Collection of SA/self-help book recommendation threads and links to free CBT

[Kath]

The best book ive read - Conversationally Speaking by Alan Garner, has helped me a lot. To get the most of it read it as the book says, one chapter at a time to give yourself time to take it all in. Ive read it several times and refer back to certain chapters when I need to.

Chapters include:

Reducing Anxiety in Social Situations
Starting conversations
Asking questions to promote conversation
Letting others know who you are
Listening so others will talk

[david mckenna]

ive read loads and loads of books on shyness and social anxiety and most of them have been useless but out of all of the crap ive read ive found 2 absolute gems :

*overcoming social anxiety and shyness by gillian butler

*the shyness and social anxiety workbook:proven technigues for overcoming your fears by martin m antony and richard p swinson

the 1st one explains perfectly wot happens in ur mind when u suffer with SA, there is no better explanation out there and having that knowledge really helps to overcome the problem, it also gives u practicall tools to change ur beleifs
the 2nd one really helps by giving an action plan to overcoming ur problem

both are great and i suggest u purchase both cos they each offer values that the othetr doesn't

if you use both of them in conjuction with listening to thinkrightnow's 'conquering socail anxiety CD' (www.thinkrightnow.com) you can't go wrong mate

[Ben]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6500341.stm

http://www.fearfighter.com/

Ask your doc, he will sign you up, job done

[fraggle]

I've read loads of self help books too, and they make me feel better depending upon my approach. If i take their advice it helps for a while especially CBT. Others sometimes leave something behind, make a little change. Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne w Dyer was very good, i've remembered loads and there has been many a time since reading it that i've been on my way down the rabbit hole of despair and been interupted by an idea from him. Overcoming social anxety and shyness, Gillian Butler i think? was excellent but again you've got to do the work. I am a self help fan because i'm sensitive to the stimulus that i receive, so i guess i'm more receptive. Reading all of them, and i don't suspect they will ever run out- does only good to me.

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Sid

I am going to buy "Overcoming Low self esteem" By Melanie Fennel. As mentioned by Mico on page 5 of this thread.

I have been working from it last few weeks with my therapist and it seams quiet down to earth none boggy type stuff!

My therapist seams to only have excellent things to say about it and uses it a lot.

Just thought Id mention it

There's a self help course that accompanys that book if you're interested!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-L...7138567&sr=8-2

[Pal]

Originally Posted by Sid

Fab, Thanks Pal!

(Didnt know about that bit)

I've got it (haven't used it yet though) but seeing as SA is largely about a lack of self esteem it is very useful.

[Pal]

This might be helpful to some.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Survival-Psy...7397020&sr=8-1

Borrowed it from the libuary, so far it looks very interesting and i can see some of it being helpful for SA sufferers when they're having bad moments.

[mi©o]

Originally Posted by Sid

I am going to buy "Overcoming Low self esteem" By Melanie Fennel. As mentioned by Mico on page 5 of this thread.

I have been working from it last few weeks with my therapist and it seams quiet down to earth none boggy type stuff!

My therapist seams to only have excellent things to say about it and uses it a lot.

Just thought Id mention it

Since, 3 years later, I still haven't read it, maybe I should?

[Innervision]

Just reading my BACP Therapy journal and spotted a forthcoming book due out in May 2008 called ... 'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Social Anxiety Disorder' by Stefan G. Hofmann and Michael W. Otto.

This is a brief passage on the book...

Social anxiety disorder, or social phobia, is among the most common and debilitating of the anxiety disorders, and at any given time it effects somewhere between 3 and 5% of the US population, with similar statistics found in countries around the world.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been demonstrated to be the most effective form of treatment for social phobia, but research has shown that conventional CBT principles and general interventions fall short of the mark. With this in mind, Dr's Hofmann and Otto have composed an organised treatment approach that includes specifically designed interventions to strengthen the relevant CBT strategies. This volume builds upon empirical research to address the psychopathology and heterogeneity of social phobia, creating a series of specific interventions with numerous case examples.

Contents: Description of disorder. Overall description of treatment strategy. Session by session interventions. Research basis. Clinical cases. Complicating factors. Maintenance and follow-up strategies.

272 pages.
Paperback: £17.95.

This book is aimed at clinicians, students and trainees but may be useful if anyone comes across it.

There is also another book in the series called "Cognitive Behavioural Treatment for Generalized Anxiety Disorder" by Michel J. Dugas and Melisa Robichaud.

224 pages and is £17.95.

Both books are marketed as practical clinical guidebooks rather than self-help type books, but still, they may offer something useful to some.

[coggy]

"overcoming social anxiety and shyness by gillian butler"
I read this one and found it to be useful it gave me the help I needed to actually go to my GP and he got me into CBT treatment.

[Pal]

Hello Chaps

I spent 2 and a half sodding hours at the eye hospital yesterday with my dad so had plenty of time to wonder over to the local WHSmith shop and have a nosy at the books on offer.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Personal-Dev...2495243&sr=1-1

Came across this one which looks like an excellent book to introduce people to NLP/CBT and Hypnosis. I've come across a couple of these "**** for dummies" type books and the couple i've got are really really good for learning the basics and developing a grounding in that subject.

