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  #1  
Old 27th May 2019, 14:14
Orwell20 Orwell20 is offline
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Default What lessons has life taught you?

I mean positive things? What have you learnt from your years of mental illness and suffering?
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  #2  
Old 27th May 2019, 17:46
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

- The mind and body are one. If you suffer from a mental illness, think of your body as a delicate, malfunctioning machine. Be very careful how you treat it, what you expose it to, and what you put in it. Eat healthy food, practice yoga, walk in the countryside, avoid noise and stress, stay away from anyone who makes you feel worse, and read and watch cheerful things.

- People are different. Some are extroverts, some introverts; some are upbeat, high energy people, and some aren't. Plus, they are all dealing with the effects of their childhood - their parents, their siblings, their school days, etc. You just have to accept this. People don't change what they fundamentally are. And neither will you. The key is to live your life in a way that suits your temperament.

- Don't allow other people to define you. People try to label and box you, often in a way that suits them and makes them feel good about themselves. Resist this.
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  #3  
Old 27th May 2019, 18:50
lone*star lone*star is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

^ Some good advice there. One thing that caught my attention though:

Quote:
If you suffer from a mental illness...
But how would you know whether or not you are suffering from a mental illness?

If you say, that's what you've been told by someone else, or that's what you've learned from other people, doesn't that then come under your later piece of advice?

Quote:
Don't allow other people to define you. People try to label and box you...
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  #4  
Old 27th May 2019, 18:52
john smith john smith is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Being nice doesn't get you anywhere.
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  #5  
Old 27th May 2019, 20:55
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by john smith
Being nice doesn't get you anywhere.
Well, being nice to ****s doesn't get you anywhere. In fact, it backfires. They just see it as weakness or creeping. ****s only respect other ****s!! But be nice to good people.
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  #6  
Old 27th May 2019, 21:52
limey123 limey123 is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moksha
People don't change what they fundamentally are.
Wait, didn't the Buddha do this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moksha
But be nice to good people.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
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  #7  
Old 27th May 2019, 22:29
A Whimsical Stranger A Whimsical Stranger is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Trust no bitch.
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  #8  
Old 28th May 2019, 00:16
Reformation Reformation is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

^ The Chimp Paradox? It's a good book and very true
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  #9  
Old 28th May 2019, 00:27
Reformation Reformation is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Things will and do get better...
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  #10  
Old 28th May 2019, 05:39
Laurel Laurel is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Always push through reality, as chances are it's different than what's in your head.
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  #11  
Old 28th May 2019, 05:45
Laurel Laurel is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Life takes a lifetime getting used to
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  #12  
Old 28th May 2019, 14:56
Pub Jo Pub Jo is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Loyalty will be rewarded.
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  #13  
Old 29th May 2019, 09:23
Marco Marco is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moksha
- The mind and body are one. If you suffer from a mental illness, think of your body as a delicate, malfunctioning machine. Be very careful how you treat it, what you expose it to, and what you put in it. Eat healthy food, practice yoga, walk in the countryside, avoid noise and stress, stay away from anyone who makes you feel worse, and read and watch cheerful things.

- People are different. Some are extroverts, some introverts; some are upbeat, high energy people, and some aren't. Plus, they are all dealing with the effects of their childhood - their parents, their siblings, their school days, etc. You just have to accept this. People don't change what they fundamentally are. And neither will you. The key is to live your life in a way that suits your temperament.

- Don't allow other people to define you. People try to label and box you, often in a way that suits them and makes them feel good about themselves. Resist this.
Great post, Moksha. I think you're spot on that the key is to try to live our lives to suit our temperament - not always easy in this day and age when you're a socially anxious introvert, but it's sound advice.
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  #14  
Old 2nd June 2019, 17:58
anewyear anewyear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Great post, Moksha. I think you're spot on that the key is to try to live our lives to suit our temperament - not always easy in this day and age when you're a socially anxious introvert, but it's sound advice.
Yeah, 100% agreed. I just posted elsewhere about having respect for yourself and I think this is part of it. People are different, possibly in ways that we can't see. We have SA and are therefore "different" to the majority (no idea on percentages). Being different doesn't make us wrong. Actually, if everyone is different then being so actually makes us normal..!
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  #15  
Old 2nd June 2019, 22:35
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Another biggie is to be careful who you allow into your life. The wrong people can wreak ****ing havoc on your mental health and self-esteem. Being married to the wrong person, or having kids with them, must be a living hell.
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  #16  
Old 3rd June 2019, 19:27
Pub Jo Pub Jo is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

