Quotes:funny, inspirational, wise.

[acidcasual]

Quotes are wonderful they can bring a nice smile to your or impart some distilled wisdom. They can even kick-start your motivation. Anybody got any favorites?

"It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all."

James Thurber.

[indiegirl1980]

" If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again. Then give up. No sense in being a damn fool about it."
WC Fields

"Go back to Liverpool, Mr Epstein. Four-groups are out".
The head of Decca Records on first hearing The Beatles

[julie6672]

two quotes from my favourite person of all time Marilyn Monroe:

A career is wonderful thing, but you can't snuggle up to it on a cold night.


It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.

[julie6672]

Groucho Marx:
'darling, I'll dance with you till the cows come home. better still, i'll dance with the cows till you come home.'

'this morning i shot an elephant in my pajamas...what he was doing in my pajamas i'll never know.'

[Shanibandangle]

"I do feel uncomfortable about being the frontman. Taken out of this context, I feel like f**k-all, a waste of space. I mean, if I wasn't in Mansun, these girls wouldn't give a flying fig"

"If you are physically sick, you can elicit the interest of a battery of physicians; but if you are mentally sick, you are lucky if the janitor comes around"

"When you suffer an attack of nerves you're being attacked by the nervous system. What chance has a man got against a system?"

"Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at."

"If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today."

"Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear three - all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.".

Plus soooooooooooo many more.

[Wol]

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
(Matt Groening)

[Azi]

Originally Posted by Wol

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
(Matt Groening)

PMSL so true

[citizen_erased]

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel - Homer Simpson

[acidcasual]

"What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch"
WC Fields

[Shanibandangle]

"I wake up a miserable bastard, I go to bed a miserable bastard, I'm not constantly changing from giggly to cautious" - Frankie Boyle on Facebook


Mark Lamarr: When Carlos Santana first met his future wife Deborah, he said "She smelled like something I wanted to wake up next to for the rest of my life". It's beautiful, isn't it? Finding a woman who smells like a bacon sandwich and a can of Irn Bru? [Pretending to cry] You're a lucky man, Carlos!

Mark Lamarr: Wet Wet Wet eventually got so sick of "Love Is All Around" that they wrote to their record company, demanding the song be taken off the market. And since I found that fact out, I've spent six months trying to forge James Blunt's signature: "Dear James Blunt's record company. It's me, James Blunt. My records are rubbish. Please stop putting them out. Thanks. Bluntie. PS: You can stab me in the eye as well if you want."

[Talking about Sharon Osbourne having liposuction]
Mark: She has it sucked out of her and pumped into her daughter and I think that's cruel.

[julie6672]

i remember watching a jeremy kyle show and jeremy was going off at this lad who was giving him some lip and i remember jeremy saying to this lad, 'i bet you couldnt even spell the word father!' and this lad said, 'yes, i could' and jeremy said 'go on then' and the lad went 'F..A..R..T..H..E..R' :rolleyes:

[julie6672]

anne robinson on the weakest link:
'who couldn't find a needle in a needlestack!'

[indiegirl1980]

" I used to think that people who did things that were weird were weird. But now I think that people who call other people weird are the ones that are weird"

Paul McCartney

[acidcasual]

"Insurance is no substitute for a good alarm system and a twelve gauge shotgun."
Cagney and Lacey

[cheesehoven]

When you're in love with a beautiful woman, it's hard.
(Dr. Hook)

[julie6672]

anne robinson on the weakest link:
'who thinks Lobotomy was a Greek philosopher'