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  #1  
Old 9th June 2007, 23:23
Bex Bex is offline
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Default Practise is Key

I joined the site at the beginning of the year and began it with one mission and one mission only- that I could no longer be a victim.

I have only ever been a victim of SA and to be honest it has never sat well with who I truly am. I have achieved, travelled, become educated, worked hard, made friends, loved (and lost!), laughed and laughed some more.

However, I have lived with SA for so long that I look back and despite doing all of the above, I did it all and much more with fear trailing closely behind me, and more recently riding right on the back of me!!!!

I did a questionnaire 6 months ago and scored 'moderate' as my labelled level of misery. I did it again and again I scored 'Moderate'!!!! Hmm...... I was truly baffled at how my nightmare was surmised as moderate.......mediocre...... of average suffering.

Then it dawned on me; something far worse was to come. It was getting worse and it would not stop.

So, in short, I gave up smoking weed, coffee, reduced my alcohol consumption, started exercising and list goes on. These things helped and it was a good start but serious action was needed....... the worse thing of all......facing my fears. I read a book and learnt techniques such as abdominal breathing, 'expecting' anxiety so it felt like less like attack, understanding and feeling anxiety go up and down...feeling it start and knowing it would stop. Finally I put my trust in me.... my ability to induce the calming response.... the opposite of anxiety.....

So I started practising, small things that bothered me and moved on to bigger things. Practise, practise, practise...... practising gave me the squits...literally!

I'm still practising (my bodily functions a little better now) and know I have a long way to go. But the anxiety does go away...sometimes immediately with some things and gradually with others.

I have had setbacks but you know what, they have shown me one thing.... that I am no longer standing still.

Last week I had the best night sleep ever...free from fear, anxiety, anticipation, dread...... of course it tried to pull me under again the very next day, but I expected nothing less!!!!
  #2  
Old 10th June 2007, 00:24
Winnie57 Winnie57 is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

It sounds like you've been working really hard Bex - well done
  #3  
Old 10th June 2007, 00:30
Pal Pal is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterCaster
Fill me in on the abdominal exercises and mental exerices that you do.

Really this is what SAUK should be about, being proactive and being determined in making anxiety less of a driving force and more of a lovable flatmate.
Indeed.

It would be easier if we all lived nearby though so we could support each other but sadly can't easily be done.

There aren't many SAUK peeps who live near me, shame really i'd quite like to have set up a support club.
  #4  
Old 10th June 2007, 21:40
Bex Bex is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterCaster
Fill me in on the abdominal exercises and mental exerices that you do.

Really this is what SAUK should be about, being proactive and being determined in making anxiety less of a driving force and more of a lovable flatmate.
Hey,

Thanks for the positive replies guys. I had thought twice about posting the message but Pal had started a thread a while back asking people to document the things that worked for them as a kind of resource tool. Such a simple idea was Genius and I couldn't leave the site without sharing a few ideas.

MasterCaster, my apologies for the 'abdominal' part of that sentence- breathing from the diaphragm is the correct term (yes unfortunately that old chestnut!!!) No knew technique to offer, but why fix something that’s not broken. Breathing from the diaphragm (I doubt your unaware of the technique) is simple but useful. I stuck to two weeks twice a day, breathing using the diaphragm instead of the chest. It’s the first thing I turn to when I feel anxious.

I read a few good books for the other 'mental' exercises/techniques (and no I'm not on commission!!!) These include;

Don't Panic- R. Reid Wilson
Triumph Over Fear- J. Ross
Dying of Embarrassment- Markway, Carmin, Pollard & Flynn
The Anxiety Cure- DuPont

I took from each of these books a variety of techniques but most importantly a good understanding of the way my mind and body was working- My anxiety had feed off the unknown-my lack of understanding and the mystery was finally unveiled. I know self help books have been slated but I was desperate.

I don't really do exercises when I'm not in an anxiety provoking situations. I try to enjoy life and forget, during the bits in between. Any anticipatory anxiety (and I used to get a lot) I let play out and then I let it go.
But I use a whole host of techniques when I am anxious. The most predominant and effective being actually putting my self in these situations. Ahh ha..... I'm now in control. I give myself an 'Out' as its called- A way out of the situation which makes me feel less trapped as if I could take it or leave it.

The rest are simply mind games-tricking yourself which is weird but doable. Counting backwards from 100 in 7's (93, 86, 79 etc) Or I tell my self if I feel anxious and people can tell, I'll just tell them whats wrong- I have SA-nuff said, or If they ask whats wrong I'll apologise for making them feel uncomfortable. I expect anxiety, and if it comes I talk to it. 'there you are, ah the heart racing thing....nice, now the shaking and twitching....good stuff.... and so on so on'

So I wrote down my objective (simple and workable) and starting practising. As I said practise is key- I wonder if I'll be practising for the rest of my life!!! In short when you find the right techniques to employ the idea is that practise 'desensitises' the feelings. I'm not scared of socialising, or speaking in front of a crowd, I'm scared of the feelings these situations trigger.

You hit the nail on the head master caster when you spoke of anxiety becoming a 'loveable flatmate'. My very understanding partner who breezes through life had read one of my books and said to me anxiety needs to become your best friend. Let’s face it; it will be with you for life. And he was right; it will be but hopefully not in a destructive way. And that’s the finale!!! Accepting what cannot be changed and changing what can.

Sorry for going on.....
  #5  
Old 10th June 2007, 22:19
Pal Pal is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

^^ Yer, it's a shame that idea didn't take off.
  #6  
Old 10th June 2007, 23:22
Bex Bex is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pal
^^ Yer, it's a shame that idea didn't take off.
It is a shame but it was a tough Crowd. I have enjoyed reading your posts and think you have a great outlook.
  #7  
Old 11th June 2007, 00:28
Pal Pal is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bex
It is a shame but it was a tough Crowd. I have enjoyed reading your posts and think you have a great outlook.
Thankyou.

Maybe the suggestions thread is something that can be reignited later.
  #8  
Old 14th June 2007, 13:55
bluebottle bluebottle is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

Great posts, Bex.

Keep up the good work.
  #9  
Old 15th June 2007, 00:24
Orchid Orchid is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

That's fabulous Bex, I've made a note of the books you've mentioned - hope one day I'll be feeling as positive as you!
  #10  
Old 18th June 2007, 08:12
Bex Bex is offline
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Default Re: Practise is Key

Best of luck to everyone!!! X
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