If you suddenly come by/inherit a large amount of money dont be a people pleaser and p#ss it away on others.Hide it and just treat your nearest and dearest occassionally because it wont last long if you tell everyone and its back to being poor again.
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  #17  
Old 17th August 2019, 00:11
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

People who try to define innocent others as something negative are full of shit and actually feel that way about themselves.
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  #18  
Old 17th August 2019, 16:39
You Have 0 New Messages You Have 0 New Messages is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Sitting back waiting for life to happen probably isn't going to work.
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  #19  
Old 17th August 2019, 17:42
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Nobody is going to come knocking on my door wanting to be my friend, and if they did I probably wouldn’t answer the door lol.
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  #20  
Old 17th August 2019, 18:05
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by You Have 0 New Messages
Sitting back waiting for life to happen probably isn't going to work.
...and nothing or no one is going to come to your rescue. I always had this stupid feeling that the Universe/God would somehow intervene to help me. I never dreamed I'd still be trapped in this prison 20 years later.
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  #21  
Old 17th August 2019, 18:10
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

20 years is too long . While it’s usually true that nobody is going to rescue anyone, there are some kind, intelligent and even altruistic individuals around, I’ve found a few. And also some cruel, manipulative aggressive people who like to push people further down...
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  #22  
Old 17th August 2019, 18:14
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebear
20 years is too long . While it’s usually true that nobody is going to rescue anyone, there are some kind, intelligent and even altruistic individuals around, I’ve found a few. And also some cruel, manipulative aggressive people who like to push people further down...
“I learned to give
Not because I have many...
But because I know exactly how it feels to have nothing”
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  #23  
Old 18th August 2019, 15:40
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moksha
...and nothing or no one is going to come to your rescue. I always had this stupid feeling that the Universe/God would somehow intervene to help me. I never dreamed I'd still be trapped in this prison 20 years later.
But people will come along at different times and provide support and help or even just company, you will also learn things from different people and maybe not even realise it at the time. I also think that even if you take some very small steps like contributing on a forum or getting to know people online this can have a big effect for you if you let it. There isn't going to a great big thunderbolt from on high that changes your life but actually you don't need that.
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  #24  
Old 18th August 2019, 16:09
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
But people will come along at different times and provide support and help or even just company, you will also learn things from different people and maybe not even realise it at the time. I also think that even if you take some very small steps like contributing on a forum or getting to know people online this can have a big effect for you if you let it. There isn't going to a great big thunderbolt from on high that changes your life but actually you don't need that.
This has been my experience

I’m still learning
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  #25  
Old 18th August 2019, 16:14
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

I was always “withdrawn and afraid”

The mother said I “didn’t smile at strangers like other babies do”

Great to be labelled .. and a “disappointment” from birth..

Grrrrr
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  #26  
Old 18th August 2019, 16:26
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

But who am I now? I’m not that abused child...
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  #27  
Old 20th August 2019, 18:01
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Not many
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  #28  
Old 20th August 2019, 19:50
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

^ It sounds like you've been through some very hard things. It's normal for some small children to be more fearful of strangers than others but if you weren't in a good situation anyway no wonder you weren't the most smiley of babies.
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  #29  
Old 21st August 2019, 13:58
Marco Marco is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Try not to beat myself up each time I fail - it's proved the most effective way for me to learn. In fact I wish I had failed a lot more in my youth, but sadly I shied away from far too many opportunities.
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  #30  
Old 21st August 2019, 16:42
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: What lessons has life taught you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Try not to beat myself up each time I fail - it's proved the most effective way for me to learn. In fact I wish I had failed a lot more in my youth, but sadly I shied away from far too many opportunities.
I also think that it’s important not to beat ourselves up if we fail at something or make a mistake. It can be an effective way to learn.
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