Is it only me or does anyone else feel awkward showing emotion on-line?

EnJay:Evolution · #1 7th May 2007, 22:11

Howdy SAUK

I very rarely post threads in here but something has just popped up in me mind and i wanted to throw it out there and see if anyone else, as the title says, feels awkward showing emotion on-line.

After QuietGirl posted about what happaned to her brother(see "How is Everyone Feeling....") she was given several replies offering sympathy and

I read and thought that maybe i should reply aswell, it may not mean much but it's better than nothing.

But i couldn't, i just felt really uncomfortable posting. This happans all the time, everyone else seems to have no trouble offering sympathy and support and i can't. It just doesn't feel natural, i know i do feel sympathy but i still can't show it.

Maybe i don't want to come across as "phoney", almost as if it's not expected of me to post something like that so i don't.

It's not just that, this place is like a little community where everyone knows everyone. I see people laughing and joking with each other, exchanging banter, but i can't. Again, it just doesn't feel natural. I'm better at communicating with people off-line which doesn't make much sense to me.

So i'm curious to know if it's just me that feels like this. Or maybe i'm just rambling because i have something vaguely SA to post about. I don't know, folks, i just don't know.

Peace.

paulthequiet · #2 7th May 2007, 22:18

Very much so...the sad thing is its possibly even harder for me to do so offline.

I really don't know what to add to that but I know what you mean about wanting to say something but worrying about how it'll look and thus usually deciding to say nothing.

edit: oh and ditto with the banter too, although I supposeI kinda manage it on another forum I guess

EnJay:Evolution · #3 7th May 2007, 22:26

/\

Thanks for the reply, good to know it's not just me. Well, not good. Reasuring is perhaps the better word.

#4 7th May 2007, 22:28

I just post whatever crap is in my head, usually wothless but that's the way it is

.The great thing about an anonymous board like this is that a lot of us SA'ers can be a bit more open and expressive than we are in the real world.

Stervek · #5 7th May 2007, 22:33

Yes, I am the same. I rarely post here to be honest, despite having been around here for more than 5 years, and SAUK having had probably the biggest impact on my life than anything else. I don't feel worth of posting, certainly not of starting a new thread. I don't feel people want to hear what I have to say. Most of the time I don't even have alot to say. I prefer the chat room, again alot of the time, I don't say all that much, for the same reasons. People appear to know each other well and I find it difficult to see why I should upset that atmosphere. It is easier to avoid. Just like most things in life. If I try to show emotion, it feels 'fake', I think thats the main reason I don't often.

How often when I'm feeling bad, and am asked 'how are you?', do I reply 'Fine'. Most times. I'm a compulsive liar!

Kev

Pal · #6 8th May 2007, 00:12

Considering i've spent the last 4 or 5 weeks showing horrendous amounts of emotion on here, no not at all.

I actually find it much much easier to show emotion online then i do offline!!!

Pal · #7 8th May 2007, 00:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stervek

Yes, I am the same. I rarely post here to be honest, despite having been around here for more than 5 years, and SAUK having had probably the biggest impact on my life than anything else. I don't feel worth of posting, certainly not of starting a new thread. I don't feel people want to hear what I have to say. Most of the time I don't even have alot to say. I prefer the chat room, again alot of the time, I don't say all that much, for the same reasons. People appear to know each other well and I find it difficult to see why I should upset that atmosphere. It is easier to avoid. Just like most things in life. If I try to show emotion, it feels 'fake', I think thats the main reason I don't often.

How often when I'm feeling bad, and am asked 'how are you?', do I reply 'Fine'. Most times. I'm a compulsive liar!

Kev

Do it!!

That's what we're here for and i don't think your unworthy of this forum at all.

Admiral Fool · #8 8th May 2007, 18:54

Yeh definitely. I think it is mostly because I don't actually know who I am offering sympathy to. That does, for me at least, make me feel a bit false. It's easier with some people on another forum because i've got to know them over a couple of years, so feel a bit more comfortable because i'm taking a genuine interest.

Displaying emotion is pretty difficult for me to. I do it a bit but nearly always curtail myself, and not give to much away because I know it is going to be read and sort of permanently logged, and I will feel abit embarrased about that later. I wish I wasn't so British. On the plus side purging some of my emotional side does make me feel better, and there are not many people I can talk to about this stuff in 'da real world, and with the ones I can, I worry that I will eventually bore them with it if I go on non-stop.

I've also noticed that people even offering platitudes to what I have said is cool by me, because it makes me feel less of an idiot for posting it in the first place.

#9 8th May 2007, 19:01

Quote:

I've also noticed that people even offering platitudes to what I have said is cool by me, because it makes me feel less of an idiot for posting it in the first place.

