also a fact that many people are nosey and just want to get a look at your new place!

[Formershyguy]

Well one good thing about this lockdown is there is no way you'll have that house warming party now!