Is it possible to live your whole life alone?

onone · #1 9th August 2007, 18:13

Have any of the older people here been friendless and partnerless their entire lives or do you know anyone who has?

Or do you think it would eventually drive a person mad?

Winnie57 · #2 9th August 2007, 21:52

I don't think it's possible for people with SA as most of us want to be around other people. The desire to be round other people wins over the fear of being around other people in most cases.

The Lone Stranger · #3 9th August 2007, 22:36

I have so far but not by choice and it does drive me mad.

Big John · #4 9th August 2007, 22:38

you're right Winnie. I find the whole situation a bit of a 'catch22' situation. I'm actually desperate to be with someone, ie/ a girlfriend, which is natural I suppose, but my SA stops me dead in my tracks, so it will never happen I reckon.

Winnie57 · #5 10th August 2007, 11:25

Try to be positive Big John and D66 - with the right help it CAN and WILL happen

#6 10th August 2007, 11:41

I would guess there must be a lot of people who actually choose this.

One sad story that I always remember was an old bloke who lived alone in one end of a one room cottage on a Scottish croft, with his cow at the other end (seriously). He was very happy, and had lived and worked on the croft all his life.
Of course for the authorities, this just WON'T do, we must live like them or not at all, so they forced him into a care home. He was dead within a month, the shock of losing his solitude, and way of life was too much.

Not really realevent to the question, but I just wanted to share it.

Gattaca · #7 11th August 2007, 21:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by onone

Have any of the older people here been friendless and partnerless their entire lives or do you know anyone who has?

Or do you think it would eventually drive a person mad?

I've always had a friend or two around but never had a partner nor ever wanted one. I really do prefer my own company and the thought of someone hanging around all the time would in fact drive me mad

caughtbythefuzz · #8 11th August 2007, 21:54

It's possible in that you won't grow two heads or nuffin, but it's hardly the way ahead. Do you enjoy your own company - that's a major factor to consider. Humans are social creatures after all; I think you'd possibly get very depressed and perhaps die younger, I don't know.

onone · #9 11th August 2007, 23:57

I don't know if I would say I was happy being alone but I have become used to it. The only thing which distresses me is being around other people. The more time I spend on my own the happier I am.
I do worry though, if I haven't gone insane.
I will take a fortnights holiday from work and not speak to anyone for 16 days and it feels completely normal to me.
Alot of people would think that was quite strange.

Andrew_uk · #10 12th August 2007, 21:43

Yes through it depends on the person. We are social creatures and most human beings crave or even require social interaction. The harshest punishment in prison is solitary confinement. I do see TV and other forms of entertainment bridging the gap as we as a society are not as social as we used to be. How many street parties have you seen?

But to show how someone can desire solitude the below is copied from a website:

'Tom Neale. After decades of bumming around the South Pacific, Neale realized his life's dream on October 7, 1952, when he was put ashore on Suwarrow atoll in the Cook Islands and took up residence in an old WWII coastal watchers' shack. Subsisting mainly on what he could catch or raise, Neale lived contentedly alone until arthritis sent him back to civilization in 1954. He returned from 1960 to 1963 and again from 1967 to 1977, when cancer forced him to check into a hospital, dying that year at age 75. Does the South Pacific have a lot of large, uninhabited islands that could sustain a person indefinitely? Who cares? As Neale showed, all you need is one. '

So it all depends on the person.

Ross PK · #11 13th August 2007, 23:23

Oh yeah, definatley.

I had friends but as for partners, I've been alone all my life and will be alone for the rest of my life, just watch.

#12 14th August 2007, 00:49

Well, in some cases you don't have a choice as in my case, so i suppose you have to be prepared for it. So yes it is possible, but i don't see it as a good thing at all, people shouldn't be on their own, but like i said, sometimes you just don't get the choice

#13 14th August 2007, 04:47

Quote:

I've been alone all my life and will be alone for the rest of my life, just watch.

Same here.

