Jobs for SA sufferers

Deckard28 · #1 23rd January 2015, 13:19

Those of you who are currently working, what job do you do, do you enjoy it and does your SA affect you at work?
At the age of 29 I haven't found my place in the working world. Done factory work, warehouse work, waitering and currently about to finish with my current course/career path due to its unsuitability. I just can't do a job which requires you to be sociable constantly, it's to much of a strain for me. Problem is the jobs where you can be left alone to get on with tasks without needing to communicate seem.to be so limited and poorly paid. Currently thinking of training to be a truck driver. I'm.just not a people person and never have found.it natural to talk and freely mix with a range of people. Getting to a point of despair tbh as life is slipping away and I haven't even done the most fundamental thing of finding a job that I feeling content with.

Dandelion10 · #2 23rd January 2015, 16:35

Identify the general sector that you want to work in and volunteer to work in it. (Richmond Fellowship can help with that)

Develop skills that you enjoy using or are naturally good at, then you'll have a better idea of where to apply them. (local Colleges)

There's lots of people who aren't content in their line of work. I collect travel data on buses and it suits me as I'm basically on my own the whole time.

The hardest thing is meetings, I always think something bad is about to happen but I've switched to part time hours to allow me to go to Mind groups, that's the only extra curricular thing I can do to cope.

You want to get to Mind or associated support groups really because that will tackle the root of it.

Spectrelight · #3 23rd January 2015, 18:16

I'm currently delivering parcels on agency for one of the big companies since being made redundant over Christmas. I might get myself an HGV licence in the next few months and hopefully get some work with it. I'd kind of like to work in a completely different industry but I don't have the skills or experience to do it and anyway I'm not sure exactly what I'd want to do if that makes sense.

Indigo_ · #4 23rd January 2015, 19:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luna.

I find I function better in roles where I have to deal with people. I ca be very avoidant and tend to isolate myself.

Me too. I have a job with a very social aspect to it, I am talking pretty much every minute of the day and interacting with people all the time. It's incredibly stressful and pressurised but it constantly challenges my SA, which I need, as my SA isn't something that I really actively tackle when I'm not at work.

Mo34 · #5 23rd January 2015, 19:46

^
I'm the same in many ways. My last job was very sociable, dealing with parents mostly, all day long and a lot of other staff and volunteers.
It was a challenge, though when I was working I found sa somewhat easier to deal with (once I was comfortable in the job) because I was dealing with people in a 'role' rather than as a personal social interaction or as myself (if that makes sense). But I liked the busyness of it - stopped me from worrying so much as things had to be dealt with regardless.

It had a cross over effect as well on my personal life, I became somewhat more confident and happier and I suppose more sociable.

In contrast before that I worked for a mortgage company (I only lasted 4 months lol). There was only me and the boss and a couple of p/t staff who worked minimal hours. Sounds ideal for a sa'er but drove me round the bend. The boredom, the isolation, the awkwardness with the boss to be sociable/funny/interesting, made more so as it was just me and him. It made me ill and so I left.

Indigo_ · #6 23rd January 2015, 19:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mo34

It was a challenge, though when I was working I found sa somewhat easier to deal with (once I was comfortable in the job) because I was dealing with people in a 'role' rather than as a personal social interaction. But I liked the busyness of it - stopped me from worrying so much as things had to be dealt with regardless.

I could have written this myself

My SA still affects me at work but I have to get on with things as they're part of my job. Telephone calls, speaking to strangers, etc are all easier at work because as you have said, I'm dealing with others within my 'role' and not as me. It's when I'm not at work, when I'm not in that role, that I really struggle. Almost like I don't know how to be 'me' without my job? Well that's just sad...

Wings · #7 23rd January 2015, 22:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by DefyingGravity

Me too. I have a job with a very social aspect to it, I am talking pretty much every minute of the day and interacting with people all the time. It's incredibly stressful and pressurised but it constantly challenges my SA, which I need, as my SA isn't something that I really actively tackle when I'm not at work.

this is really interesting. I constantly think that I'd like to be left alone at work and not be challenged.. that I'd be happier with a job like that. Years ago I was a ward assistant at a hospital and all I did was cleaning and dishing out food to patients.. no one really talked to me and I didn't mind going to work.

Now I work in an office and constantly have to talk to other people. for meetings I take beta blockers and weeks before presentations I'm worrying about them... I find this all incredibly stressful and I'm not sure if I can ever work my way out of relying on medication. I don't know if I'm tackling it as you say, by being forced into situations. maybe it's a good mind frame to have!

Indigo_ · #8 24th January 2015, 10:01

^I would add that for me, I'm surrounded more by children than adults but I do still need to interact with other adults on a regular basis. I generally enjoy my job so that overrides some of my SA I think. Without the social aspect of my job I would be pretty isolated and cut off from everyone else. It's about finding the right work environment for you, I personally wouldn't be able to cope working in an office. It's too personal I think? If that makes sense. 90% of talk that occurs at my work place is work-related. I'm not sure that would be the same for an office environment. Maybe I'm just relying on a stereotype there?

