Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Consolida]

^ Pretty much the same thing here


Son has gone away all week to do his national citizen service (I'm sure he is glad to get away from his witch of a mother) and the other half is suffering with stress but I know I'm not being nearly as supportive as I should be. He should be with someone much nicer. In fact they both deserve SO much better

[Schmosby]

^He only just got back from somewhere didn't he?

I Just got in. It's a beautiful day out, I'd recommend a walk in the park to anybody at a loose end.

[Indigo_]

^ Are there people you could PM? I don't mind listening

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Dougella

Originally Posted by Purplesnarf

I know!

I was in said village the s'morning

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by Schmosby

^He only just got back from somewhere didn't he

Yep, and now he is off again - such is the life of a sociable and independent 16 year old. Totally different to how things were for me at 16, thank god!!!!

Originally Posted by Melangell

^^you are not a witch of a mother lol, I should know, I have one.

He's independent and able to go away from home because you're a great mum x
They're lucky to have you x

Aww, thank you lovely I'll believe these things you say to me, if you believe the things I say to you, right?

Actually, I'm a terrible worrier and a fusspot (some might say bossy) so I'm not sure they are lucky at all. I blame my age these days

[choirgirl]

Slightly worried about my pension situation.
I don't trust the government an inch when it comes to this sort of thing, and anyway, the holes in my national insurance are rather large. But even if they weren't, I don't trust the government an inch.
Been doing calculators about how much I'd need to pay in every month to a private pension for a my idea of a basic standard of living, (which is fairly basic, I'm not some crazy middle class boomer), and it's only really doable if I get started NOW and I manage to stay almost perpetually fully employed (I am currently not fully employed) while living relatively frugally. Or if I actually start earning substantially more, but that seems unlikely given my track record so I don't want to assume that. I don't want to assume any state pension, any inheritance, any marriage (hah!) or any substantial improvement in earnings. Those things will all be bonuses.
It really is quite sobering.

[Schmosby]

I don't think they would remove the pension for people that have already been paying in while it's in place. They would just gradually force the burden onto employers. What worries me more that they keep increasing retirement age to the point where I have to be dead to claim.

[choirgirl]

^^ I think women don't really get moustaches. I suppose they like the look of it.

[edbander]

rockpools. I like rockpools. they're like a small safe section of wild nature

[Toxic]

I've rolled up to the Avengers Endgame party about 4 months late

Just watched it and have absolutely no idea if I liked it/if it was worth the wait, my poor little bladder wasnt up for a 3hr film..the last half an hour it was touch and go but my remote had ran out of charge so I couldn't pause it

[newbs16]

I'm going to try and get back to sleep

[newbs16]

My mum has moaned today, all day long.

[jez9999]

A friend of mine's g/f has recently given birth to a baby girl. He seems predictably very happy. I'm meant to be too. But all I can think about is how I'll probably never know that feeling. Utterly depressed and frustrated. And womens' motherly instinct is meant to be STRONGER than mens' fatherly instinct. So why are none of them interested in having kids with me then, even when they get over 30?

[Deer]

Whose idea was it for me to agree to doing overtime tomorrow?! Daft sod! Another day I can't have a lie in

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by jez9999

A friend of mine's g/f has recently given birth to a baby girl. He seems predictably very happy. I'm meant to be too. But all I can think about is how I'll probably never know that feeling. Utterly depressed and frustrated. And womens' motherly instinct is meant to be STRONGER than mens' fatherly instinct. So why are none of them interested in having kids with me then, even when they get over 30?

Have you tried putting that you want to have children on your dating profiles?

[Toxic]

^ Indeed

As someone in his early 30's (sob, thats closer to mid 30's now) who has absolutely no interest in having kids, if I go on a dating site and leave all the filters, numerous pages of results. If I filter it to not having kids already and not wanting kids in the future it becomes about 3 results (not pages!) on a good day

I would have thought a man approaching the age where certain biological clocks start getting louder and they also want kids, would have at least some chance!

