making friends

[talisman]

I have no friends (in the 'offline' world)...last time I had a friend (over 5 years ago I guess) was at school and when I went to uni, I lost contact with him. Never made any friends at uni and so far none at work...

Even when I had a friend, I can't say he was that close...friendships require going out, being active, being somewhat adventurous and sadly I have trouble doing those things. My parents also used to get in the way, not giving me a great deal of freedom or encouraging me to have friends, so I'm probably more used to being alone than with people.

I have a few online friends from the ShyUnited chatroom (I know some are on here too ), but I dunno if online mates really translate into 'offline' ones (issues of distance aside).

If I'm gonna have friends, I want them to be close friends. If I don't detect the possibility of making a close friend from someone, I probably wouldn't make much effort to get to know them tbh...

[tra-la-la]

I'm actually really lucky in that I've got 2-3 really good friends who understand that I can sometimes be completely quiet and 'blank' when in a pub with them, and don't make a deal of it at all, and will invite me out again the next night where there's a possibility that I'll have one of my 'good days' and be on a level approaching normallity.

It is a bit of a bugger though. Friday I had a very-much up day, whereas yesterday started well, and then went absolutely catastrophic in the evening, probably the worst I've been for months. I think I've got an idea of what kicked it off, but that's only now in hindsight, so how my mind picked it up at the time and made me feel like an arse without it becoming obvious to me at the time is a complete mystery! It's like I don't have control over my entire mind - that there's a locked away segment that's controlled by something else when I'm in social situations. I'm quite confident I will get control of this segment at some point, at the moment though I just don't particularly know how to go about 'quelling the rebellion', so to speak.

There are good people out there. Even with my very, very perculiar views on the world and the nature of things, I've been lucky enough to find these handful of people that see and think of things in the same way as me. Perhaps the views we share are more conducive and welcoming to people with an affliction such as SA, but irrespective of that theory, there are people out there who understand. It's these people that I hope you can all find.

But you can't have mine.

[T]

I struggle to make new friends, i'm quite lucky coz i've kepted in touch with a few ole school friends some from primary school and one or two from secondary school which i tend to go out with but put me in a sitution where i don't know anyone then i really struggle to strike up a conversation with anyone and i really go into my shell.

[Sohosister]

Most people have very few friends and many aquaintances. I'm sure that people I work with and other none SAers may appear to have lots of people to hang out with but can they count on any for real support? You sound like you have a lot of friends here and it's not something that happens overnight. I wish I could make friends more easily but I am lucky that I have got to know at least one person very well. Don't give up hope,


Cx