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  #1  
Old 15th May 2019, 03:01
wildwolf231 wildwolf231 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 4
Default help

ive not been on here for a while. things arent going well now and theyve not been going well for a long time. for some background info, im 17, male , gay and am struggling with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts. i didnt attend my final year of school and missed most days from the years before due to anxiety. i was supposed to start college september 2018 and ive only attended for 1 day. so basically for around the past 2 years ive been staying at home all day everyday doing nothing. my mum has been very understanding with everything but has been trying to get me to look for a job. i want to but i cant, my anxiety wont let me. im so alone right now, i cant talk o anybody, i struggled to make friends in secondary school so i only had 2 or 3. my biggest fear since i was a child has been being abandoned. thats now my reality. almost every night i have dreams where im at school again and im happy, talking with friends, im comfortable around people. and then i wake up and i remember that im alone and that the people from school that i dream about are fine, theyre living their lives and theyve moved on from me, they probably dont even remember me. even though theyre so fresh in my brain. in my mind it feels like i just spoke to them yesterday but for them its been years. the thought of this ruins me. i feel like killing myself because i don know what to do, i cant get a job i wouldnt be able to keep one. and i cant live my life doing nothing indoors all day. does anybody know what i should do? ive tried counselling and it helped a bit but that was a while ago, please i really am feeling trapped.
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  #2  
Old 15th May 2019, 03:30
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: help

Welcome to the forum, I am sorry to hear that you're struggling.

I would suggest going back to your gp and explaining how you feel would your mum could go with you for support? Maybe you could give counselling another go, or give medication a try. Have you thought about joining a support group, this could help you get out more and you could meet people in a similar position. it would also give you something to do on a certain day each week.

I'm older than you but I have struggled with Anxiety, found it hard to make friends and was scared of this world, doing little things everyday might make you feel better, maybe start by walking to the shop, or going for a walk to the park with your mum or friends.

Starting college at any age is a daunting experience but if you build up to things slowly one day you may feel comfortable enough to give college a go, or maybe find employment.

Do you still see your friends from school?

I do hope in time things will improve for you, take care and if you do need additional support please do visit the forum it will help you to feel less alone.

newbs.
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  #3  
Old 16th May 2019, 03:02
wildwolf231 wildwolf231 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 4
Default Re: help

thank you for the advice, ill try and get to the gp asap and ill also look up some support groups. i only keep in touch with one friend from school and i see her once every few weeks i usually go to her house but sometimes i cant bring myself to leave my house so i end up cancelling.
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  #4  
Old 18th May 2019, 19:18
Jimmy77 Jimmy77 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 169
Default Re: help

Hi, I can't really offer you much advice. SA and avoidance have totally dominated my life, and I've never really found a way out. All I can say is, don't give up - at your age, everything gets blown out of proportion. What seems a huge deal won't be five or ten years from now. Good luck
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