My list of things i'm planning to discuss during my video clips!!

[Pal]

Hi all

I thought you may want to see my list of things that i plan to discuss during my recording. This is basically me giving my opinion and sharing my experiences of these particular SA related issues.

I would appreciate and more suggestions of things i might add or things that could also be discust.

Introduction (the purpose of these clips)
Say hi to the people of SA-UK
What is SA?
How common is SA?
What caused my SA? (Bullying)
Shyness and the difference between it and SA?

How SA can affect daily situations for me?
Telephones
Socialising
Being introduced to new people
Being teased or criticized
Being the centre of attention
Being watched while doing something
Work
Relationships
Loneliness
Suicide

Performance SA
fear of giving speeches
interviews
being observed working

Symptoms
blushing
shaking
awkward speech
sweating
intense fear
Dry mouth
Muscle twitches
Nausea
Stammering

Southampton Uni Research/Confrontation Management
Stigma attached to SA or loners
Drink and Drugs
Club 18-30
Treatments (that I believe can or do work)

Conclusion

Any thoughts?

Paul

hmm just a thought because I seem to get different SA symptoms to most. My paranoia and anxiety from SA brings on sometimes quite bad agression, normally an SAer would run away but at times when my space feels invaded and I get akward I snap and I have lamped people in the past so basically I now avoid situations which brings out SA and bouts of agoraphobia in me.

Not sure if anyone else gets this too but thats my real cause of SA avoidance of social situations due to aggression.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Moody Mare

hmm just a thought because I seem to get different SA symptoms to most. My paranoia and anxiety from SA brings on sometimes quite bad agression, normally an SAer would run away but at times when my space feels invaded and I get akward I snap and I have lamped people in the past so basically I now avoid situations which brings out SA and bouts of agoraphobia in me.

Not sure if anyone else gets this too but thats my real cause of SA avoidance of social situations due to aggression.

Interesting, i can say i get aggressive due to SA, in fact i'm not the aggressive type at all but if you really want me too i can include it.

[Pal]

Just thought of something!

Paranoia!!

I'll add that to the list.

[Pal]

I'll tell you what, i'll include aggression as i am doing this for other SAer as well as myself. However i'm not sure quite what i can say seeing as it's not really an issue for me.

[fairyfingers]

Originally Posted by Moody Mare

hmm just a thought because I seem to get different SA symptoms to most. My paranoia and anxiety from SA brings on sometimes quite bad agression, normally an SAer would run away but at times when my space feels invaded and I get akward I snap and I have lamped people in the past so basically I now avoid situations which brings out SA and bouts of agoraphobia in me.

Not sure if anyone else gets this too but thats my real cause of SA avoidance of social situations due to aggression.

I know exactly what you mean.

I normally would say I am not the least bit aggressive but when i feel someone is 'invading my space' or even worse trying to bully i can go off like a rocket. :embarass:

Its like an outer body experience i am thinking geez cool it and clam down but in truth have felt i am going to hospital on principal ( since i cant fight my way out a paper bag in reality ). But it still does not stop me doing a war dance ( never actually 'lamped' someone ) .Just have no fear of the person/people ( more situation) under such circumstances and all sense goes right out the window taken over with blind temper . I have always put it down to more nerves and panicked reaction to those situations than true aggression.

The less nervous i am the easier i can deal with them, also the older i have got they now thankfully very rarely happen.

[claprun]

Interesting list. I think it might be good to add something positive about people with SA too - for example sensitivity, thoughtfulness? Not sure if these are general traits, maybe other people have more ideas.

[Moksha]

Make sure you let us all know when you have done it pal. I have seen some of the youtube clips on SA and I think probably the best thing to do is just talk about your own experiences, about what it feels like...and speak from the heart if you know what I mean. Don't worry about theorising too much, most people who watch it will have been through all that and will get much more from just seeing you in the flesh talking about what SA is like. Hope it goes well mate- add in a brief boxing lesson just for me will you

[Pal]

Originally Posted by dharma

sorry, but i don't agree paranoia is a part of social anxiety.

paranoia is a delusional disorder and quite different from social anxiety. essentially, people with paranoia are convinced their fears are real and rational, whereas people with social anxiety know their fears and anxiety are excessive and irrational.

looking forward to seeing the video.

Possibly but when you think about it people with SA will often think irrational thoughts and start to presume things and how others percieve them. That's my take on it anyway.

I am a PTSD sufferer too so possibily some of my paranoia is down to that but often it's been about Social Related things which makes me think it really should be included.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Moksha

Make sure you let us all know when you have done it pal. I have seen some of the youtube clips on SA and I think probably the best thing to do is just talk about your own experiences, about what it feels like...and speak from the heart if you know what I mean. Don't worry about theorising too much, most people who watch it will have been through all that and will get much more from just seeing you in the flesh talking about what SA is like. Hope it goes well mate- add in a brief boxing lesson just for me will you

I'll add some advice just for you.

Slipping off topic briefly. How goes the Karate?

