10 things you shouldn't say / do :

[fedupshy1]

10 things u shouldnt say or do in a fancy resturant

[fedupshy1]

Start sobbing uncontrollably when they bring the soup out, shouting " ur drowning the croutons u bastards!!!!"

I'll have the pan-fried fillet of gurnard, mollusc ragoût, lobster gyoza with an aromatic au jus... and fries with melted cheese on the side, please.

[Detox]

(3) Re-inact Tony Montana's bad guy speech.

[Fluppy]

When asked to say grace say;

"Rubadub dub thanks for the grub
Cost half my wage but it looks like mud
The drink's like piss, the meat's still red
And there's no escape till these stuck-up's are fed"

And smile

[Winnie57]

6. Blow your nose on your napkin

[Mouse]

8. "What will I have...... are you paying?"

[Detox]

9. Start blowing your nose with the table cloth.

[Winnie57]

10. Ask for the ketchup.

[Mouse]

10 Things you shouldn't say to a Policeman


1. "I've been waiting for the stripper to arrive"

[Mr. Nobody]

2. look him up and down and say "Christ,.. they'll give anyone a job these days."

[Mouse]

3. Ask him if he was the ugly kid you used to bully at school.

[Winnie57]

4. "Now,listen here young man, I'm old enough to be your mother."

[Mouse]

5. "Drink driving officer? No, I couldn't afford alcohol after I bought all that heroin"

[Geoff]

6) Sorry I was late, but it took a while for my Sister to clean me up after my last lot of diarrhoea.

[Winnie57]

7. Would you like to come up and see my etchings? [the ones I stole from the art gallery]

[Mouse]

8. Is that a truncheon in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me ?

.

[Alex652]

10. Will you strip search me if I say I have a bomb in my underwear?

[Winnie57]

10 things you shouldn't say/do in a library

1. Sit in the children's section and keep peering over your newspaper.

[Oatmeal]

2. Ask the librarian "aven't you got anything... y'know... harder?"

[Alex652]

Take a copy of 50 Shades of Grey into the toilets.

[endgame]

5: Ask for a copy of Fly Fishing by JR Hartley.

[Winnie57]

8. Look at porn on the computer

[Oatmeal]

9. participate in erotic webcam meeting on the computer

[wowser]

10. Urinate on the cookery section?

[Oatmeal]

10 things you shouldn't say/do at the Paralympics

1) Do a Stephen Hawking impression to create the impression the voice is coming from the nearest wheelchair user.

[buttonlane]

Edit-

I didnt come here to mock the inflicted, thats why ive deleted my original post.

[John]

3) Make a comparison between wheelchair rugby and robot wars ~ paraphrased from a Jimmy Carr joke

[Winnie57]

5. Ring a bell during the blind football or goalball competitions. It might confuse the players.