I didn't buy it since it's £20 and i only had just over a tenner on me but i managed to get a good look, i'd definetly recommend checking it out at least.

[lefty83]

I downloaded yesterday "Free Yourself From Fears" by Joseph O'Connor...its a book based NLP and the way we handle/deal with our fears...there was a bit in the book which I like especially, phobic fears are created by our imagination only.

They appear as real and we get the symptoms of fear, which stops us for example in a social situation to chat up a stranger for whatever reason. I don't know what happend but after reading this, knowing my fear is just imaginery, I thought to myself what the heck am I doing here, letting this irrational imaginery fear stop me from socalising etc.

Today then I was able to overstep this fear, putting it down as imaginery and irrational and was able to chat up strangers without feeling any akwardness. I've never done this before but I felt relaxed, knowing there is nothing bad about it and even if those strangers think afterwards what a twat I am (i'm not!) doesnt mean anything..because fear of embaressment, rejection for example, is just a fear we learned while growing up but it can be unlearned.

I'm not saying this works for all, but for me realsing it basically reading it on black/white, gave me a kick up my arse and told me to wake up, there is absolutly nothing to fear about other people. Fear is usefull if it stops me from falling down the eifel tower but its useless if it makes me freeze up in public/transport/conversation etc...

anyways just thought i mention it, quite a good read. Can be found on your usual torrent sites

[david mckenna]

Originally Posted by lefty83

I downloaded yesterday "Free Yourself From Fears" by Joseph O'Connor...its a book based NLP and the way we handle/deal with our fears...there was a bit in the book which I like especially, phobic fears are created by our imagination only.

They appear as real and we get the symptoms of fear, which stops us for example in a social situation to chat up a stranger for whatever reason. I don't know what happend but after reading this, knowing my fear is just imaginery, I thought to myself what the heck am I doing here, letting this irrational imaginery fear stop me from socalising etc.

Today then I was able to overstep this fear, putting it down as imaginery and irrational and was able to chat up strangers without feeling any akwardness. I've never done this before but I felt relaxed, knowing there is nothing bad about it and even if those strangers think afterwards what a twat I am (i'm not!) doesnt mean anything..because fear of embaressment, rejection for example, is just a fear we learned while growing up but it can be unlearned.

I'm not saying this works for all, but for me realsing it basically reading it on black/white, gave me a kick up my arse and told me to wake up, there is absolutly nothing to fear about other people. Fear is usefull if it stops me from falling down the eifel tower but its useless if it makes me freeze up in public/transport/conversation etc...

anyways just thought i mention it, quite a good read. Can be found on your usual torrent sites

im a fan of nlp but im affraid im not too keen on this particular book

[Pal]

Originally Posted by lefty83

I downloaded yesterday "Free Yourself From Fears" by Joseph O'Connor...its a book based NLP and the way we handle/deal with our fears...there was a bit in the book which I like especially, phobic fears are created by our imagination only.

They appear as real and we get the symptoms of fear, which stops us for example in a social situation to chat up a stranger for whatever reason. I don't know what happend but after reading this, knowing my fear is just imaginery, I thought to myself what the heck am I doing here, letting this irrational imaginery fear stop me from socalising etc.

Today then I was able to overstep this fear, putting it down as imaginery and irrational and was able to chat up strangers without feeling any akwardness. I've never done this before but I felt relaxed, knowing there is nothing bad about it and even if those strangers think afterwards what a twat I am (i'm not!) doesnt mean anything..because fear of embaressment, rejection for example, is just a fear we learned while growing up but it can be unlearned.

I'm not saying this works for all, but for me realsing it basically reading it on black/white, gave me a kick up my arse and told me to wake up, there is absolutly nothing to fear about other people. Fear is usefull if it stops me from falling down the eifel tower but its useless if it makes me freeze up in public/transport/conversation etc...

anyways just thought i mention it, quite a good read. Can be found on your usual torrent sites

I think that's half the thing with fear is that you always imagine the worst possible situation that can happen and it plagues your mind and prevents you from even attempting. Yet again another reason why CBT is so good is that it helps you too look at things in less blanket terms. I always like the NLP method of finding humour in fear.

Joseph O'Connors stuff is quite good but i find it a bit heavy and can be difficult to take in.

[Candyman]

I've read the first chapter or so and I'm enjoying this book too. I quite like his "heady" approach to explaining fear and anxiety. The message just clicks with me.

I didn't like how he's using the term "social anxiety" in a different context. He should have used a different term instead...otherwise, that's my only major complaint so far.

The OP should mention this book in the sticky we have in this forum section for book recommendations.

[Occultus]

Originally Posted by Candyman

The OP should mention this book in the sticky we have in this forum section for book recommendations.

Merged

[Candyman]

Thanks!

I was wondering where the post went.

