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  #1  
Old 25th July 2014, 12:32
Alena Lunae Alena Lunae is offline
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Smile I barely have social anxiety anymore.

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  #2  
Old 25th July 2014, 16:23
Progress Progress is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

That's really great AL

Sounds like the big thing for you was opening up about your anxieties. I'm a big believer in being more honest and open about feelings as a solution. I don't think you necessarily have to come out and say 'I have SA' or anything like that, but admitting when you're feeling anxious or if you're not keen on socialising is a more subtle half way house. I think a big part of problems can be the emotional energy spent trying to cover up our SA. Being a bit open if we're having a difficult time can make it so much easier, and as you say people will try and help.
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Old 25th July 2014, 16:53
Alena Lunae Alena Lunae is offline
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Old 25th July 2014, 21:26
Lifebuoy Lifebuoy is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

I really liked what you wrote, too. Sometimes you see something in SAUK that strikes a cord. And the way you wrote it is so laid-back... it really fits with the 'I really don't care about how I come across' idea.

I've got a really social day tomorrow, so I'm going to carry your thoughts with me.... I don't care.... I JUST don't care!
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Old 25th July 2014, 22:55
Alena Lunae Alena Lunae is offline
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Old 26th July 2014, 09:16
iTz0kt0Bu iTz0kt0Bu is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

Nice read

I hope to also overcome SA and not waste my days on the screen, I do admit I need to put in more practical effort though.
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Old 26th July 2014, 19:10
Alena Lunae Alena Lunae is offline
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Old 26th July 2014, 19:34
Alena Lunae Alena Lunae is offline
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  #9  
Old 26th July 2014, 22:39
Lifebuoy Lifebuoy is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alena Lunae
^ Thanks!
Good luck with it tomorrow. It takes some getting used to not caring after you care so much for so long but when you're there you just feel relaxed and you don't have to worry anymore. I never worry about anything now or have the heart pounding in the chest feeling at really lame small things, just don't see a need to anymore.
Well... just to report that I did use your 'I don't care what people think' approach today. I was going paddling with 5 people then to a BBQ with 6 (3 of whom I hadn't met before). Last night in a half sleep I was rehearsing 'I don't care...' and again this morning before I left the house, in combination with a few Positive Affirmations. It worked brilliantly and I wasn't self-conscious. Admittedly there was a bit of alcohol involved with the BBQ, but I was talking and quipping very successfully. I wasn't even checking to see how people were reacting to me... because frankly... I didn't care!

So a big thanks to you AL. That's another very handy technique... philosophy even... to use.
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Old 27th July 2014, 19:42
Alena Lunae Alena Lunae is offline
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  #11  
Old 28th July 2014, 09:20
Lifebuoy Lifebuoy is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

I like your website... ribs still hurting!

I would follow you AL... but where are you thinking of going?
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  #12  
Old 28th July 2014, 16:28
Olly. Olly. is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

Well done, AL, its good to see some awesome inspiring stuff of overcoming SA and I will have to try the 'I don't care' mentality next time I'm in a social situation, cause very often in social situations, all these typical negative SA concerns are just completely unnecessary and I do from time to time ask myself 'Why should what others think of me matter, why should I care so much?' especially when much of the time I don't know for sure whether they're thinking it or not, nor can I hear their thoughts unless they're a complete twat who likes to shout horrible stuff at random strangers, but of course those people are very rare.

And I like your suggestion of walking through a busy shopping centre or social area as well, its what I've been doing in my recent counselling sessions with my counsellor as well, we even just walked up and down the precinct as well.

And as for writing, you could write something and send it to a mental health charity like Mind or even the SA charity that has been set up, I'm sure what you've written here would provide some great food for thought for anyone struggling with SA. Good luck in Greece!
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  #13  
Old 29th July 2014, 21:33
Alena Lunae Alena Lunae is offline
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  #14  
Old 30th July 2014, 23:11
Lifebuoy Lifebuoy is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

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Originally Posted by Alena Lunae
Thanks! Uhm, it's just my tumblr blog, you post things that are meaningful to you there or whatever, and gain other followers then they can reblog some of your stuff to their blog and so on and so forth. If you want to follow though go ahead, I don't mind, I will give you a follow back. ^^
Oh I see... it's for blogging things. Not that it matters. Just wanted to say 'Nice one!' really.
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  #15  
Old 30th July 2014, 23:27
Azi Azi is offline
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Default Re: I barely have social anxiety anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alena Lunae
So uhm, I got back in contact with my mum a good 9 months ago now, after losing her for 8 years, anyway long story short I told her all the bad things that happened to me in my life and how I was a mute most of the time in high school and the weird kid in primary school no one cared about. I told her in-depth about my anxiety, and I kind of just snapped out of it after telling her everything for the past few months to the point that I'm not that scared shy girl anymore with people, I'm loud and rather playful and I don't really care what I say, if I say something bad I'm not about to have a heart attack over it anymore and deeply regret it like a betrayal because it's not... I just speak honestly and say the truth and apologize if I offended someone, you will find a lot more people will respect you for apologizing and being honest and I have noticed with SA you tend to lie a lot and really there is not much need for it with me anymore. I also think that SA distorts your common sense because of the panic and worry, so I have tried to just think more logically these days and I'm getting better at it because my logic has become fast in situations where I need quick ideas.

My mum and I have an odd relationship, we are more like just really good friends than parent and daughter, it is WAY better to be like sort of best friends with your mum than not getting along, if I didn't get along with her it would be because she doesn't understand, well I would then make her understand me no matter how long it took because I know how valuable a relationship like that is. Anyway with that said, she has totally helped me to stop having any SA at all, and all it was is just her to sit there and listen and tell me how things really are, it just took someone close to listen to how I felt, even had a laugh with doing it.
I mean I couldn't get on a stage and sing or something but I would probably have no problem in front of an audience and read something.

If I feel a bit anxious sometimes I will just outright say it to whoever I'm with and they automatically try to ease the situation. It's with the understanding of others and the fearlessness I am now able to go forward and stop being shy and held back. I simply just stopped giving a ****, that's all there is to it, once you stop caring you begin to feel like you can just do anything, and you can. Obviously, care for those who care for you and you can't really go wrong, and don't shit stir or say something about someone else you weren't supposed to.
Don't over think too, because over thinking always ends up leading to negative thoughts and stops you from doing things, I don't see a need to over think things now, I just try to handle situations simply and if I want to do something I just do it, if I want to eat ice cream and walk down the road in the rain, I will do that and not care what anyone else thinks.

I don't need SAUK anymore tbh. I am just on here because I'm bored and I used to come on here a long time ago in my worst moments and the admins/moderators and also some users looked after me, especially Azi, so thanks for all the help. I appreciate it a lot. Sometimes you just need someone to listen to you, isolating yourself isn't really the answer if you don't want to have SA. Get out into the world and stop caring so much, that's how I did it. I feel very happy now, going to Greece to see my boyfriend soon too and I get to meet a bunch of new people - I am actually looking forward to meeting new people too!
You've overcome so much - I'm really chuffed for you! Hope you have a wonderful time in Greece. :
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