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#1
9th December 2018, 22:37
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Some helpful strategies to start conversations
Hello and good evening.
I know for a fact that one worry a lot of people have about going into a social situation such as a do or a party is 'what will I say'. This is especially relevant at Christmas time that people have various dinners and parties coming up. Last night I went to the Christmas dinner for my cycling club, and it was a breeze. You might be thinking, what's a guy who's saying this about a Christmas dinner doing on a social anxiety forum? The answer is I want to share you some helpful strategies. I know what it's like to be Googling-up 'how to start conversations with people' only to end up getting confused and have your head full of contradictory information. Note; to some reading this, some of these may seem silly and obvious, but for many who're isolated and who don't know what to say this maybe of use. Bear with me a second. Top strategies;
The following are also fine if you don't know what to say;
However, the only caveat with the second list is that you'll only get a one word response or little to work with. Still, there's nothing wrong with them, at least doing this will help get you more loosened up and out your head. The strategies on the first list are things that generally give you more to work with that get a conversation going & are more likely to move the conversation to things you both want to talk about. The strategies on the second list are useful for when you can't think of anything to say & help to break the ice a bit, but don't give you much to work with and might need to b followed-up by one of the other strategies. As for the first list, there's a whole host more, but I thought I'd keep it short because I don't want to over-burden people. I know what it's like to Google up 'how to start conversations' then to end up confused. Thoughts about 'small talk' questions You may even stumble across advice saying things like 'don't ask boring small talk questions' Don't worry about asking 'boring' 'unoriginal' questions. The only reasons such questions like 'what do you do' and 'where are you from' are often advised against is because a) they are 'closed' questions that give one word answers & little to work with & b) we tend to follow them up with another closed question (I will be covering this in another post). For the time being, don't worry too much about asking those sorts of things, at least talking to people will get you out your head. Note about observation & striking up conversations (homework to practice) many of the best ways to start conversations use observations about the situation around you which you may well have heard about before. We can also make observations about the person which I haven't mentioned (such as what they might be into; for e.g. you see a bunch of people in muddy sports gear; are you guys part of the local footy team?). The thing is, it can be good to just go into public places to practice making observations about the environment; business, music, decor drinks, & even better; opinions you have, things they remind you of etc. & also people watch; what they might be into, what might be on their mind, what do they look like they do for a living? Bring out your INNER CURIOSITY. Things like this can be helpful and can make it easier to strike up conversation. It is a skill that's well worth practicing. Anyway, I hope that this has been helpful. I've covered all that needs covering. For the meantime I hope that this is helpful. I know this sounds a bit more article-like than post-like but even so, share us any further thoughts on helpful strategies to start conversations. 
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#2
10th December 2018, 00:37
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Re: Some helpful strategies to start conversations
^Also, you're quite right, your comfort levels do come into the equation quite a lot. I did thread and poll a while back identifying sources of anxiety in situaitons which you might find useful
http://www.social-anxiety-community....ad.php?t=89887
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