Do you come across other people who you suspect might have SA as well?

scratch · #1 17th November 2015, 11:19

I have worked in the same place for a number of years now and over that time I have come across a few people who I strongly suspect have SA as well.

People that display the same kind of traits as myself - quiet, shy, difficult to have conversations with, never going to social gatherings or the xmas party, things like that. This doesn't necessarily mean they have SA but it's made me realise that there are potentially a lot more people with SA out there than I previously thought. For all I know these people could be on this very forum

I can't exactly go up to these people and ask them if they have SA as they might just consider themselves as being shy and might be more confident away from the work place. Besides it may offend them.

When I went to a dim sum meet a few years ago I was genuinely worried that one of my work colleagues may just happen to be there and could be a member of this site. They weren't there but I worried about the awkwardness that would have ensued if that person was there! 'Oh.....you have SA as well'

Anyone else come across others who you suspect may have SA but can't ask them because it would be too awkward?

Armadillo · #2 17th November 2015, 12:59

Yes, a woman at work who is not very well liked because she comes across as arrogant and doesn't know how to talk to people. I try to stick up for her when people moan about her, but not very loudly cos, you know, SA.

I have tried to make conversation with her but it's not gone well. Maybe she is just arrogant and rude but I always suspect it's a wall to her SA.

Coffee · #3 17th November 2015, 15:11

Yes, all the time.

It could just be that I'm noticing what I'm most aware of and making it seem more common than it is, but I see a lot of people who are a little quiet, whose behaviour is a little off, who I can just sense are grappling with something or the other.

I always want to say something just to reach out, but I never do because I always fear it may make them feel self conscious, judge themselves, or that in making it conscious I may rob them of their coping mechanisms.

Plus of course, you can be just flat out wrong.

ynwa247 · #4 17th November 2015, 15:17

A guy in my school spoke less than me, I wish I tried to stay in contact.

AutumnLeaves · #5 17th November 2015, 18:12

Interesting thread - I have thought about this sometimes too. And yes definitely, I have met people that I suspected. The last time was a girl that worked in the cafe I used to go to every day on my break. I met her in a shop the week before she was going back home to Romania, and I wanted to ask her if she would like me to add her on facebook to stay in touch, but we both just kept grinning awkwardly and that was it... opportunity blown

Typical me lol.

purplerose · #6 17th November 2015, 19:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by woof

Yes ,there was 1 bloke I used to work with at my other office who was very quiet ....I thought to myself I wonder if he has SA.

I over heard One of the more over confident blokes even made a cruel joke about us , saying something like 'they should go on a date together, can you imagine the deep conversation they'd have ...' and laughed. I wanted to deck him

Oh that's awful !! What an idiot he is!

tryinghard · #7 17th November 2015, 19:43

Yeah, loads. It's the second most common anxiety disorder

I think there's some statistic like a fifth of people will suffer with some degree of social anxiety disorder (i.e. irrational/having a negative impact on their lives) at some point in their life, but many grow out of it.

purplerose · #8 17th November 2015, 19:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryinghard

Yeah, loads. It's the second most common anxiety disorder

I think there's some statistic like a fifth of people will suffer with some degree of social anxiety disorder (i.e. irrational/having a negative impact on their lives) at some point in their life, but many grow out of it.

Ha I wish I would just grow out of it :/

tryinghard · #9 17th November 2015, 19:48

^Would be nice, huh!

To be clear, the 'growing out of it' comes from life experience - gradual exposure, essentially: being out in the world disproving the anxieties they had. That's what's happened with me too. I haven't really made any deliberate attempt to stop feeling socially anxious, it's just happened because I have been in so many situations where I just had to hang around with or talk to other people. I've just kind of realised over time that I was wrong to think others didn't want me around.

I think starting with milder SA, or - like me - having 'secondary' SA as a result of another disorder, makes it a little easier to get over.

