The 30+ how are you feeling thread - Page 35

T · #**1021** 23rd October 2022, 22:26

Haven't been to bad of late to be honest i've been getting out there and enjoying life, but it is abit tiresome trying not to let my SA/Shyness sneek it!

T · #**1022** 21st May 2023, 22:12

^

same

Mo34 · #**1023** 8th October 2023, 12:33

I don't half wonder if I'm going to head towards some kind of midlife crisis where I go off and do a load of random things.

Since turning 45 I've had an on and off profound depression. And kind of permanent state of dissatisfaction.

Live in a rented flat, no kids, no family, no significant other, a p/time job I fell into and I’m not that great at and certainly not passionate about like some of my colleagues. And a future that is going nowhere.
Just before Covid I started a Access Course in animal management but had to stop (thankfully before the Advanced learner loan was drawn down on) because of the job I took in part but also cause of my neck at the time. My intention was to do it in the future maybe and rearrange my hours at work.

Anyway, covid happened and then they withdrew the course. However, I have found a college in the neighbouring county that does a distance learning Vet science access course and accepts the Advanced learner loan. So applied for it on Friday. I feel like it's a mad thing to do as I am 45 and it's probably all too late. (the end goal originally was to do a foundation degree in Vet nursing).
Don't know if I will do anything with it afterwards in truth – I doubt I could afford to do a degree in terms of living costs and then there’s all the anxiety crap - but at least the Access course itself will lift me out of the abject boredom I seem to have sunk into.
Well providing the loan is approved.

My counsellor if she ever gets in touch again (she’s off sick) will have a fit lol, she’s been trying to get me to just accept my lot. Which tbh is possibly what has kicked off this ‘**** it’ behaviour in me.

I seem at the min to just suddenly think sod it and do something. Booking a trip to Northants is another example. Procrastinate for years, literally. And yet lately just woke up and did it.

Yeah I think mid-life might be a weird one for me.....

Laurel · #**1024** 8th October 2023, 12:52

never too late. Certainly I can relate with the 40s abject boredom.

Rocket Spud · #**1025** 8th October 2023, 13:10

Can't really add any rays of sunshine here as i feel very much the same only being slightly younger. I would agree with Laurel that, at your age, it's not too late as, all being good with your health, you still have 20+ 'working years' to give and develop into and that's a long, long time. Also, 'going a bit mad' isn't anything to get worried about during midlife i don't think, as long as you keep it in check.

Mo34 · #**1026** 8th October 2023, 15:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurel

never too late. Certainly I can relate with the 40s abject boredom.

I guess it isn't too late though sometimes it feels like it is.

I wonder how common boredom is in ppl's 40's/midlife? or maybe it's more pronounced in us sa'ers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

Can't really add any rays of sunshine here as i feel very much the same only being slightly younger. I would agree with Laurel that, at your age, it's not too late as, all being good with your health, you still have 20+ 'working years' to give and develop into and that's a long, long time. Also, 'going a bit mad' isn't anything to get worried about during midlife i don't think, as long as you keep it in check.

Yeah that is true. I certainly don't have anything to lose I suppose.

lol yeah I don't intend to do anything too drastic......well not that i'm aware of anyway!

Sorry your feeling the same way. It's pants isn't it.

Dougella · #**1027** 8th October 2023, 16:21

^ Doing the vet science access course sounds like a good thing to do, and something you want to do,so why not go for it

I have to say your counsellor's advice of "just accepting your lot" doesn't sound very healthy! Ofcourse if you don't feel happy or fulfilled etc you don't have to just accept it (Some things that we can't change we do have to come to terms with accepting, but not everything.)

I've been having some slightly similar feeling lately of birthdays going by and feeling like if i want to be doing some things i should probably get on with it.

Mo34 · #**1028** 8th October 2023, 19:22

^ Thanks

Yes, as I've said above I've got nothing to lose I suppose.

Lol well I think possibly I moan to much in counselling! She has said what about just accepting things as they are instead of railing against things so much. But yes I take your point about changing the things that are possible.

It's hard isn't it. Time slips by so quickly.

Merry · #**1029** 9th October 2023, 16:12

^ I was really worried about starting my MA this year. I applied because I was too ill to go back to work but had got quite depressed not having anything to focus on. I actually applied for last year but deferred starting it as my stamina was pretty poor.
(I was doing so much better and feeling quite normal and energetic, but then caught covid again on the first bloody week

)
I was getting so anxious in the build up, thinking everyone would be really young, people would think I was very odd for signing up for something like that at my age (now 50), but when I started about half the people in my group are around the same age. One woman has come straight from doing a degree, and has started teaching part time on the course she just finished, while starting the MA, and she's a grandmother.
Like Spud says, you have 20+ years of working age, that's a long time if you look back 20 years and remember what you were doing then.
You may as well work towards something

Hope the loan gets approved, fingers crossed.

gregarious_introvert · #**1030** 9th October 2023, 21:49

All this talk of midlife and birthdays slipping by is making me feel very old! You youngsters!

Mo, do whatever makes you feel good, it really is never too late, as others have said. My life changed dramatically in my mid-50s, so anything is possible and if you (that's anyone, not just Mo) have a goal, now is the time to start working towards it, whether you're 35, 45 or 55.

Sent from my M2010J19CG using Tapatalk

Mellie · #**1031** 10th October 2023, 19:12

Pissed off with everyone and life

choirgirl · #**1032** 10th October 2023, 21:55

It's cool to do the thing, Mo. Midlife renaissance!
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the next best time is today, and all that.
Gah, I'm back at the earning a living problem and trying to drill it down into working around my limitations.

choirgirl · #**1033** 10th October 2023, 22:17

I had a rage attack today. Only in my head. Brought on by the old workplace underachievement thing which got triggered plus seeing babies. I've been doing some hard processing there but I'm silently enraged. If I was good at something I could have probably have had a baby. I could have had one anyway! Gah. Rage. It's a weird one. As the baby recedes into the rear view mirror the rage has come. It was probably always there at a lower level.