Tom Morello · #9 24th January 2015, 10:18

To be honest I don't think there are many, I do an admin job which would be considered as a bit anti social by many but there are still areas of it which involve interaction, it can't be avoided. When I started I found a lot of the social part very difficult to cope with but that's how I learnt and my SA has improved dramatically, now I don't find it bad at all. Of course, you need to be working with good supportive people which I've been lucky with, they saw past my early difficulties and gave me a chance without putting me down and that has seen rewards.

No matter how much I said before this job came along that I hated social interaction, I NEED it, it's what keeps me going day to day and if I was hiding away from it like before then I would be depressed and restricted most of the time.

The point I'm making is that avoiding jobs with interaction isn't necessarily a good way to go. It might feel safer but safe isn't necessarily good when SA is concerned.

This is something I posted in October (yes in the work toilets) a couple of weeks into my current job:

Quote:

I just can't do jobs with any significant amount of human contact. I just can't cope, half the problem is me piling extra pressure on myself to be perfect. I'm sat in the toilets wanting to just hide all day. Is there any job that isn't go to screw with my head and send me into a meltdown? My mum will probably throw me out if I quit another thing. It just isn't an option

Now I would say that most of that has gone. I actually like my job now.

scarlettgirl · #10 24th January 2015, 10:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by biscuits

One that pushes you and helps to build your confidence and help you challenge the negative thoughts you have about yourself.

important!! Before i got my current job (been there over three years now) i was inclined to go weeks without human contact. Now i'm talking all the time but partly because i have become comfortable in the job. Its not easy and it will probably be a nightmare for the first few weeks or months (and not gonna lie, even now I get very anxious). the point is that the experience will make you deal better. don't quit on something too quickly.

scarlettgirl · #11 24th January 2015, 16:31

i'm not saying it's going to help if you force someone to be social, but finding a job which involves even just an hour's social contact is helpful enough. I thought i wanted to be alone but i found that i did feel left out in social situations and i wanted to make the effort not to be. although i'm still far less keen to socialise than people around me, i find i need it every now and then as most people seem to. and i agree, but there is plenty of terrible bullying that goes on in any workplace environment unfortunately. it seems like the only way to avoid that kind of thing is work for yourself.

Wings · #12 24th January 2015, 18:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by DefyingGravity

90% of talk that occurs at my work place is work-related. I'm not sure that would be the same for an office environment.

where I work 95% of the talking is work related, but I don't find that easier.

I don't see what's wrong with having an "easy" job that doesn't require people interaction, and just avoiding the SA problem. if there's nothing causing a problem, there's no problem right?

I wish I could stay at one place forever and just get to know the people and the work and know what to expect everyday. unfortunately I think it's up or out and as soon as I get more knowledgeable I expect I'll need to get higher...or have people think what's wrong with me, why am I not getting promoted etc. Then I'll be out looking for a new job and SA all over again with a new boss argh!

wouldn't it be blissful to work all day with say, trees or animals..

Indigo_ · #13 24th January 2015, 20:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ding

where I work 95% of the talking is work related, but I don't find that easier.

I think I find work-related talk easier because I find it doesn't make me as anxious. I know what I'm talking about, I can contribute and feel relatively like an equal. Talk regarding personal lives, where you're expected to talk about your personal life (even something as simple as what you're doing at the weekend) leaves me wanting to escape the conversation pretty quickly. I feel I have very little to contribute and am not on an equal footing with my colleagues.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ding

I don't see what's wrong with having an "easy" job that doesn't require people interaction, and just avoiding the SA problem. if there's nothing causing a problem, there's no problem right?

A few months ago, I probably would have agreed with you. But avoiding the SA problem doesn't make the problem go away. Yes, it is easier if you avoid situations that aggravate your SA, and to a certain extent, I still try to do that. But the problem will always be there, under the surface.

Silent Ninja · #14 24th January 2015, 21:00

A job that pays lots of money for reading forums for the socially anxious on the internet.

More seriously, I've always thought that a job in a library might be good for SAers, quiet and (hopefully) relaxed, although I guess there'd be the public facing role some might not like.

clyde33 · #15 24th January 2015, 23:11

My job involves talking non-stop from the minute i get into work until the minute i leave, and being around lots of people all the time. I have to appear confident at all times and in control. I've done it for so long now that i'm good at putting on an act, but by the time i get home i am absolutely utterly drained of all energy and exhausted beyond all comprehension. It takes it out of me and leaves me fit for nothing but my bed. Thankfully i don't work weekends so i can have two days to myself if i'm lucky. I'm self-employed and run my own business and can't afford to stop what i'm doing. Ideally i'd like my own office with nobody else around all day and a job where i didn't have to speak at all or mix with anyone. That would be ideal for me. Not going to happen though.

