Someone who gets under your skin in an annoying way

[Jello]

I am currently working with someone who whenever they open their mouth to speak is annoying the hell out of me. She speaks condescendingly, she will go and tell someone what another person may have said about them (in other words a sh*t stirrer) she doesn't seem to realise the impact she has on people. Every time she opens her mouth I feel like slapping her.

Is there anyone you know who is annoying you who you work with/ know?

[kastra]

Ugh, yeah, my manager at my volunteering job (oxfam bookshop). She's just so irritating, loves to talk about herself and her millions of ailments constantly and she's SO patronising to the customers sometimes, I swear she takes like 10 minutes to explain the simplest thing and I can see people getting annoyed but can't do anything about it. She's desperate to get the paid managers job but I doubt she ever will.

The best moment was a month or so ago, she was going on about how she doesn't believe smoking or obesity are risk factors for heart disease & strokes because nobody she knows that had those conditions were obese or smokers. My co-worker (cool guy, retired teacher) said to her 'yes, but anecdotal evidence isn't really the same thing as research', and she responds with 'oh it's not anecdotal I actually know all these people' *headdesk*
Ooh and also when the postman came round and talked down to her in the exact same way as she does to people, explaining how they couldn't stop mail addressed to the people who used to own the building from arriving there, she was so offended by him and I just thought lol now you know how it feels.

[diplodocus]

^ Ha! Unfortunately a big fat yes! I guy I work with recently described me as 'intensely irritating'.
The irony is that I find him, since he started about a year ago the most annoying human being in existance. I've normally got a fairly high tolerance for this sort of thing but he just gets right under my skin.

So my tactic was to just fight fire with fire and all the little comments he makes that niggle me, I just do them back. Unfortunately he is one of these people that is incredibly un-self aware and he hasn't twigged that I'm only doing the exact same to him as he does to me. If he makes a smart comment, he gets one back. He has a little jibe at my expense, he gets one back... ad infinitum. Oh and he luuurves to talk at length about himself. And if you happen to one up him just by virtue of fact he'll totally disregard what you've said and try as hard as he can to steer the conversation in a completely different direction. This is despite the fact that he is a complete and utter 'Aren't I wonderful' type

It hasn't worked at all and he still is exactly the same, but I take some consulation that I get under his skin as much as I do but the idea was that he'd realise how annoying his behaviour was if he experienced it himself and desist. I just didn't factor in his lack of anything remotely resembling self-awareness

Actually this is a pattern, I find a few people annoying but they have described me as annoying because I've just mirrored their behaviour back at them. I think too often I'm guilty of assuming that others see things the way I do

[Leggers]

I've got a few people like that at my place. They seem to get a curious enjoyment out of yapping about people behind their backs and spreading personal information(often false) I find their behaviour quite bizarre.
The term I use for them is wankers.

[chrissie]

yes, my manager gets under my skin like that and he really messes with my head sometimes. Nothing is simple with him. He always thinks the rest of the management team are against him and make stuff personal. Now because I have a good relationship with my director, and I respect him feel supported by her he thinks I am the enemy too!! It's just bizarre.

[Effervescing Elephant]

A very irritating guy has come to sit next to me at work recently. It's a bit sad because he's not malicious or lazy or anything like that but rather it's his mannerisms and mode of speech. Think of Ned Flanders from "The Simpsons" and you'd be on the right lines.

He is generally perceived to be annoying and his managers speak to him very harshly and personally. They talk about him behind his back. He must have quite a thick skin (or be quite insensitive to social cues) not to notice this. I always respond to him in a friendly and professional manner but the thing is- he is irritating. He was sitting at his desk tunelessly singing and whistling on Friday and it was getting on my nerves a lot.

He doesn't seem to be unhappy. I know he is married and has a family and outside interests. I guess it just worries me that I come across like that and that people are talking about me behind my back too. It worries me that my colleagues have assigned him a place lower than themselves in the social hierarchy and therefore think they can talk to him like dirt. I think that simply by finding him irritating I've automatically done the same but as I say I won't be anything less than polite to him and I don't want to join in the backstabbing.

[Phool]

I think there is a bit of a pattern here - it seems traits like arrogance, two-facedness, talking too much, gossiping are irritating. This may be because SA people tend to like quieter environments and generally have lower self esteem so loud, confident behaviour is alien to us.

I have several family members, mostly aunts, who really get under my skin as they have there traits.

In most working environments there are loud, arrogant, competitive gossips. The level to which they get under my skin depends on the level I have to interact with them.

