"Pull yourself together" phrase

English Rose · #1 3rd June 2009, 22:10

How did the phrase "pull yourself together" come into the English language and why do we seem to hear it when we are anxious, upset, tearful, we have a psychological problem or even when we can't stop giggling? Why is it used to get someone to control their emotions? I don't like the phrase and I never use it.

Other phrases used in a similar way are:
"snap out of it"
"get a grip"
"get a hold of yourself"

Why use these useless phrases anyway? - they are totally unhelpful for anyone with social anxiety.

Chris P · #2 7th June 2009, 11:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by English Rose

How did the phrase "pull yourself together" come into the English language and why do we seem to hear it when we are anxious, upset, tearful, we have a psychological problem or even when we can't stop giggling? Why is it used to get someone to control their emotions? I don't like the phrase and I never use it.

Other phrases used in a similar way are:
"snap out of it"
"get a grip"
"get a hold of yourself"

Why use these useless phrases anyway? - they are totally unhelpful for anyone with social anxiety.

Yes that phrase is very unhelpful to people with problems. It's only people who have it easy that use the phrase anyway, so when I hear it the only thing I want to pull out is an AK47

xNelliex · #3 7th June 2009, 17:44

my inlaws used it when i first had a breakdown and they told me i was being unfair to my hb and son

it hurt so much that 4 years on i have not had any contact with them

i dont prevent my hb and son seeing them, but i have no wish to have their sort of 'help'

they have been no loss to me

if only it were that easy to rid yourself of anxiety

nell x

English Rose · #4 8th June 2009, 21:04

One day I was feeling weepy and crying. A woman said to me, "Pull yourself together." She didn't even ask me why I was upset. I then felt uncomfortable and embarrassed. This woman has two grown up children and was probably saying it to them.

stripeymouse · #5 8th June 2009, 22:37

they are very stupid, pointless phrases and are just said by people who don't understand, themselves or others i suspect

RattyLady · #6 9th June 2009, 13:41

As xNelliex said, if only it were that easy. It's a thoughtless, insensitive and ignorant thing to say to someone, whether you know their circumstances or not. I've had it said to me by my bloke's mum, who happens to be a psychiatric nurse! I wonder if she says that to her patients in the throes of a psychotic breakdown.

baz2504 · #7 8th July 2009, 18:09

Or the phrase "cheer up it will never happen" i hate it

ernie · #8 9th July 2009, 08:58

I think the phrase does have a limited use. My brother uses it on me from time to time, as an alternative to a slap in the face when I'm getting way too deep into some stupid thinking pattern and need to just take a moment to question what I'm actually thinking. I suppose because he knows me inside out, he knows when he can use it to have an effect and I'm glad he does so. This particular phrase "pull yourself together" has an effect on me when he uses it, it always makes me think of when Ch Insp. Morse's superior said it to him when he became completely unrational, which kinds of gives it a certain power for me, if that makes sense.
But yeah, for sure, unless someone has intimate knowledge of you and knows when it's going to be helpfull to say it, if it's going to be helpfull at all, it's ridiculous.

Feos · #9 15th July 2009, 09:29

It probably goes back to the days when upper lips were stiff and people were made of sterner stuff. I quite like 'you've made your bed, now lie in it' and 'It's all in your head'.

teal · #10 25th July 2009, 22:24

I prefer 'put on your big girl pants and deal with it' which someone once said to me.

Always makes me giggle a little inside and then I imagine myself pulling on my superhero pants and using my superpowers to zap the problem.

Winnie57 · #11 3rd August 2009, 18:32

I don't remember anyone ever saying it to me although they may have done. But my mum does try to change me which is equally annoying. I am happy using my coping mechanisms which my mum wants me to stop using.

Nikkos · #12 3rd August 2009, 21:30

I tend to like and use the phrase alot when am down etc. Man the f*ck up is another good one

Kat · #13 5th August 2009, 13:28

You hear those phrases a lot and I don't like them either

In fact, a family member once said that they think that "the mentally ill should just pull themselves together" - which is partly why I have felt unable to ask for help from my gp, as I live with this person and don't want them to know about my problems