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  #1  
Old 14th January 2019, 00:22
Austere_Lemur Austere_Lemur is offline
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Default Social Anxiety related to or influenced by Gender?

So I've read a lot of stuff about how SA is related to gender - more specifically how it's applied to males in particular (due to studies in the 50s when females were negligible [thus lack of adequate data] - but it did go on about how it's up to the 'male' to initiate any kind of relationship - as well as being the so-called 'bread-winner').

Yes, I realise that this is very gender-biased. And, don't get me wrong; women are just as strong financially etc. I'm just curious as to people's thoughts on this.

I've suffered severely from SA my whole life, but I've felt trans my whole life and only just properly come out to my family - so therefore I'm male through and through.

I'm not, however, deluded enough to think that transitioning will magically cure my SA - I know that it's not as simple as that; but it will go a long way toward feeling comfortable in myself. Social interactions are a whole different ball-game!
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Old 14th January 2019, 01:24
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
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Default Re: Social Anxiety related to or influenced by Gender?

Hi Austere, I have no first-hand experience of gender dysphoria, but I have met many who have transitioned, are (or were, at the time I met them) in the process of transitioning or who are (or were) considering transitioning and I'm sure that you know you have a long and very hard road ahead of you; of course, the process as I know it has mostly been on the NHS and you are in Norway (I believe) so I can't say what differences there might be where you are. Neither of your options (if, indeed, you consider that you have a choice which you probably don't) are easy: either remain as a gender which feels unnatural to you, or become what you were meant to be, something which involves living as the gender to which you are transitioning, a lifetime of hormone treatment, probably with side-effects, a series of painful operations and having to explain to prospective partners in the future that you weren't born this way. I'm saying none of this to put you off, because everyone I've met who has transitioned - and many who were on the way there - say that they have a much happier life as a result.

I'm hoping that, in Norway, you won't face as much prejudice as a trans person than you might encounter here - it's still a very small minority, but I have seen how upsetting it can be. At the end of it all, though, the reward - living the life you should have lived from the outset - will be incredibly liberating, although not without its difficulties. You say that transitioning will not magically cure you're SA and you're right - there is even a chance that it may exacerbate it, given that you may find yourself having to explain how you were born in the wrong body to various people on a regular basis - but being comfortable in yourself is a big part of overcoming SA (possibly the biggest part). Of course I can't say for sure, but I think there is a good chance you will become more comfortable socially, but also that initially you may feel less so and that a small minority may not accept you, but if you can learn to deal with these things (and by the time you have reached that stage, you are likely to be stronger person because of everything you've had to endure to get there) then being in control of the anxiety is a very strong possibility.

I wish you all the strength and courage you will need for what lies ahead; it isn't an easy path you're about to take, but when you suffer a setback, feel down or doubt yourself, just think of the future.
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Old 28th January 2019, 06:11
Austere_Lemur Austere_Lemur is offline
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Default Re: Social Anxiety related to or influenced by Gender?

Can I just say: thank you so much! You wrote both a sensible and informed response (which I really appreciate!).

I am, however, looking to move back to the UK this coming Spring (Norway didn't really work out for me - and mostly due to my family and not the natives).

You have a really informed opinion, really which appreciate. I've been on here (this site) for a few years, but I've been too afraid to come forth with this particular issue. I well-know that these issues are not one and the same. It's taken me a good while to come back on here and read your response (because when I first posted my post I regretted it afterwards because I feared people's judgments).

Thanks again for being sensible and just all-around awesome!

When I do get back to moving to the UK in the Spring, I'm well-aware of the long waiting lists. But if I've waited this long (in the latter part of my twenties), I can wait a bit longer for my life to get started. Or I hope so!
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Old 28th January 2019, 12:56
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: Social Anxiety related to or influenced by Gender?




I watched this podcast for a long time and found it very informative even though I'm not trans. These two guys are from Canada and their style may not be quite your taste but you might find it interesting
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Old 28th January 2019, 16:12
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: Social Anxiety related to or influenced by Gender?

can't really say my gender has influenced my SA,. if anything, being male has possibly made it easier?

some males may have mentioned that being the one that is often seen as having to initiate conversations etc. can make things harder,
but from the opposite perspective,. if you were female, I'd just see this as being even more difficult somehow.
at least being male you have the option of initiating conversation or not and are possibly able to get away with more options and have more social latitude and social allowances open for you,
perhaps a female perspective on social anxiety would be more socially restrictive in this field?
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