I have been bullied by two managers at work in the past five years and I'm pretty sure its because they felt threatened by me. People that are full of hot air will always feel threatened by people who are more intelligent than them and they will resent the fact that we can allow the quality of our work to speak for itself without needing to boast about it.

[Sea]

Pretty much everyone I know annoys me in the way that you described I have very low tolerance for other people.

[GhostOnMagneticTape]

I'm an easy target, so certain types of people will always get under my skin, I just smile, grit my teeth and take it (when really I what to assert myself and express my disapproval of the way they are talking to me).

[LittleMissMouse]

Oh yes, in my old job one of my colleagues absolutely did my head in. I've never before seen someone who was able to crush the spirit and suck the life out of a place in the same way that she was. We used to have quite a good team spirit, in that it was quite often us versus the management and would sit and play bullsh!t bingo during "Webinars" (eugh) and there was a fair bit of banter, although, sometimes it could get a little borderline and you did have to have a fairly thick skin. Anyway, within a week of starting Miss Perfect had hauled one of the guys aside and with proper pointy fingerness told him that if she heard him mention the word 'hooker' again she'd report him to HR (incidentally, this guy plays rugby, as his position is, err, hooker, but that's beside the point).

She had nothing but disdain for the rest of us and got to the point where she would only talk to the management. Its quite hard working with someone who thinks you're equivalent to something they've just stepped in. I really tried with her, but after I asked "So how was your weekend" and got told it was none of my business I just gave up.
And another thing, we used to have this thing whereby when you come in in the morning you shake everyones hand and say hello, morning whatever to them. She would do this, then go back to her desk and crack open a wet wipe to wipe her hands, just incase we were unsure of her disgust at the rest of us.

It was a bit like sitting in an office with a hissing cobra, one who would strike without any sort of provocation and we just didn't know when or who she was going to strike next. It turns out that she started she had been keeping a log of every single borderline sexist, homophobic, racist (and when I say racist, I mean that in the way that if you work if in international setting you're sometimes going to get called an English/French/South African/ tw@t), or otherwise offensive remark that was ever made in the entire time she was there, which ended up on the desk of HR and some very senior management. Luckily, by the time this happened I'd already left, but this ended in three really nice guys having their careers practically ruined by one hypersensitive and malicious witch, I've no doubt that my name would have been on her hit list too if I'd still been there.

[i_like_mittens]

Originally Posted by JH123

Every time she opens her mouth I feel like slapping her.

Oh I know that feeling. I live with someone like that at the moment and feel like my head will explode from irritation and anger a lot of the time. She's a terrible judge of character, narrow minded, two faced, patronising, about 80% of her time revolves around bad mouthing others, interfering in people's lives, judging people as intellectually inferior (according to pointless things like the way a person decorates their house), telling you how to live your life and how her beliefs and opinions have more value than yours, etc. At this point, even when she's being nice, the sound of her voice agitates me. People like that easily get under my skin, just not as much as this woman.

I can't function around people like that.

[Jello]

When I submitted this post I didn't expect such a big reply. It's reassuring to know that there are others who have to put up with annoying people. The person I work with has such an annoying tone too this winds me up. But I do know I am not the only one who she annoys at work. Without going into too much detail she is paid the same as me. I had to do a 3 year course to get to that level of pay. She got it without having to do the 3 year course. It was handed to her on a plate. Maybe there's a touch of jealousy here but aside from that I still find her annoying.

[indiegirl1980]

Please see my rant on the 'daily grind' thread about the annoying girl at work, with particular regard to the lunchtimes issue!

She has a lot of the traits everyone else has identified in their annoying person- loud, showy-offy behaviour, self-obession, being patronising, etc, etc.

I think all she needs is for someone to say; "You know what, you aint all that, so get over yourself, love", at least then she'd know that not everyone finds her as fascinating as she obviously does.

[Toxic]

this is all very concerning

im trying to talk to more girls as i have sod all experience with em and i need the confidence..and the last page is pretty much everyone ranting about a woman at work ..seem to be outdoing the guys on annoying people, at least in this thread!

i havent got to know people enough at work yet, but ive had some advice on who to avoid and who to keep quiet around. Theres this older lady about 60 who i kept hearing in conversation im like ..she cant be that bad can she? ..oh you will know her when u hear her.