@Muffin.Dont write yourself off mate.At least you were married once right?Shows you must have something going for you.

tghe-retford · #14 14th August 2007, 07:23

It is possible to live your whole life alone if you decide to, but sadly and more tragically, in the same way that other bad things happen in life, there will be people who will have to live alone not through choice. I'm not sure of the types of people who would end up alone though, but if from what I have read is true, "nice guys" are most likely to end up alone.

As for me, no - I'm not alone, I have people around me. As for a partner, that's another story...

Ross PK · #15 14th August 2007, 12:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fugmaster

Same here.

@Muffin.Dont write yourself off mate.At least you were married once right?Shows you must have something going for you.

Yeah Muffin, the fact that you've been married once proves it is possible and you are able to attract a member of the opposite sex. Just keep trying everything you can and I'm sure eventually it will happen for you again.

The Lone Stranger · #16 14th August 2007, 20:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muffin Head

Well, in some cases you don't have a choice as in my case, so i suppose you have to be prepared for it. So yes it is possible, but i don't see it as a good thing at all, people shouldn't be on their own, but like i said, sometimes you just don't get the choice

I`ve got no choice either.

Winnie57 · #17 15th August 2007, 00:10

But you have got a choice - there are places you can make friends even if you're shy. If you want it badly enough you will do it.

Thinking negatively will not get you friends or a partner.

#18 15th August 2007, 00:26

You guys are just lovely, thanks for your kind words. Fugmaster, Ross and D66, i would so love you to find partners.

I realise that i've been married once, and i've even had 2 relationships after my divorce, but all have failed and it's left me seriously wondering, with each failure it casts bigger doubts on myself so i really don't know anymore. I would like to think it's possible still but right now i am very confused to the point where i've really shyed away a little.

Winnie, your sentiments are totally correct, but it isn't very easy when you're feeling out of sorts and confused. There isn't many places for "shy" people to find a partner, not that i know of anyway

Winnie57 · #19 15th August 2007, 01:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muffin Head

Winnie, your sentiments are totally correct, but it isn't very easy when you're feeling out of sorts and confused. There isn't many places for "shy" people to find a partner, not that i know of anyway

I do know what it is to feel desperate and down - only a few weeks ago I was in that place myself. So I'm sorry if I sounded complacent. I've got used to living on my own - I would find having friends around all the time too much I think although a partner is something different.
I'm sorry if my new positive stance is inappropriate

I was thinking on the lines of meets and SA support groups and there are shy dating sites I believe.

But I still have faith that none of us have to live our lives alone.

to all...

The Lone Stranger · #20 15th August 2007, 02:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winnie57

But you have got a choice - there are places you can make friends even if you're shy.

I can`t get out of the house for long enough to go to any places because of my mum.

#21 15th August 2007, 04:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winnie57

I'm sorry if my new positive stance is inappropriate
...

No way Winnie !!! This is exactly the kind of thing that's required and don't let anybody tell you otherwise, being positve is good. Don't get me wrong, i'm not going to be negative about this but just really just reflecting on past stuff that hopefully won't be repeated in any potential eventuality.

ALiAS! · #22 15th August 2007, 10:31

That's the spirit Muffin Head! You're a great guy and I'm sure you (and all the others) will find your special someone when the time is right

rayman · #23 15th August 2007, 20:23

I do have a few friends but as for a girlfriend or wife .. i have given up of ever meeting someone

Winnie57 · #24 15th August 2007, 21:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross PK

Trust me, some of us really don't have a choice, it's a condition called Incel.

What does Incel mean?

tghe-retford · #25 15th August 2007, 22:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winnie57

What does Incel mean?

Involuntary Celibacy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy

Dannysbabe · #26 16th August 2007, 01:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by rayman

I do have a few friends but as for a girlfriend or wife

I'm free!!

Andrew_uk · #27 16th August 2007, 14:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dannysbabe

I'm free!!

I don't think danny would agree!

rayman · #28 16th August 2007, 18:19

Ross PK · #29 17th August 2007, 23:47

It's nice to see that a lot of people on here get together. Just a shame that a small few of us don't and never ever will, on any forum.

Dannysbabe · #30 18th August 2007, 00:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew_uk

I don't think danny would agree!

Well seeing as he's a character in a tv programme he wouldnt have much choice