That's good to hear.99% of my advice consists of platitude's

purplecherry · #10 8th May 2007, 20:21

I know what you mean Enjay, and believe me, you are far from being alone, in fact i think that many, many people feel the same, and its not just Sa people.

But you know what? Just the fact that you are concerned, worried about this and are writing a thread about it, it shows how sweet you are inside, really, it shows you really do care.

Zotz · #11 8th May 2007, 21:59

Yeah, I know what you mean. Every time I try to write something sympathetic I read it back and it sounds a bit rubbish and fake so I end up deleting it.
Being able to express myself properly is one of the things that I really want to work on.

EnJay:Evolution · #12 9th May 2007, 18:51

YAY! REPLIES!

Thanks everyone, i appreciate the feedback. And i'm still uncomfortable saying that.

Ross PK · #13 10th May 2007, 12:24

Not really.

Aurora · #14 10th May 2007, 13:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stervek

Yes, I am the same. I rarely post here to be honest, despite having been around here for more than 5 years, and SAUK having had probably the biggest impact on my life than anything else. I don't feel worth of posting, certainly not of starting a new thread. I don't feel people want to hear what I have to say. Most of the time I don't even have alot to say. I prefer the chat room, again alot of the time, I don't say all that much, for the same reasons. People appear to know each other well and I find it difficult to see why I should upset that atmosphere. It is easier to avoid. Just like most things in life. If I try to show emotion, it feels 'fake', I think thats the main reason I don't often.

How often when I'm feeling bad, and am asked 'how are you?', do I reply 'Fine'. Most times. I'm a compulsive liar!

Kev

This just about sums me up too!
I do alot more reading of posts than actually making them just for the reasons you said. Saying this offline i'm even harder to suss out i either put on the false smile that everythings rosie when infact i feel far from it or i'm crying for no bloddy reaso at all
Don't think i know the real me anymore

munch · #15 10th May 2007, 14:10

I find it incredibly difficult. When trying to offer support I go through the same thing every time, write a lengthy response, re-read it, delete parts of it, change it round a bit, re-read again, delete some more, re-read, delete even more - end up posting a pathetic couple of lines that don't really offer any support at all. I always think I'm going to say the wrong thing and make things worse. I end up feeling bad because the support i receive from other people on here has been fantastic and has really helped me.

Concept · #16 10th May 2007, 14:34

I don't really feel akward by virtue of the fact that I could use similar logic to stop expressing thought and opinion on anything online. As long as you're aware that often sentiment has no contextual bearing beyond a bunch of strangers communicating then all it is, is words.

What I do feel uncomfortable by is hypocrisy. I often don't reply to threads because if I try and support people through methods I don't use to solve my own problems then it has little-to-no validity in my eyes. Emotion doesn't really come into that.

Medea · #17 10th May 2007, 16:50

I find it hard to post when I feel that I don't have anything new to say, or worry the person might not think I'm being genuine. Threads like "happy birthday" or "x happened to me, I'm so happy!" with loads of people replying "well done!". I worry if I post the same it will seem insincere.

crazy head.

ren

filo · #18 10th May 2007, 19:27

Incredibly difficult yes - online and offline.

purplecherry · #19 10th May 2007, 20:45

I remember now there were a couple of posts , they were just too sad, I couldnt bring myself to say anything.

Just like with Toonkate, for some reason i just was so mad and wanted to scream so badly, and i just tought , what am gonna say, a few useless words? shes gone anyway, so i didnt say anything and now i feel bad and i regret it........

But you all people who wrote a line or two, did the right thing.

And right now i realize i may have been, no, have been egotistical, cause i was thinking , focusing on me, my feelings, how am gonna write it so it doesnt sound fake or something but : Who am i to say that her family wouldnt appreciate it? I want to say to everyone here, dont worry, if it sounds fake or weird or empty or something, as this is the right thing to do, helping that particular person, and imagine if everyone thought the same, and no one would post any support/sympaties? that would make the person feel even worse. Maybe your few words will help/comfort that person exactly in the way he /she needed, and you dont know it, and never will.

Anyway, i am convinced that at another level at the level of the Heart somewhere, your good thoughts and intentions are felt and received , exactly as you would them want to.

The world is just such a sick place, and theres so much suffering, we should help and be there for each other as much as we possibly can.

EnJay:Evolution · #20 11th May 2007, 22:54

More responses, more appreciation from me.

Perhaps i should just say whatever i'm thinking, it's not like i'm hurting anybody. It's all gravy, as someone once said.

EnJay:Evolution · #21 11th May 2007, 23:10

I often shake my head at some peoples posts. Luckily i only come here in the evenings mainly so i'm in no danger of smacking someone out of frustration.