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  #1  
Old 19th April 2015, 11:43
David K David K is offline
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Default Don't call it a comeback

Hello, denizens of SAUK. I’m David. You may remember me from such years as 2014. You may also remember me as a positive and helpful chap, and so I apologise for the miserable post you’re about to read.

I’ve suffered from SA and depression all my life, and about a year ago my depression became so severe that I ceased to function, and my life fell apart as a result. I stopped communicating with everyone (online and offline), stopped taking care of myself, stopped doing my uni work and moved back to my parents’ house. Since then I’ve spent almost every hour of every day in bed.

I’ve seen the GP a few times, tried a couple of different meds, and had some counselling. The meds have done nothing for me at all. The counselling felt like something that could have been helpful over a longer time period, but I only got six sessions and we hardly scratched the surface. I asked the GP to refer me to a psychiatrist and I was finally put on the waiting list, three months ago. I’m still waiting.

I have no motivation or hope that I can ever get better. I can’t open up to anyone about what’s going on in my head. Talking to people about even the most superficial things is so emotionally draining that I just avoid it. I wish that everyone would forget about me so that I can die without upsetting anyone. I know enough about depression to know that I’m being irrational, but knowing that doesn’t make any difference.

I don’t know if this is an “I’m back!” kind of post, or if I’ll fade away again. I know I need to talk to people and try to rebuild myself but I decided to make this post in November and I’ve only just found the energy, so I don’t know if I can be active like I used to be.

I hope everyone here is doing fine. I see some names I recognise (hi!) and no doubt there are dozens of others with different usernames. Give me a hug I need all the hugs.
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  #2  
Old 19th April 2015, 12:35
greenman greenman is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Hello David,
I m so sorry that youve been having this really bad time. I know its difficult sometimes to get the help that you need, when you need it, so its good that you thought to make this post on here. There is help around, and I think you are doing right to come back on here. I understand how devastating depression and anxiety can be, but take comfort that there are people around you that understand and want to help. Its a slow journey at times but worth the slog. Welcome back
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  #3  
Old 19th April 2015, 12:40
hellotiger hellotiger is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

to you David.
Sorry that you're returning to us with things as they are now for you but glad to see you back regardless.
Feel free to pm me should you ever want someone to talk to but don't feel up to making a post.
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  #4  
Old 19th April 2015, 12:50
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

So sorry to read you've been struggling, David. I know how awful it can be when you're locked into that sort of mindset. You've managed to find a way out before though, so I've no doubt you can do it again with time. And I hope us lot here can help you with it.
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  #5  
Old 19th April 2015, 14:54
-Simon- -Simon- is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Sorry to hear that things have not been going well. Hopefully your posting this is an indication that you're ready to start engaging with the world again.
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  #6  
Old 20th April 2015, 08:23
David K David K is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Thanks for the nice replies, all. I'm a bit freaked out being back.
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  #7  
Old 20th April 2015, 08:37
David K David K is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

*splash*
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  #8  
Old 20th April 2015, 09:24
Azi Azi is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

I'm so sorry you're struggling at the moment.
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  #9  
Old 20th April 2015, 09:29
anxiouslondoner anxiouslondoner is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

It's good to see a familiar face but sad to hear that you are in such a bad condition. I hope that coming back here is some help to you. Take care.
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  #10  
Old 20th April 2015, 10:21
MLP James MLP James is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

I'm sorry things are so bad. Hopefully this will help a bit.
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  #11  
Old 20th April 2015, 16:43
Sunshine Recorder Sunshine Recorder is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Nice to see you back . Sorry things haven't been going well for you. I hope you can get back to how you once were.
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  #12  
Old 20th April 2015, 17:01
Mo34 Mo34 is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Hi. Welcome back.
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  #13  
Old 20th April 2015, 18:02
Olly. Olly. is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Great to see you back, David, but I'm sorry things haven't been good

Liking the new profile picture (still haven't forgotten the shifty eyes avatar lol!) and I still you remember your cracking alternative Christmas message a couple of years back
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  #14  
Old 20th April 2015, 18:36
Belinda Belinda is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Sorry things haven't been good for you David but welcome back! Hope you can find some support on here again
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  #15  
Old 28th April 2015, 05:37
flumpsy flumpsy is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

welcome david, sorry to hear you are not doing so well, plenty of tools and advice around here to help you get back on track hopefully, or at least keep up communication a bit so you dont feel too bad about how you are at present, one thing you can bet, there is bound to be somebody who has thoughts similar to you. Hope you can bring down a few of the barriers you have put up, I do the same too, they are harder to remove than put up but its worth trying, your here so you must be wanting to improve things.
be well.
Personally cbt was no use, but ACT seems like it may do, its mindfullness but without the meditation element, and spin
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  #16  
Old 30th April 2015, 17:37
David K David K is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Thanks for the welcomes, welcoming people. I have a few people I want to PM but I haven't managed it yet.

I finally got to the top of the endless waiting list and had an Introduction to Treatment meeting at a clinic in Rotherham. At my request I'm being referred to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis, as I've never had any tests to find out what my major malfunction is, and maybe my self-diagnosis is wrong. I've also been referred for Cognitive Analytic Therapy, which I've never heard of and need to look into. So I'm on two more waiting lists.
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  #17  
Old 30th April 2015, 18:11
greenman greenman is offline
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Default Re: Don't call it a comeback

Sounds promising, i hope you get the help that you need. At least things are moving forward for you in a more positive way. I must try and find out about CAT. For me the best thing was Person Centred Counselling which helped to put me back in control of my life. Good luck and let us all know how you get on
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