Interesting

[ßazzaOld]

This Thursday and Friday I went to a shop I havnt gone to in a few weeks to do some volunteer work. I discover two new peeps had started.

On thursday was a 60 year old woman who was also a volunteer and on Friday there was this kid aged 14 doing some work experience from school.

So I went and had a good yap with this 60 woman (She looks alot younger and acts it.) and started talking about my ex of all things. The conversation came up because she asked me how long I worked there. I mentioned I hadnt been there for a while because I didnt feel like it. Cos of my brake up and the conversation went on about that.. anyway. So I found myself talking quite effortlessly to this person I never met before.

Now this is the more interesting bit which I felt quite flattered by which is explained later. The next day had this 14 year old kid. (looks bit older) When I first came in that day I was quite quiet and didnt talk, avoided people. I dont know why but I didnt like seeing this young kid there he looked a bit of a chav. I think I didnt like him judging me because I look young and nearly all young kids expect me to act like them.

As they day went by I didnt really bother talking to him. Someone else who works there talked to him most the day and was joking about stuff. Now that other person knows I dont always talk to peeps as I find it difficult. So I reckon she perposely made jokes to get us to interact a bit more and make things fun. Which worked cos I started enjoying his company a little. She left and we started talking about stuff.

I was asking him if he hanged out on the streets much and hassled people (not worded like that lol!) He talking about he didnt really see the point or understand why people did that but he did hang about a bit. The conversation turned to disabilities and the others who worked in the shop. He was asking about them and their problems. After talking about that he seemed pretty nice and didnt mind those problems with the others. He gave a strong impression of someone who wouldnt take the piss and didnt mind such things.

Now my problems probably arnt very noticable to this kid. So I decided to start talking about my dyslexica and aspergers as a starting point. Then about how it made it difficult for me to talk in conversations. (I didnt mention sa but blamed it on the aspergers.) He goes on surpised and said he didnt notice anything wrong with me really and seemed rather normal. *Flattered*

Now this is like a kid who hangs about on the streets a bit with his m8s. Bit of a chav imo although he denies it lol.

That was kinda nice compliment because I know in the morning I completly avoided him and was rather quiet to everyone because of his presence. Its not like I judged 'him' negatively but rather myself as he was a bit of a.. well.. he wore alot of fashionable clothes and hair style. So I think I judged myself more that he would find me 'weird' in some way. He also talked ALOT which made me sound even quieter or less normal.

The problem I still have in both of those situations and everyone else who works there is, my mind goes blank when trying to think of things to say. I know my sa hasnt been bad over the years and my real problems stem around general anxiety rather than people. Saying that that doesnt mean I dont have trouble with people too because I do. I certainly noticing I am more willing to talk about my problems in a non direct sense. I still have trouble thinking of things to say to people I dont know though! I can talk if they start a conversation and keep it going.

Its easier giving a basic low down of my problems, blaming it on aspergers and only explaining in more detail at a later date when I feel they understand be better through interaction. Since my aspergers 'is not' the problem here, its very mild. Its easier to blame it on that though when I say 'I have trouble doing conversations' an that.

I was a bit annoyed at how those two made such easy conversation though. Like its so easy for them and to joke together. My mind just goes blank whenever I try do that with someone I dont know unless they talk alot.

Normally i would expect in that situation for a young chav to mercilessly swoop down on any percieved weakness and mock it.

But the fact that he saw nothing wrong with you and you got along with him ok shows that to all extents and purposes you come across as fine and 'normal' to people that you meet, that gives you a clean slate from which you can work on other social skills, at least you know you dont immediately come across as weird or whatever.

its nice to hear things like that, im happy for you