Then she rolled up, really really loud american accent you can hear her through the building HOW Y'ALL DOINGGG which i could put up with, even tho her loud voice was getting on my nerves..but the way she acts is just

she wont back down to anyone, she was in the face of some chav as the chav told her to f off as shes quite annoying..always trying to get the staff in headlocks or poking them or pressing keys while your trying to do something on the computer...obviously the staff have got used to it but it doesnt work on a chav so he snapped got in her face saying if she doesnt piss off hes gonna punch her in the face. Now you expect a 60yr old woman to back off or leave, but no she starts shouting saying shes gonna throw the chav out the window (im having to reduce the F words here ) which i quite admired but its the fact she wont stop, the chav got bored and just tried to ignore her but she keeps shouting..you wont punch me you wouldnt dare, go on hit me..this went on for like half an hour while staff was trying to calm her down..absolute loony

as i say, i admire her balls as the chav was like 18 with 6-7 of his mates..but the fact she just wont stop and the whole thing took about an hour before she would stop shouting is just (plus the poking/headlocking staff) ..quite the character!

[nessa456]

Originally Posted by Venom

this is all very concerning

im trying to talk to more girls as i have sod all experience with em and i need the confidence..and the last page is pretty much everyone ranting about a woman at work ..seem to be outdoing the guys on annoying people, at least in this thread!

i havent got to know people enough at work yet, but ive had some advice on who to avoid and who to keep quiet around. Theres this older lady about 60 who i kept hearing in conversation im like ..she cant be that bad can she? ..oh you will know her when u hear her.

Then she rolled up, really really loud american accent you can hear her through the building HOW Y'ALL DOINGGG which i could put up with, even tho her loud voice was getting on my nerves..but the way she acts is just

she wont back down to anyone, she was in the face of some chav as the chav told her to f off as shes quite annoying..always trying to get the staff in headlocks or poking them or pressing keys while your trying to do something on the computer...obviously the staff have got used to it but it doesnt work on a chav so he snapped got in her face saying if she doesnt piss off hes gonna punch her in the face. Now you expect a 60yr old woman to back off or leave, but no she starts shouting saying shes gonna throw the chav out the window (im having to reduce the F words here ) which i quite admired but its the fact she wont stop, the chav got bored and just tried to ignore her but she keeps shouting..you wont punch me you wouldnt dare, go on hit me..this went on for like half an hour while staff was trying to calm her down..absolute loony

as i say, i admire her balls as the chav was like 18 with 6-7 of his mates..but the fact she just wont stop and the whole thing took about an hour before she would stop shouting is just (plus the poking/headlocking staff) ..quite the character!

Does this woman work there as an employee?

[Toxic]

i dont think so...if anything shes a volunteer, ive only seen her there once and ive been there 8 days

theres probably stuff i dont know as she freely goes into the office and talks to the boss ..who am i to question..im the newbie!

[Boc11]

Some of my colleagues irritate me. There is this one gy who is building himself a new house and it seems like he never does any work, he just goes on and on about it to other colleagues (I never get involved in talking to him) and phones people up going on about tiles and kitchens and suchlike.

Generally, my colleagues make me feel inadequate. They go on about their foreign holidays, their house extensions, their cars, their wonderful families, the fantastic time they had at the weekend. I have none of that. No wonder nobody bothers to talk to me. "What did you do at the weekend?" "Er I got pissed out of my head and had a long sleep."

[Pink*Lady]

Yeah there are several people where I work who constantly complain, bitch and back stab other people and spread rumours about their colleagues. WTF is wrong with these people? There is one woman in particular who works her way around several members of staff making nasty and personal comments about them in full earshot. Although staff have complained about this nothing seems to have been done about her. Certain people seem to be able to get away with this kind of behaviour. Rant over...

[Grinder]

One of my college tutors who is thankfully being sacked in three weeks time. Still, he's left a path of destruction behind him. I've wasted so much time trying to do the work that I'm behind on other units. There's nothing to it but to do it, but this coupled with deadlines and the fact that my manger is really unforgiving and abrasive at times just makes me want to sink my face into a pillow for a week or two. Compared to some peoples situations though I'm very lucky.

[Jello]

Originally Posted by Boc11

Generally, my colleagues make me feel inadequate. They go on about their foreign holidays, their house extensions, their cars, their wonderful families, the fantastic time they had at the weekend. I have none of that. No wonder nobody bothers to talk to me. "What did you do at the weekend?" "Er I got pissed out of my head and had a long sleep."

I think some people make out they are having a wonderful life but no one knows what is really happening behind closed doors. I've heard of couples who are having a great time doing whatever. Next thing you hear is they have split up. Sometimes it might be just a cover. Maybe they are showing off to colleagues. There was a time I used to get p**** at weekend and then sleep. They were fun times. I couldn't do that now. Too many responsibilities. Have fun, enjoy while you can.

[indiegirl1980]

There's something about a work situation which magnifies what you don't like about other people- mainly because you're all cooped up in an office day in, day out, and can't escape from it.

Venom- I think that in general women don't like other women to be quite honest.