[limey123]

Obsessing over my second interview next week. While I'm flattered (and a little surprised) to have been selected, I am worried about meeting potential future colleagues, and especially one of the big bosses. What should I say to them exactly? Will it become obvious to the others I'm SA? I'm also expecting to be grilled at the interview, and I feel my answers are typically poor enough already. My mind tends to go blank and I stumble over answers, do you know what I mean? I am actually voluntarily putting myself through all this!

I've made some strides especially in recent times in tackling my SA, but this prospect has me quite worried and nervy. It may just be a step too far at the mo. I'm worried especially I'm going to do or say something stupid. But that's SA in a nutshell, I suppose.

[edbander]

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[edbander]

[You Have 0 New Messages]

Had my beautiful darling girl of 16 years put to sleep a couple weeks ago. Totally lost without her truth be told, irreparably friggin heart broken. Have thought of little else in that time.

[Schmosby]

^ Sorry to hear that

[Deer]

I wondered why the seeds were going down so quickly in my bird feeder! Bloody crows are always feasting on them!

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by You Have 0 New Messages

Had my beautiful darling girl of 16 years put to sleep a couple weeks ago. Totally lost without her truth be told, irreparably friggin heart broken. Have thought of little else in that time.

I'm sorry to hear that it is so hard losing them.

[Professor Willow]

Originally Posted by mutedsoul

Does social media add to stress?

Absolutely yes.
It leads to comparing and despairing.

[limey123]

Thanks purplesnarf and biscuits for your wishes/thoughts!

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by You Have 0 New Messages

Had my beautiful darling girl of 16 years put to sleep a couple weeks ago. Totally lost without her truth be told, irreparably friggin heart broken. Have thought of little else in that time.

I'm so sorry to hear that
Was your girl a cat or a dog? Either way, it's absolutely heartbreaking losing a beloved pet that has been a wonderful friend and companion for 16 years. I hope that the happy memories you have of her, in time, will bring you some comfort

[Consolida]

Originally Posted by mutedsoul

Does social media add to stress?

Originally Posted by D1662

Absolutely yes.
It leads to comparing and despairing.

You can say that again!


Social media has become the bane of my life and yet just deleting the lot (as I'm sometimes so tempted to do) will mean that I will lose touch with the few people that I genuinely like and perhaps feel cut off and out of touch from what's going on around me.

Most of the groups I follow on Facebook have contributed to my stress and worry. I used to be happily oblivious to the crime occurring in my area, but since joining Neighbourhood watch groups my fears have heightened to such an extent that I would no longer feel safe going for a walk alone in the evening. Not that I often did, but that's not the point!

Also a local lost and found animal group reminds me on a daily basis how many cats and dogs are subjected to cruelty and neglect. Dogs are constantly being stolen and recently there have been a spate of horrific attacks on cats by some deranged individual/s.

My husband tells me to block these groups if they are upsetting me so much but then it will feel like I'm just putting my head in the sand and naively deluding myself that everything is nicer than it is when I know it isn't.

Then there's the constant round of videos and photographs shared by the neighbours with their friends and family. It's very difficult not to compare our lives, where we don't see people from one week to the next, to the hectic socialising of the folk around us. Not that I want to be partying, boozing, and taking part in some hellish karaoke competition - but that's not really the point either! I just don't want to constantly be reminded of how unsociable and unpopular I am.

And don't even get me started on the 'likes' or lack of. 'Why doesn't he/she ever like the posts I share? Have my posts offended or irritated them? Well, they regularly share my posts so it can't be that..hmm, If they don't click 'like' it can only mean one thing - they hate me!!'

Honestly, social media is the last thing a social anxiety sufferer prone to paranoia needs in their life but its a bit like a Pandora's box - once opened it can't be shut.

[Jen.]

Originally Posted by mutedsoul

Does social media add to stress?

