SA creeping in at church

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

Ive been going to a church for about 3 months now and generally everyone has been really welcoming and nice. Im being baptised next week which is a big step!
The tea and biscuits after the service I have stayed for most weeks as it is a nice chance to talk to people. The other week someone made me a cup of tea and I couldnt drink it as it was so weak. I drink Yorkshire tea mainly so I made a joke of it and brought my own tea bag the next week.
Then another woman made me a drink of squash but put way too much squash in it and it was digustingly sweet so I couldnt drink it.
I dont really care about having a drink after the service but today the same woman commented that "you are very picky now that we have got to know you a bit".
I felt really upset and its made me feel that I dont want to stay after the service with people picking at what I like to drink.
I also went to a mobility/ disability meeting a few weeks back and someone offered me some cake which I really didnt want and afterwards they kept commenting that I was the only one who had ever refused cake!!
I go to church because I believe in God and want spiritual comfort and there are some lovely people there but Im so put off now by what I think are gossipy types and cliques.
Should I just ignore it? Or ?

[Chess&Junkfood]

I wouldn't let it bother you, Angela. My Mum is a Christian and she once had someone try to reprimand her for forgetting to bring her tithe. I probably would have said something if I was there at the time. Especially as this person is in her 80s and I could easily take her down. But that being said, I think it's best to turn the other cheek in those situations. Although if those situations continue, then you could always tell them politely to kiss that cheek.

[biscuits]

As someone who is also picky, I think it's an accurate observation to say you're being picky with the drinks. It's not a bad thing, it just means we like them in a particular way and aren't going to force ourselves to drink or eat something that we don't like. I would gag if I had to drink a milky tea. It would definitely be going in the nearest plant pot. (I'm such a tea diva, a teava!)

Is it possible for you to offer to make the drinks one week, like help out with them and then you can make it how you like. That's how I ensure I get a drink that matches my exact specifications haha I just make sure I'm the one making it.

Another thing would be to donate a box of Yorkshire tea.

[Merry]

A teava!
Love it

I've had lots of these kinds of comments over the years, Angela. I don't really understand why it should concern other people that you like certain things or like things a certain way?
Oftentimes people who have pointed out things like that I've noticed usually have their own little things they're picky about, which I would never comment on, but they would always comment on my preferences. Some people seem to take offence if you don't like the things they like!

I agree with Chess & Junkfood, just ignore their comments, it's an issue with them, not you x
Also, you have been through so much, you deserve to spend time at Church, don't let someone's insensitivity/insecurity put you off.

[Dougella]

Are you originally from Yorkshire Angela? Because an easy response would be "Oh, I'm from Yorkshire, I've got to have my Yorkshire tea!"

People are so funny about food and drink and who has what, but they probably make comments without thinking too much so best not to take it too seriously. If you don't want to have some cake you can always say you're being careful about your health too (Whether they know about your cancer or not.)

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

Yes originally Im from Yorkshire! And Ive told them.that. I think Im over reacting a bit and being too sensitive.
Biscuits that is a good suggestion with the box of Yorkshire tea but Im worried they might take offence. I think I will just ignore it! Its only a few anyway!
They are doing cakes for my baptism next week so I hope there is one I actually like!!

[sophie79]

I understand where you are coming from. I can't let anyone else make me a cup of tea, it has to be just right or I can't drink it, and it has to be Yorkshire Tea. There's no shame in knowing how you like your tea

[BFG_]

Take a flask with you. Tell them their tea/cake tastes rank.

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

^ ????????????

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

^

[Boy]

Was that lady a bit annoyed at you when she said that or was it said in a jokingly manner?
I know that for sensitive people both would be upsetting, but the annoyed tone can trigger stronger negative emotions.

Good on you for going to church and talking to people, Angela! When I was going to church in the past, I never talked to anyone, although that was the idea. Never really was approached by anyone. Fun of being an unapproachable bastard.

[Kipling]

I only ever drink a glass or bottle of water in social situations - it's so much easier!

Well done for going to church though, it's not always easy in this day and age. I was brought up going to church, have always believed in God and often think about attending a church again, but going to a new one on my own is daunting.

Then there's choosing the "right" sort of church as there are so many types that believe all kinds of different things and worship in different ways - it's all too complicated, hence why I haven't been for however many years!

[biscuits]

Originally Posted by Shy_pretty_Angela

Yes originally Im from Yorkshire! And Ive told them.that. I think Im over reacting a bit and being too sensitive.
Biscuits that is a good suggestion with the box of Yorkshire tea but Im worried they might take offence. I think I will just ignore it! Its only a few anyway!
They are doing cakes for my baptism next week so I hope there is one I actually like!!

Aw no, I'm sure they'd love some free tea. I mean, you might wanna give it a little while so it doesn't come across as a diss, but it's a win-win situation where they get a donation and you get the cup of tea of your dreams.

(I don't like Yorkshire tea and call it Yorkshite tea )

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by biscuits

(I don't like Yorkshire tea and call it Yorkshite tea )

How very dare you!

[Shy_pretty_Angela]

I think Im just over sensitive!! Always been like that!

[Seagull]

^^ Earl Grey is the ONLY tea Lee, anything else is a waste of putting the kettle on, it truly is nectar from the gods. (for us refined southerners only of course)

[Lee S]

Originally Posted by Seagull

^^ Earl Grey is the ONLY tea Lee, anything else is a waste of putting the kettle on, it truly is nectar from the gods. (for us refined southerners only of course)

Too posh for me

[biscuits]

Seagull, you fancy thang, you!

Early Grey tastes a little bit like the cup has some residues of washing up liquid in it, or the Avon Lady has spritzed it with their perfume.

[Seagull]

^ Back in your box, Biccies, I’m as working class as they come, but Sainsbury’s decaff Earl Grey, OM*G! (Insert drool smiley here)

[biscuits]

^ haha fancy is a state of being

it's nice to find the things that make you go, "mmmm" and rub your tummy.

[Mr. Nobody]

I must admit earl grey can be a very refreshing change now and then,
I've always really liked it any time I've had it,
But just now and then, as a special treat,
Otherwise it's the standard English breakfast by Tetley or Yorkshire or something,

A tea discussion would probably need to be a whole thread of it's own,