Dylan W · #10 17th November 2015, 21:36

I am a college freshman. From a few months of interaction with my schoolmates I have realized there are those that have those symptoms of SA. My main concern also is how to make them aware that they may be having SA and need to seek attention. One cannot fight a devil he doesn't know. I have lived with SA until I realized recently. I have messed myself with weed and alcohol thinking it would make me feel more confident. I have only ended up more desperate, lonely and scared. I am glad I now know the root and I am dealing with my condition from the root

clyde33 · #11 17th November 2015, 21:39

Yes, my dad.

Mr. Spaceman · #12 17th November 2015, 23:01

Yes but usually I'm wrong. I remember there was this girl at university who always seemed to be by herself and never spoke to anyone, plus we watched the same TV programmes as she always seemed to be in the TV lounge at the same time as me. Thing is I developed a crush on her but being the anxious wreck I was I couldn't bring myself to speak to her. Then one day I happened to be in the halls lift at the same time as her and another girl who lived on the same floor as her, and well... she was talking away perfectly naturally and confidently. What a let down lol. Mind you at the time anyone who could string a sentence together I would have considered confident and outgoing relative to me.

But one thing I've learnt from going to SAUK meets and social anxiety support groups is that it's a lot more difficult to tell who has SA than you would think. It could just as easily be the guy who appears confident and 'normal' as the person who is quiet and reserved.

Armadillo · #13 17th November 2015, 23:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Spaceman

But one thing I've learnt from going to SAUK meets and social anxiety support groups is that it's a lot more difficult to tell who has SA than you would think.

This is so true. I come across as being confident and outspoken, and the few people I have told about my SA have been really surprised. Even my ex described me as a 'tough cookie'. That's just the mask I wear and the persona I adopt to hide the anxiety.

helnhighwater · #14 18th November 2015, 09:29

Everyone has said yes so far.
Apart from me, my parents and my brother, I haven't knowingly ever meet anyone else with SA, or at least not as bad as I have it, or maybe that's just because I'm so busy concentrating on how I act in social situations, that I've never noticed anyone else struggling.

purplerose · #15 18th November 2015, 09:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by helnhighwater

Everyone has said yes so far.
Apart from me, my parents and my brother, I haven't knowingly ever meet anyone else with SA, or at least not as bad as I have it, or maybe that's just because I'm so busy concentrating on how I act in social situations, that I've never noticed anyone else struggling.

I haven't come across other people apart from family either ! That's probably because I have avoided going out for at least the last 5 years

scratch · #16 18th November 2015, 09:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by tryinghard

Yeah, loads. It's the second most common anxiety disorder

I think there's some statistic like a fifth of people will suffer with some degree of social anxiety disorder (i.e. irrational/having a negative impact on their lives) at some point in their life, but many grow out of it.

I honestly didn't know it was that common!

I think the younger teenage sufferers probably find it easier to grow out of as they learn new life experiences. If you are still suffering it after that you can get stuck in a bit of a rut which is more difficult to get out of

scratch · #17 18th November 2015, 09:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by woof

Yes ,there was 1 bloke I used to work with at my other office who was very quiet ....I thought to myself I wonder if he has SA.

I over heard One of the more over confident blokes even made a cruel joke about us , saying something like 'they should go on a date together, can you imagine the deep conversation they'd have ...' and laughed. I wanted to deck him

This reminds me of a woman I used to work with who always used to sarcastically say to me 'Can you keep the noise down over there?!' Hilarious. Not!!

indiegirl1980 · #18 18th November 2015, 20:13

I strongly suspect three people at work might have aspects of it.
I've often suspected other people of having depression as well, statistically it's more than likely in a group of 30 or so people. I suspect that the 3 I suspect of having SA may have it, but it could equally be one of the people who seem to be upbeat and confident.

db838 · #19 18th November 2015, 20:55

There's one other guy on another department at work who I see as having very similar characteristics as me, and another guy I used to work directly with who had anxiety issues and a lot of paranoia, or at least very bad mind reading and catastrophising. I have a low pay/skill job because of my SA so it's probably understandable that I'd come across others who suffer.