Wings · #16 24th January 2015, 23:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by DefyingGravity

I think I find work-related talk easier because I find it doesn't make me as anxious. I know what I'm talking about, I can contribute and feel relatively like an equal.

opposite for me lol. I started this job a few months ago and don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm not good at pretending to know.. so everytime the big boss walks by I worry he's going to ask me something and I won't know what to say. I guess the worst is I say "I don't know but let me get back to you" but it doesn't exactly inspire confidence

Indigo_ · #17 24th January 2015, 23:39

^ Give yourself time, you've only been in the job for a few months. I've been at my current place of work for nearly five years and I didn't find work related talk particularly easy at the beginning

Carmine · #18 25th January 2015, 06:11

Working at nights in a quiet place, such as a night nurse or security guard in a museum, haunted house and warehouse. Doing work in a quiet offce by yourself. Librarian. Kitchen duties. Porter. Sewage systems work. Making clothes. Working in a small group. Farm work. Working with animals instead of people.
Anything that avoids meeting members of the public.

anxiouslondoner · #19 25th January 2015, 08:19

Computer programmer. I work in an office but often won't be speaking to anyone except at coffee breaks (I don't even drink coffee but go to the kitchen to chat and take my eyes off the screen)
Even people sitting next to one another chat via instant messaging. Not all places are that asocial though.

Silent Ninja · #20 25th January 2015, 20:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by multiple miggs

i like the idea of working in a library or book shop. i am quite knowledgeable about lit. though id most likely crap myself the first time someone spoke to me,lol. its a good suggestion though.

The advantage of the library though is anyone who speaks to you will have to do so quietly.

Mojow · #21 25th January 2015, 22:17

You can actually get a fairly decent paid job assessing Google search results/ adverts and so on.

They outsource the recruitment/ work through various agencies, one is called LionBridge.

Its a pretty anti-social job, but I imagine lots of us here are sat on the computer several hours a day so why not earn some money, if anything it could be something in the meantime or for a reference in the future.

Hythlodaeus · #22 26th January 2015, 23:26

I was (I suppose I still am) a scientist. People think science and maths involves no interaction or public speaking and so is a good career choice for awkward people, but I had to present my work (an update about what I was doing and suchlike) every other Wednesday to my team which comprised about a dozen people... and then I had to invite the team to ask any questions. It was like the worst thing ever and I ended up an emotional wreck. I was on a one-year contract fresh from uni and as that came to its end I was invited to apply to have my contract extended but I was in a dark place and I couldn't cope so I didn't make the application. SA has literally ruined my career.

Hythlodaeus · #23 26th January 2015, 23:36

Then I applied to Cambridge to do a PhD in neuroscience and was invited for an interview. At the interview, my mind went blank and I must have come across as a vegetable or something as I could barely say anything.

Wings · #24 27th January 2015, 01:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2@ck

I was (I suppose I still am) a scientist. People think science and maths involves no interaction or public speaking and so is a good career choice for awkward people, but I had to present my work (an update about what I was doing and suchlike) every other Wednesday to my team which comprised about a dozen people... and then I had to invite the team to ask any questions. It was like the worst thing ever and I ended up an emotional wreck. I was on a one-year contract fresh from uni and as that came to its end I was invited to apply to have my contract extended but I was in a dark place and I couldn't cope so I didn't make the application. SA has literally ruined my career.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2@ck

Then I applied to Cambridge to do a PhD in neuroscience and was invited for an interview. At the interview, my mind went blank and I must have come across as a vegetable or something as I could barely say anything.

totally understand your situation. I thought the same about my line of work but I guess in any job there's some level of keeping others informed/training others.
I didn't use to have SA this bad at work, then one day I had a meeting with some colleagues and the CFO who I rarely dealt with.. I had to explain something and I couldn't find the right words to explain it so got more and more panicked until I had a panic attack. poor CFO didn't understand what was going on and asked if I was in need of medical attention.
after that I was always nervous about meetings and presentations and currently relying on beta blockers.

I find it helps to tell people you're nervous. Like "slow me down if I'm talking too quickly, presentations always make me nervous"
also the more I care about the situation the more nervous I am.. so I try to think to myself, I don't care if these people think I'm weird/incompetent. The worst that will happen is I don't get promoted/get fired and I just find another job

at the moment I'm just trying to get through one day at a time. If I think about all the moments where I will get nervous I'll just go crazy, so I just worry about getting through the day

sorry for the ramble. I'm totally annoyed at the unfairness of SA in the workplace. it's not like we're incompetent.. if we didn't have SA we'd be amazing.

anyways, don't give up

chicopada · #25 27th January 2015, 09:56

I was a cleaning surpervisor which involved lots of social interaction and having to be available any hour of the whole week. I was constantly stressed, waiting for the phone to ring. Finally reduced my hours and role to 3 fixed hours, 5 days a week, as well as caring for my mum who has alzheimers.
Does anyone have a small ebay business, how well do you do from it ? Me and a friend are thinking of giving it a go.

Other sa friendly jobs ive done are long distance courier and tree felling for the forestry.

I agree, you have to find a level of social interaction that challenges you but not to the point where your stress levels are through the roof !