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by Pal

I'll add some advice just for you.

Slipping off topic briefly. How goes the Karate?

Oh great thanks. Got my orange belt. The grading was a bit of an SA nightmare. You have to do what they call 'kata' which is just a series of set moves, like a set of dance moves. But you have to do it in front of the whole class (20 odd people, mostly kids, but still ) and the examiners sit behind a table and watch. There were three of us doing it and my mind just went blank, thankfully my body sort of took over and I did it without thinking- plus the examiner we had is well known for being pretty casual. On the whole I do wish I was learning to box instead, but I couldn't do that at the moment. My uncle and two cousins all boxed as amateurs, if I saw them more I'd get them to teach me. I think so far as confidence goes you can't beat boxing.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Moksha

Oh great thanks. Got my orange belt. The grading was a bit of an SA nightmare. You have to do what they call 'kata' which is just a series of set moves, like a set of dance moves. But you have to do it in front of the whole class (20 odd people, mostly kids, but still ) and the examiners sit behind a table and watch. There were three of us doing it and my mind just went blank, thankfully my body sort of took over and I did it without thinking- plus the examiner we had is well known for being pretty casual. On the whole I do wish I was learning to box instead, but I couldn't do that at the moment. My uncle and two cousins all boxed as amateurs, if I saw them more I'd get them to teach me. I think so far as confidence goes you can't beat boxing.

I've never actually done Kata as such but we used to do sets when i was Kung Fuing which is basically the same thing.

Well done for passing.

As i've said to you before if you enjoy the Karate stick with it but there's always room for some Boxing training.

Stick the grade news in the Trophy Room!!

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by Pal

I've never actually done Kata as such but we used to do sets when i was Kung Fuing which is basically the same thing.

Well done for passing.

As i've said to you before if you enjoy the Karate stick with it but there's always room for some Boxing training.

Stick the grade news in the Trophy Room!!

Actually, I've meant to say how the hell did you manage to do boxing, being SA? Well done however you got into it. I remember my cousin telling me he threw up the first time he had to spar- out of sheer nerves (and he is generally pretty confident). And boxing clubs are pretty laddish and intimidating places for anyone, let alone someone who is lacking in confidence and self esteem.

I'm genuinely not at all bothered by the belts, I just want to get them so I can learn new moves and start actual sparring. By the way, when I said don't bother theorising on SA on your vid I didn't mean because you have nothing valuable to say, just that most SA people have done CBT and read books and so on and are up to their eyeballs with advice. I think just hearing your personal experiences will be more affecting and helpful. Good luck pal

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Moksha

Actually, I've meant to say how the hell did you manage to do boxing, being SA? Well done however you got into it. I remember my cousin telling me he threw up the first time he had to spar- out of sheer nerves (and he is generally pretty confident). And boxing clubs are pretty laddish and intimidating places for anyone, let alone someone who is lacking in confidence and self esteem.

I'm genuinely not at all bothered by the belts, I just want to get them so I can learn new moves and start actual sparring. By the way, when I said don't bother theorising on SA on your vid I didn't mean because you have nothing valuable to say, just that most SA people have done CBT and read books and so on and are up to their eyeballs with advice. I think just hearing your personal experiences will be more affecting and helpful. Good luck pal

In terms of laddism not all clubs are that bad, mine wasn't, and i learnt it because i had too so that gave me a need to go regardless of the fears.

Anywa i don't want to take this thread too far off topic but i'm glad to see you're making progress.

[Pal]

OK, i should be getting my webcam tomorrow so as soon as i've figured out how to use it properly and i'm properly psyched up i'll get on and do it. :embarass:

[Pal]

I now have the web cam, need to figure out how to use it but shouldn't take me long.

[Pal]

OK i'm pretty much good to go, just need to psych myself up for it.

Is there anything else i should discuss that hasn't been added?

[Pal]

OK

I've now decided to put the video on hold for a little bit. There are some personal and emotional issues that really need to be resolved before i do it.

It is coming, i will do it, but i think it's better to do it when i'm properly set to do so.

I might at this point encourage other people here to do videos of their own, if they feel up to it.

[anon23]

Hey, sorry if this is a bit late, only just found this thread.

as a suggestion you could possibly add some stuff about avoidant behaviour and routines. i dont know if it effects everyone but personally i find myself going out of my way to avoid people, for example doing a weekly shop by getting there at 8am when the super market opens on a saturday after which not leaving the flat until monday. if anything gets in the way of this it makes me intensly uncomfortable. id much rather have a lie in on saturdays but dont feel i can.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by anon23

Hey, sorry if this is a bit late, only just found this thread.

as a suggestion you could possibly add some stuff about avoidant behaviour and routines. i dont know if it effects everyone but personally i find myself going out of my way to avoid people, for example doing a weekly shop by getting there at 8am when the super market opens on a saturday after which not leaving the flat until monday. if anything gets in the way of this it makes me intensly uncomfortable. id much rather have a lie in on saturdays but dont feel i can.

I was planning to cover that to some degree.