getting found out

[Johnni]

I've had the oportunity to get more sociable with a old school friend who lives in the same town as me.
One of the fears i have whenever i make friends with someone is that i may get 'found out' that i have little or no close friends.
What if i regualry meet up with my friend and he brings his mates out with us which he has already, i'll bring no-one and it's kinda embaressing.
What if i meet a women (you never know lol) and she asks to meet my friends, what do i say.
It's a fear that i feel i need to keep a secret as if i get too close to someone i will get 'found out'.
It would be better i think if i had the opportuinity to be in a similar situation with other ppl where we all don't know anyone i.e 1st week at college/uni but other than that i dont know any other similar situation.

Johnny

[Freespirit]

Yeah I understand that fear. I think it is becuase we believe that they will think we are 'sad' gits for having no friends. Honesty is actually the best policy here. If you tell them soon enough that you don't have many friends then it is out in the open by your own admission and then there is no fear of getting 'found out'. Being honest, however, is very difficult. "Face the fear and do it anyway".

Daz.

[Ross PK]

You could say you've just moved to the area so you don't have any friends at the moment.

But I think when you meet someone, you don't always have to bring your friends anyway. I met an old friend once, I met him on my own and he was with all his friends, yet I did actually have a lot of friends at the time.

Then there was a friend at school, who met me and all my mates and bought a friend along with him. Now I doubt anyone would have thought he must only have one friend, I know I didn't. So I don't think anyone would think you have no friends if you come on your own.

[purplecherry]

I had that fear many years ago. But as time goes by I realize more and more that true friends don't really care about how you look, how much money you have , wheter you have friends or not, wheter you have an interesting personnality or not, wheter your boring , sad, have mental problems, they dont care as thay like you and love you for you. They see something in us that we dont always see ourselves.True friends can go beyond all that ,all the layers, the appearance they dont judge. If i feel that people are judging me, then theyre not worth it, for me to have as friends. Im looking for the real thing , to love and accept unconditionnaly and to be loved and accepted unconditionnally ( as much as possible,also keeping in mind that were all human). Life is too short for all those fake superficialities. Theyre making me sick. If people dont like me they can go to hell, I couldnt care less.

I used to think that I needed to be/look/act a certain way to have friends, and that it could never happen, so Ill have to be friendless for the rest of my life, but i realize now that thats not true.

But i understand you..... The basic human needs is to be loved and accepted. Not only Sa people but all human beings are so afraid of being rejected. Even people who wont admit it, feel that. But there is a way out! there always is, I believe the key is to love ourselves more, sooooo easy to say, I know, but its definitely worth the trouble.

Sorry if Im not really answering your question, sometimes it looks like i could go on and on for hours and it doesnt have anything to do with the thread.