Watched a video from 1989 of London transport commuters. Lots of commenters said they noticed how the communes were much less stressed out compared to today. I think I just thought some commuters seemed more comfortable with their selves. Tbh I think it's cause there were more real relationship in proportion to superficial ones, these days it's the opposite. More authentic relationships means less need to feel you have to put up a facade. But the internet is also good as it provides us with much more information I guess.

I deleted my Facebook a couple of years ago and don't miss it one bit. It didn't add to stress at all since I didn't really use it anyway and nobody I knows did either, so it was pointless even having it. I only ever used Twitter in terms of checking it a few times a day (I never tweeted anything myself). I deleted my account on that a few months ago because I felt that having so much news and negativity fired at me every day was causing me to have a constant, low-level stress. I haven't missed it at all and don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Looking at news websites is just fine to stay informed of things.

One thing I do like to use is Instagram. Obviously some people go over the top with it and I guess that could contribute towards stress if you're always comparing yourself to others, but it's easy to avoid that kind of thing if you want to. I don't update it that often, only usually when I'm travelling. Mostly I just like to see what people I know are up to, and to keep an eye on what photos people are tagging me in You can check in the settings for how much you're using the app though, which is good. Mine's on about 12 minutes a day right now, which I guess isn't too bad.

[Deer]

Originally Posted by mutedsoul

Does social media add to stress?

Watched a video from 1989 of London transport commuters. Lots of commenters said they noticed how the communes were much less stressed out compared to today. I think I just thought some commuters seemed more comfortable with their selves. Tbh I think it's cause there were more real relationship in proportion to superficial ones, these days it's the opposite. More authentic relationships means less need to feel you have to put up a facade. But the internet is also good as it provides us with much more information I guess.

There is a lovely Scottish poem I read years ago. It was about the change in a community once a launderette was put into the area. It is highlighting as similar point. I wish I could find it again.

Yesterday I was sitting on my billy in a beer garden. I was watching how many couples were sitting barely talking and one of them being absorbed in their phones.I felt like slapping them over the head. I felt like slapping the guy over the head for being so rude and ignorant and I felt like slapping the woman over the head for putting up with it.

[Consolida]

^ Sometimes I send a message to my husband although we are in the same house! Like now, I'm upstairs on here, and he is downstairs playing PC games so I'll send a message such as 'Hey are you making a cup of tea?'
Still, it wasn't much better in the past. My dad would fall asleep in front of the TV all evening and my mum would go off to bed by 9pm to read a book.

Originally Posted by Melangell

I know exactly what you mean about burying your head, I have signed a few petitions in the past and it means that other issues sometimes pop up about very stressful and upsetting things. I feel like I shouldn't turn a blind eye to those things, because if everyone turns a blind eye who will care?
But in reality, how affective are these things on facebook doing the rounds? They're only informing people who are already concerned about the issues, but without any power to do anything.

Rather than following the animal lost and found pages, you could block the pages but maybe donate a few pounds a month to an animal shelter instead?

I've also signed various petitions but it usually results in me being inundated with even more petitions with increasingly upsetting pictures attached. It all becomes a bit too much
Like you say, it's the feelings of powerlessness to prevent such awful things happening to animals that distresses me. During the heat wave I shared a post about the dangers of leaving a dog in a hot car, or walking them a long hot pavements. But why? The people on my friends list have more sense than to treat their dogs like that, and the sort of people who leave a poor dog in a boiling car for two hours aren't going to stop doing that because they saw my post.

Yep, we already send money each month to a cat shelter which I know is far more proactive than reading endless posts about neglected and abandoned cats, clicking on a sad face, and feeling utterly miserable for the rest of the day.

Originally Posted by Tonkin

Don***8217;t worry about petitions and trying to save them world until you***8217;ve saved yourself and are 100% healthy. Then worry about saving the world via e-petitions.

Ha, you've made a good point there although I think there's more chance of me saving the world than getting myself 100% healthy

Thanks, btw, for all the info'

Originally Posted by jen.m.

I deleted my Facebook a couple of years ago and don't miss it one bit.

Well done on getting your life back