[lefty83]

Originally Posted by Candyman

I've read the first chapter or so and I'm enjoying this book too. I quite like his "heady" approach to explaining fear and anxiety. The message just clicks with me.

I didn't like how he's using the term "social anxiety" in a different context. He should have used a different term instead...otherwise, that's my only major complaint so far.

The OP should mention this book in the sticky we have in this forum section for book recommendations.

yep, didnt like the way he used social anxiety neither...Did you do any of the exercises yet?

[Candyman]

Originally Posted by lefty83

yep, didnt like the way he used social anxiety neither...Did you do any of the exercises yet?

I did some of the visualizing exercises.

The take away message from the book is simple: The social anxiety we experience is 'fake fear'. People don't go to therapy if they have a fear of guns, fire, aggressive animals, robbers...why? Because it's perfectly NORMAL to be afraid of these things. Talking to the mailman is NOT something to be afraid of. It's a fake fear. However, just because it's fake doesn't mean it doesn't feel real.

Also, fear is good. It's there to help us and keep us alive. If fear didn't exist you wouldn't be here today, because our ancestors probably wouldn't have survived long...they would have fallen off cliffs or did a number of other stupid things without fear. Fear is your friend. Don't hate it. However, if you have FAKE FEAR then you need to fix it.

Next time you're in a dangerous situation and you feel fearful be thankful for that feeling, because it's keeping you alive.

[Pal]

Got myself a copy of this.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Building-Sel...4965207&sr=8-1

Like i said before i'm a big fan of these "for dummies/idiots guide" type books as they usually include some excellent advise, albeit basic.

I brought this for it's material on dealing with and controling emotions but there's a tremendous amount there for all aspects of building up self confidence all broken down into nice easy segments.

Amazon has a search inside function for this book so take a peek inside and have a look.

[charlotte]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had read 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine Aron and what they thought of it?

Originally Posted by charlotte

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had read 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine Aron and what they thought of it?

I've read it - it's very good and helpful. I'd recommend it

[welly]

yes ive read the highly sensitive person and the highly sensitive person in love and the highly sensitive person at work all fantastic especially the last one. worth every penny

[charlotte]

Thanks I.G. and welly for the recommendations, I've started reading it and am actually astounded at how accurately it describes me!

[Pal]

Another book recommendation from me (you lot will get sick to death of these at some point ).

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Neuro-lingui...5744256&sr=8-4

I'm usually reluctant to recommend specific NLP material because of some of the ludicrous claim that some trainers will make so i was quite pleasently surprised to find this one actually does seem to stay on the level. I don't claim to be an expert on NLP and have been reluctant to get involved in it partly because the NLP books i've borrowed have been difficult to follow, certainetly not so in this case. Also some NLP emphasises blind optimism where's this one sticks to realistic optimism. I've heard critisism of this book about how the authors don't seem to know what they're talking about, i don't see quite why they think that but i'm sure someone will explain it to me soon enough.

Anyway well worth looking into if you have an interest in NLP, as usual Amazon have a "search inside" function.

[Pal]

Not sure if any SA sufferers are actually going to find this helpful per say but it might give them a new percpective of looking at things.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unthinkable-...6325240&sr=1-1

Survival Psychology has always been one of my favourite psychology subjects!!

[Candyman]

I'm currently reading the following: "Without Embarrassment: The Social Coward's Totally Fearless Seduction System"

http://www.amazon.com/Without-Embarr.../dp/1412013739

This guy hit the nail on the head when it comes to people with anxiety problems and dating. Everything he says resonates with me, which hasn't been the case with a lot of that pickup material out there on the net. This stuff is geared towards people with severe anxiety problems who want to start dating.

[ctrl+alt+del]

Has anyone completed the audio series "Overcoming Social Anxiety Step by Step" by Dr Thomas A. Richards? (I did see a couple of posts from 2006 from people who were starting it) I've just downloaded it & am going to get my ass in gear & start it asap as I'm starting college soon (as a "mature" student) so will need all the help I can get. Was just wondering if anyone has tried it & found it useful?

[plasticflower]

Originally Posted by ctrl+alt+del

Has anyone completed the audio series "Overcoming Social Anxiety Step by Step" by Dr Thomas A. Richards? (I did see a couple of posts from 2006 from people who were starting it) I've just downloaded it & am going to get my ass in gear & start it asap as I'm starting college soon (as a "mature" student) so will need all the help I can get. Was just wondering if anyone has tried it & found it useful?

i listened to about 3 tapes then gave up for some reason. cos i dunno if i can be asked to listed to all the tapes if they dont work..
and i found it kinda confusing have to 'distract' your negative thoughts by singing or something when you realised you were thinking them..

[ctrl+alt+del]

Hey plasticflower, thanks for replying. I've only listened to two of the tapes and already his voice is grating on my nerves, oh dear!

'distract' your negative thoughts by singing or something

hmm that's all well and good if you're alone in the comfort of your own home but sounds like strange advice for SA sufferers, who are likely to have their negative thoughts when in social situations

And so the search for a miracle cure continues.................