Where do you feel most comfortable socially

Online or maybe lost in a crowd,I brought this subject up as I used to love to go clubbing and going to gigs, nobody judges you and you can just be yourself without anyone knowing who you are and you don't have to make conversation with anyone as the music is so loud.
I know there are diffrent degrees of social anxiety so I don't expect everyone to agree with me.
I also enjoy the cinema where its all dark and nobody knows you.

Interaction with people is my achiles heel, I just can't think like their mentality.I feel why should I be made to feel uncomfortable talking to them, so I don't bother so I come across as being rude.

[punisher82]

Funnily enough, I'm most comfortable on a football pitch. I play in my team and I'm captain! I don't get nervous, intimidated or anxious at all, and I feel completely assured in my ability.

In contrast, I go to the cinema, mall or anywhere public only when it's quiet. I rarely go to clubs as I struggle with crowds of people. Not sure why, mind.

Dan

[punisher82]

Oops, just realised I posted in the Over 30's club! Please forgive me! LOL

Dan

[veracocha]

In a restaurant or bar as long as quiet, I'm comfortable with the people around me and I know where the exits are including the fire exits so I can get out of there very quicky if I need to. I cannot stand being in large groups of people, 3 or 4 is probably the ideal number. I like to sit with my back to the wall so I can see everything going on around me too.

[filo]

At work, oddly enough

[Ziggy]

Originally Posted by TimB72

I can't feel comfortable anywhere by myself, even at home when neighbours are home.

I'm grateful my neighbours haven't had any outdoor parties this summer, I dread those, even though I don't see any of the people.

I don't really feel comfortable anywhere....not even online. I don't feel interesting enough to be accepted anywhere


Hermit woman

[Claireabell]

I am so at ease online, especially on msn. The real me with no SA can come through. I'm not saying I feel that way the first time I talk with someone, of course it makes me nervous but there are some great people out there, try it and see.

Don't think you are not interesting enough, just think about the achievemnets you have made, having a family for a start and even if you don't go now you use to go to gigs and clubs. Sit down and think about it, did you pass your driving test, any exams etc.

Claire

[marcus]

I don’t feel socially comfortable anywhere to be honest, but earlier on this summer I was up in Scotland with members of my family and one day my cousin and I visited a ‘Benedictine Monastery’. I’m not very religious or anything but the atmosphere there was amazing, I forgot about myself for a while and was under no pressure to interact with anybody. The brothers there went about their business and didn’t bother me at all. I would go again anytime just to have some peace of mind for a while, they do retreats but not sure I have the bottle to stay there over night.
:hidesbehi

[incommunicado]

I'm at ease alone in the middle of the forest and being a tourist in crowded central London, at places where the focus is on the surroundings, event or activity. Structure plays a big part.

Discussion boards equate to crowded pubs and i won't even contemplate chatrooms or clubs.

I don't think I'm comfortable anywhere either. I'm sitting here thinking of different situations .. the only time I truly feel comfortable is when it's my son and I snuggling on the sofa watching movies. Everything else just disappears, then.

When I think of social situations, it usually means either terror or huge amounts of alcohol (which is something I'm just trying to get under control). I've always used alcohol to deal with social situations, as far back as school. I used to take a hip flask with me to drink in-between lessons, then I'd go home and drink at lunchtime so that I could deal with the afternoons.

I sometimes feel even more un-comfortable with people I know, as I feel more exposed to them and more worried about their opinions and thoughts etc.

This is a good question. I guess I feel the same as TimB72: I don't feel comfortable anywhere and I try not to meet my neighboors. Chatting online is quite ok but some times I surprised myself getting blushed in front of my computer for a comment made on me by the person I chat with!

Clubs are certainly the last places where I would go on my own initiative. The pubs are fine as long as they are not too crowded. The malls are a nightmare as I have to pass hours and hours to find out what suits me (when I know what I want) and of course the more I stay there the more uncomfortable I tend to be.

I understand the point of Punisher82 when he says he feels strangely more comfortable when playing on a football pitch. It is like a stage where you play a character, where you have a defined status and defined game rules.
When I was in the Army, I was asked to teach French grammary to young soldiers in a classroom. And, surprisingly, I was not frightened by that situation: they have to respect me as a teacher, I was acting like a teacher, I had a kind of authority on them, thus I was fine with them staring at me, which of course I could not suffer while walking on the streets or having a drink in a café.

Originally Posted by filo

At work, oddly enough

Me too! I really come alive when i go to work. I feel like I'm one of the team (I am!). I work with a lovely bunch of people. They don't know I have SA, and may find it hard to believe because I can be quite silly around them! (Pulling funny faces, walking around in bare feet, screeching with laughter! etc) They would be surprised ( i think) that I spend virtually all my spare time alone!

[Peasie]

I hate having to approach people I know in a pub. I'm OK if they come up to me and start talking - but I can never go to them first and start speaking. I keep on feeling they won't want to talk to me even though there is no evidence to suggest they don't want to talk to me.

[incommunicado]

Originally Posted by filo

At work, oddly enough

Once settled in which took a while i would remain stress free by working really hard, keeping me head down sort of thing.


I'm also relatively at ease in a hospital enviroment even more so than non-sa peeps!

[Sara B]

I get SA online too - though I think I'm a bit worse than I used to since I got ill again last year with OCD. I used to go on MSN - which I have always found pretty difficult tbh - but I kind of pushed myself more then. I often feel SA around people I know too - as I also worry about their oppinions/thoughts etc - this does seem to come and go tho' - although it's a big issue for me in general - tho' I think I deal with it a lot better these days.

I'm fine with shopping or the cinema,even went to a gig on my own earlier this year.Basically as long as I dont feel pressurised to 'be' anyone I'm ok. Of course the pressure is usually coming from me, not the other people, but try telling me that at the time.

I find it difficult with people I know too. I think deep down I feel like they will disown me if I say or do one thing out of place,so I'm always on edge and uncomfortable.

[deegee]

I dont feel too bad anywhere, as long as im with my hubby or mom. But, am only completely relaxed in my own home, with my own family round me.

Originally Posted by simulacra

I find it difficult with people I know too. I think deep down I feel like they will disown me if I say or do one thing out of place,so I'm always on edge and uncomfortable.

I feel like that too, that if I say one thing out of line, I will be rejected. I also feel that people are even looking for reasons/excuses to reject me so I end up being this hideous people pleaser.

[matone]

I feel most comfortable in a supermarket, seeing people i know is not good though. I think anything i'm familier with, things i have to do on a regular basis are easyer (familier surroundings sercamstances)

Also i think its good to have something to do, something to focus on when in a sociably approachable position.
Being focussed on, centre attention with no logical escape rought is what brings out my anxiety a bit like cloustrophobia perhaps?