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  #1  
Old 8th April 2015, 21:01
greenman greenman is offline
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Default Getting Older - Image

OK so Im looking at a recent photo someones taken of me and i notice how old im beginning to look, quite scary really!! This really confirms to me, (Ive just reached 50 now) that everything is deteriorating. My health is, my energy and enthusiasm for life is misplaced somewhere and i cant find the person i once was. Part of me is afraid of what ive become ie feeling that life has passed me by and another side to me feels angry and let down as if to say is this what ive got to look forward to. Another side to me wants to fight back but i fear im rapidly losing that. Any advice or shared wisdom would be much appreciated right now as maybe im just feeling a bit low
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Old 9th April 2015, 18:16
-Simon- -Simon- is offline
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Default Re: Getting Older - Image

I feel your pain, I've just turned 50 too. When motivated, I can exercise and eat well and feel good about myself but I've been experiencing a bit of a binge period these last couple of weeks or so and now feel old, fat and tired. I really want to be healthy in my old age but my fondness for food and drink, coupled with my non-existent will power, is working against me.
So I can preach to you about the importance of keeping physically and mentally active but I need to take a bit of my own medicine.
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  #3  
Old 9th April 2015, 21:34
Azalea Azalea is offline
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AT 52 I think I've given up, doesn't seem much point trying to change things now.
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  #4  
Old 12th April 2015, 00:21
greenman greenman is offline
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Quote:
You could take up an active hobby like gardening , flying kites or nature walks.
I think starting a new hobby might give me some more purpose in life and move me away from focusing on how I look. An SAUK meet might be good if I can find one locally. I like the idea of kite flying! You have some useful advice thanks
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  #5  
Old 12th April 2015, 12:24
Winnie57 Winnie57 is offline
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Hi greenman

I am sorry you feel the way you do. I am 57 and have not given up on myself. I find doing jobs around the house and garden gives me satisfaction when I feel energised and motivated to do them.

I hope you can get to an SA-UK meet. It would be good to have one for over-50s although I am not sure there are that many of us who could get together in one place. We are probably too scattered.

There is nothing wrong with trying to look your best and you can achieve this with new clothes, haircut, exercise and diet (doesn't have to be drastic - could be just minor changes). Perhaps you could change your image a little and wear a style of clothes that you would not normally wear but that you maybe have always wanted to. I often feel better when I am wearing something new.

It might be a good idea to get some sort of counselling as talking about how you feel is often beneficial and you and your counsellor might be able to work out solutions to obstacles to your well-being as well as ways of dealing with your anxieties.

This article lists 50 things to do to get yourself out of a social-anxiety rut which can be applied to any age.

Social Anxiety rut - 50 ideas
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  #6  
Old 15th April 2015, 02:50
flumpsy flumpsy is offline
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[sorry,had a rethink]
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  #7  
Old 16th April 2015, 09:47
desi99 desi99 is offline
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Default Re: Getting Older - Image

whoever said that life begins at 40 did not have a clue, life starts to go downhill fast after 40.
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  #8  
Old 17th April 2015, 00:30
R.H.I.N.O. R.H.I.N.O. is offline
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Being the wrong side of 50 i'm finding increasingly difficult. It's that realisation that i am on the home straight and my life is not going to get any better from this point onward. My many regrets are becoming more and more apparent. If only........................
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  #9  
Old 17th April 2015, 20:28
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: Getting Older - Image

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Originally Posted by desi99
whoever said that life begins at 40 did not have a clue, life starts to go downhill fast after 40.
God ain't that the truth!! Turning 30 was one of the worst experiences of my life, but turning 40 is going to be hell. I am 38 now and the months just seem to zip by like lightning flashes. I'd like to punch the idiot who said "life begins at 40"; 40 is the beginning of the end. I'd also like to punch the idiot who first said "it's never too late" (it almost always is). The truth is that your teens, 20s and early 30s are the best years. Those are the years in which you do all the exciting things you are supposed to tell your grandchildren about; you go through the big rites of passage: the first kiss, losing your virginity, setting off for Uni, travelling the world, building a career, working abroad etc. But SA destroyed all of that. I was pondering whether to go travelling a few weeks ago. I have been talking about this for 15 years but never had the guts to do it. I suddenly realized how odd I'd look 'going travelling' at 38. It is something you do when you are 18, or 23, not when you are nearly 40.

God I wish no one kept track of your age. What is good after 40? The body begins to fall apart: libido drops, looks fade, muscles weaken, hair greys and thins and you have to face the fact that the best years are over. Your life is no longer something that is all ahead of you, but something that is mostly behind you. You aren't going anywhere any more. No one is really interested in the middle aged, it's only the young who matter. Being young was horrible, but at least I had hope. No matter how unhappy I was, my life was still in front of me and there was a chance that things would work out. Now I know it won't. Time will speed up and my 40s will be over in a flash. Things are simply going to get worse and worse until some hideous disease like cancer or alzheimers ends this horrendous existence.


Did anyone see a documentary a few weeks ago on suicide? There was a guy on there who'd starred in Downton Abbey but had to leave after his wife killed herself. He was interviewed in the documentary and he said "she never really got over turning 50. She felt her life was over". Age is not 'just a number' when that number can cause nervous breakdowns and even lead to suicide. It doesn't surprise me that in the USA people actually undergone therapy specifically to help them cope with turning 40 or 50. Apparently the person most likely to kill themselves in the UK is a single man aged 44. I can totally understand why. You have just gone over the tip of the hill and are starting your downward descent. If you haven't started a fulfilling career, had children or met 'the one' you probably never going to.
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  #10  
Old 19th April 2015, 01:39
GhostOnMagneticTape GhostOnMagneticTape is offline
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Default Re: Getting Older - Image

Biologically and psychologically are we meant to live beyond a certain age?

My Dad is 82, suffering crippling spinal arthritis, barely able to walk, in pain every day, sits around in a chair watching TV waiting for something to happen.

My conscience is challenged regularly when he tells me he does not want to live in an old people's home wasting away being spoon fed and having his backside wiped for him. Quality over quantity of life anyone?

(Sorry if this post came across as intense and provocative, not meant to, just being being blunt and honest).
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  #11  
Old 19th April 2015, 12:43
greenman greenman is offline
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Quote:
i've come across many, many of the elderly sort who seem to be on the very verge of sustainability, living in homes way beyond their means. When i hear about the 'housing crisis', i often think about these many homes, with one elderly occupant, and it does make me think
Its interesting what you say about the housing crisis and all these single occupants who are elderley people. Maybe their homes are the last thing they have to cling onto in this life which give them some independence. Also financially it gives them something to sell to pay for care. Increasingly I feel that old people are abandoned or seen as worthless or a burden on society, maybe we lack respect or think we are somehow better than they.
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  #12  
Old 28th July 2015, 20:51
cutepuffins cutepuffins is offline
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Default Re: Getting Older - Image

I think i'm regressing
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